Horny, Hungry and Sleepy. I very regularly typecast the male and his desires into these three categories of fulfillment. If a partner can acknowledge these three items in all their combinations and extensions then you can keep a man happy. But in all seriousness, male identity is under fire right now. And unfortunately as a result of taking the finger pointing off of themselves (men), they point the finger at woman. It is natural, and in a simplistic way I get it. But let us take a look at what the problem really is.
Men are losing their identity, and are constantly being challenged in their tried and true roles. Men are raised to be the breadwinners, to be the strong and rational thinker. Men are taught that their penis’s are what defines their sexuality thus size and virility are of utmost importance. Society expects men to excel at math, science and sports. As much as we typecast woman, we also typecast our men. We are putting so much focus on giving woman a voice, and yet here we are trying to take the voice away from our men. Men are berated for a having a woman at home with whom they seek advice and council.
Gender roles and identities are being challenged, changed and explored at a rate comparable to our technological evolution. I hate reading about abortion, and access to birth control making the news. But in the same instance, it hurts to know that if a man has a sex toy his entire identity is challenged by those around him. Having a butt plug does not determine a man’s orientation. Watching a man cry when he is overwhelmed emotionally does not make him bisexual. When a man is not the breadwinner in his family, he is not less virile. And yet as we have raised our boys with such strong male ideals, woman rising up and challenging these roles is meeting with a lot of resistance. The stress it puts our men under is huge, and makes them fight back to regain control. I do not think that is the direction we want to be going.
I read an article in which baby girls in Saudi are encourage to wear Burkas “to protect baby girls from being sexually exploited”, the Saudi cleric said during an interview in the first week of February 2013. This is happening now, and right across the ocean from us. Men in this culture are terrified of being emasculated to such an intense extreme that they fear for the safety of their own female infants. The fear mongering going on in this culture that they fear a baby can be sexualized is beyond comprehension to me. And this is an extreme example of how the men fought back when woman started emasculating them. And in the states, to a much lesser extent but still deplorable, men continue to challenge woman’s rights to their bodies and right to choose.
I try to challenge the way we view woman, and I hope I planted the seed in how we view men as well. I was asked the other night what I find sexually attractive, and the only honest response I could give is that I find certain individuals attractive. I think the only way to to move forward is to stop putting genders into such harsh categories and start to raise our children as individuals with plentiful access to education in as many varieties as possible.