Ignoring the Girl in a Relationship

I have always been confused by the men who refuse to hang out with me or want to wait to get to know me until I am single.  I have difficulty comprehending the logic behind a man ignoring me while I am in a relationship and then pouncing when I am single.  What message are you portraying?  That a woman is only worth your time if she is single?  Are you surrounded by only friends of the same gender?  That sounds so boring, and offers you a very one sided perspective on the world.  Perhaps you have been friend zoned once or twice and believe the myth that you can never leave the friend zone once you enter.  The hint in that last sentence was the word myth…but I will save that for a different post.
If the message you would like me to extract from this type of behaviour, is that I am only fuckable, well then I am flattered.  And you will never get in my pants.  Being in an open relationship, you would deduce that this would be the perfect opportunity to try an only screw me, and yet dear guy, that is also not the case adding to my puzzlement.  This sort of mindset could be part of a bigger problem,and that I predict relates directly to a lower than average success rate in you getting laid in general.  It turns out that if a woman is seeking more than just a one time fling, sex is much more satisfying mentally and physically if there is a bit of history created.  We like to know a bit about the guy that is going to try and stick something in us.  Call us crazy if you will.  If you would like a stat to give you a better frame of reference, there are a bunch of guys whose sole goal in life was getting laid, and they said the magic number was 7.  Yes, 7 hours of time spent with a woman would result in giving a guy the best shot at getting in her pants.  Whether you agree with this or not, the point is, it takes more than a few exchanged pleasantries to establish yourself enough to become intimate.

And my final speculation on the matter, is that you are just plain insecure.  Whether the insecurities lead you to be jealous, depressed, self conscious or a whole heap of other emotional ailments, please keep your distance.  I do not accept that sort of drama in myself, so clearly, I would not entertain that from a partner. I work hard to self reflect on the cause and effect of every negative emotion I have, especially when it affects those around me, and I can only imagine a world where everyone did the same.  I am not your personal therapist, or self esteem coach.  Men often remark on how important self confidence is in a woman, so it should be no wonder that woman would feel that trait is important in her mate too.  I am not asking you to pretend to be interested in me, quite the contrary.  Figure out why a person is only worth getting to know if they are single, what in your mind changes about that person.  If they are not worth your time while they are partnered up, then I have troubles understanding why that changes when they are free.  Thoughts and perspectives are always appreciated.

5 thoughts on “Ignoring the Girl in a Relationship”

  1. Being a guy, in a healthy marriage, I must say that I agree with with you on the idea of a guy who changes the way he acts/treats you just because he doesn't foresee a chance of sleeping with you in the possible future. However, I did notice the drastic change in form on your blog from this post to many/most of the posts you have previously made. Typically, they are in-depth analysis of observations and real life experiences that try to explain why the general population is the way they are in today's society. However, this post seemed much more of a indirect rant towards a certain individual, or possibly even a very small and select group of individuals. It seemed quite apparent that something is bothering you more then normal, and I hope things work out!

  2. I am so excited to have a happily married guy reading my blog!

    And yes, from time to time I am left speechless and confused to the behavior of those around me. I try to keep my rants to a minimum, however in this case, it felt good to let out something that has bothered me for years. And with that said, I still have no good introspective to the rhyme or reason behind this sort of behavior other than I do not like it.

  3. what the hell are you going on about, you crazy bent?

    "…confused by the men…" Are you really having this type of interaction with several upon several men? Or are you just creating strawmen from an interaction with one person who doesn't find you redeeming save for your fuckabiltiy?

    I find it ironic that you seem to be posting a rant against "the men" who do not want to take the time to get to know you along side a sexually suggestive photo of yourself that portrays you as an object whose value is only in her pants. That is irony, right? Dammit… I always get mixed up on that term… I need to go listen to some Alanis Morissette now.

  4. I won't remove your comment as I encourage all different opinions and perspectives. It is was drives us forward and causes us to question the things around us, making changes if necessary. With that being said, by starting out with name calling, has diminished the validity of your viewpoint and while I am glad you had such an emotional response, I will not post a rebuttal, just the post that I wrote to explain why I now post pictures http://k-ghislaine.blogspot.ca/2013/10/comfortable-naked.html.

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