Safe sex is more than just using protection.  Safe sex is also about asking the tough questions prior to being swept up in the moment.  It’s about loving your body and your safety enough to put on the brakes and ask about sexual history, STI’s and last doctor visits.  The first few times I did this I felt sheepish and nervous, but some things are just worth getting over the uncomfortable feelings for.  When I met E, the idea of being in an open relationship had me the most verbally squeamish about the idea of STI`s being brought into the equation.  Sex is not 100% safe, but there is an increased level of risk when partners are seeking sexual relationships outside of monogamy.  Nothing is or will ever be risk free, however honest communication is of paramount importance.

I can put complete trust in myself taking the time to ask the questions that I need answers to, which include the following: do you have protection? When was your last sexual partner? When was the last time you were tested? And have you ever had an STD or an STI?  These questions matter to me, and if I am not willing to ask these, then I am not of a frame of mind where consensual sex will be on the table.  As much as I would love to say that I do this to protect my partners, really the selfish reason is that I want to protect myself first and foremost.  So love yourself as much as I love myself, and be safe out there.   Use safe toys, , and be as safe and honest as you can with your partners.

Interesting article here about open relationships being STI safer than monogamous ones who cheat.