Oh my! The strange and peculiar opening lines are really coming out of the woodwork this week. Perhaps the thawing weather is playing a role, or perhaps it has just been a bit too long since I last checked my online profile. Online dating is supposed to be fun, interesting and above all a good place to meet new people. The skills in communicating online have become such an intrinsic part of how we interact in our global market that I am baffled at a few of the recent messages I have gotten. I am not sure if so many people just ignore messages, that the new goal is just to illicit a response no matter if it is positive or negative. Or that people are just plain bad at communicating what they want, and in choosing the correct methods to get it. As always, these are actual messages, I would not dream of making any of this up.
As I mentioned in my previous post I think displaying a bit of intellect is a good first sign. Having the skills to hold a genuine conversation is very important to me. The art of conversation is not a skill that I think the writer of the below message excels at: “Hey there…you seem kind of cool…and yeah, you heard me…I do mean just kinda cool 😉 By the way…I am very competitive … what do you get competitive about? I love playing pool … I usually even make wagers … I’d be willing to bet a pair of shoes on it 🙂 Anyway…since I’ve read your profile, sent you a message, now I will go back and click “meet me” just because I can :-p”. My guess was high school education, no car, and at least one picture with his shirt off while covering his face with sunglasses. Turns out he had a really nice looking shiny sports car, or at least himself in front of one.
The next one to highlight for my dear readers is the art of creeping me out. Some people just give off a slight weird guy vibe, this message however took that to a whole new level of discomfort: “Not that you’ll believe me but I would love to encourage you to take part in som e amazing cuddling and that’s it if your comfortable with more then one cuddling event I think we might have a good base for a date!” This guys per-requisite to go on date with him is to first experience him with what I will assume is with a bunch of other guys in a cuddle party. I actually saw a post a few months ago on Kijiji advertising that the cuddle party that was planned was severely lacking in woman, and was seeking woman of any age, size and to not worry, the clothes would not come off. I try to be accepting of all lifestyles, but cuddle parties and furries really creep me out.
And finally a message that far out does the others in making me speechless, therefore no additional introduction will I give.
“ My message may sound different but I really felt I can give it a try…
Actually i am new on here,also rarely log on here and i feel lucky i saw your amazing photo and checked your profile,your profile is really inspiring
i choosed to be honest and direct with you ,nothing to loose so i hope you appreciate my honesty and you will not misjudge me…
I am wondering if you are a dominant strong confident lady and if you would ever consider having a personal slave for real…r u dominant as you look?
I dont expect a reply but i know i will be luck if you did
Wish to hear back from you”
Men, please oh please if you want decent woman to be on dating sites, help a brother out and call them an idiot for sending messages like these. There are only so many messages that any given person can nervously laugh off and or delete before wondering if all the crazies are online. It makes me almost wish I received messages like this “So why u read so much? U should go out more”, as one lady lamented to me on twitter from her previous online dating days.
And then after all of that I finally received a real and genuine message that I had to do a double take.
I actually created my profile so I could send you a note. How’s that for effort?
You seem very cool. Very pretty, fit, tall. All things I like. I’m plenty tall enough for you to wear your heals. What do you do to stay fit? I like the gym. A little crossfit and traditional weight lifting. I might do the color me rad run this summer even though I’m not much of a runner.
What else would you like to know about me?
What else can you tell me about you?”
This message was simple, sweet, and thoughtful. I bet this guy is going to be getting more dates out of his effort than all the guys in my past two posts combined. I hope I have not scared any of you fine ladies from online dating, I mean you already know what the worst out there looks like. You can now laugh it off and go and find that person that you actually click with.