I am and have always been a bit of a late bloomer. It can take me longer than most to accept new and different ideas, or at least there is a part of me that perceives it this way. I was the last of all my friends to enter puberty, one the last ones to lose my virginity, and I have just discovered that I am one of the last to truly understand and appreciate my female friends, aka girls nights. This seems so odd to even admit or to write about, especially as I posted in November about my amazing girls night. But a poignant realization has brought me to a whole new understanding about the company of my females.
I have always had my little circle of ladies in my life. I have my cousin, who is my nearest and dearest, childhood friends, the ladies I refer to as my wives, and recently a group of amazing and strong ladies who are happy to share bottle after bottle of red wine and laugh until our cheeks hurt. But I must admit the problem that I only just discovered, for me having women was wonderful and I enjoy their company, but I was always missing my man or the man of the hour. If I went out dancing with just the girls, I would make sure that I was dropped off or picked up by boyfriend. When I would go out for drinks and appetizers with my female friends my phone would always be visible and you can bet that I was flirting with someone on the other end via text, e-mail or various other forms of technology. I always thought it was wonderful that I had these ladies to talk to, but a part of me was just longing for the sex that awaited me when I got home.
And to be honest with myself, I only just admitted this to myself this weekend. I would have a few hours where I would forget about boys and talk about life and other various things, but some guy would always creep into my consciousness. Of course the exception to this is and always has been if any of my friends male or female needed my help. In this case, my full attention was and is always there. I love the people in my life and I enjoy being a source of comfort or just being that ear to listen. I am not completely selfish, just in the light of ladies night. I am 28 years old, and this past weekend I just had the most fulfilling ladies night that I have ever had. We laughed, drank, talked about boys, life, and sex. But the difference was that I was completely absorbed in the conversation and was not wanting it to end. There is something to be said I think for living life to the fullest. I have acknowledged that I eagerly want to attain this in my relationships. But the most amazing side result was that this is trickling into even my female relationships.
I don`t think I was ever a girly girly for lack of a better term. I have though put up a wall between myself and the ladies in my life. For so long I have not shared anything but funny stories and the current points of my life. To open up and share fantasy, and reality with these women and hear about their lives, wants and desires, what else can I say other than I was missing a really amazing gift. Life does not have to be plodded on alone, instead you can share and learn with each other the failings and shortcomings. Even more amazing though, is to have woman who applaud and share the joy and accomplishments with. Women are not the enemy and competition that I think so many of us have come to believe throughout our lives. Thus I think it deserves mentioning that the relationships we forge with the people of the same sex can be just as important as how we relate and react to the opposite ones.