E, planted the first seed into my consciousness that open relationships were a possibility but in continuing the horticultural analogy there was a pot and some dirt already in place. The pot we shall call my questioning everything even from a young age and trying to keep my own drum beat (I even learned how to play the drums in junior high just to prove a girl could) also my fascination with anthropology and archaeology. But the dirt, now that is an interesting mixture and it was provided by a TV show that I love to this day, Penn and Tellers Bullshit. The episode in question was called Family Values, which aired in 2005. I owned the entire series for quite a few years and at the time I had no idea how impactful that episode would be to me.
I remember watching the polyamorous family with a blown mind. I was as squeamish watching the four people love each other as I was intrigued. In pure honesty I would have been much more open to the idea of loving more than one person had the couples on the screen been more attractive. Yes, I have a tendency to be superficial at times, but I was not grossed out so much a little defencive to the idea that their were children raised in that household. I was perfectly fine with the idea of two couples loving each other so long as the children were adults and I am pretty sure that I rationalized my reaction just like that too. The other families shown on the episode were almost natural to me. Why would anyone question the parenting of two woman? It just did not cross my mind for an instant as being out of the realm of natural. The best line from the whole episode however was the statistic that in gay and lesbian couples, children were almost always planned and prepared for, that they fared better overall than heterosexual children.
But I have digressed, here was a show that for the first time depicted a loving and happy family with multiple love outside of the confines of just two individuals loving each other. I did not know it then, but after re-watching it, the husbands sentiment really hit home. He mentioned that there is too great of pressure in expecting just one person to fulfill all of your needs. The idea that one soul mate is responsible for completing you when there are billions of us on this planet is absurd. I personally change my views and opinions on an almost daily basis. I become more educated and meet new people every day, I learn, grow and expand my horizons and outlooks. That would be an enormous amount of pressure to put onto just one other human being to share in that journey solely forever and ever.
So continue to read, to grow, and be brave in saying that your ideas have changed or in some cases deepened with all the additional education we are lucky enough to be surrounded with. Find out what mixture is in your dirt (cheesy eh?) that is growing your family. Decide if that is really of your doing or if there is something else in there that you would like to explore or experience. My broken record continues with we get one shot at this life, and we need to live it to the fullest with as much love as possible. Dream big and love even bigger.