I have been going through the motions these past through months of being overwhelmed to the point of tears, followed by this strange sense of satisfaction at just how lucky I am to have everything that I do in my life. I began a new career earlier this year and the transition has definitely taken its toll on my emotional, and physical self.
I allowed myself 3 months to get saturated in the role that could very well dictate how I earn a living for the rest of my life, and well, writing this blog had to take a back seat for a little while. In saying that, I could not have timed things better, and by that I mean, letting go of an emotional burden that had been with me for years. Honestly, not having the burden of trying to please unappeasable parents was the saving grace that allowed me to focus on my wants and needs over this new year. And to ensure that I was making a choice for my future, with my well being as my sole consideration.
I have some pretty big goals for the future, and it seems that I always made choices around family. This time, I made a decision for me, that would make my future bright, which would result in better things for me and my partner down the road, rather than making the choice for him and I in the present that would make us more comfortable now. I know that may not sound clear, because there are a lot of complicated emotions tied up in that one little statement. I have always tried to make room for my family in my life choices, which has caused me to make shorter term choices with lots of flexibility so I could be there for those in my life that I love, whenever they needed me. This was a tough decision, because I am now locked in. I gave up any and all flexibility and now have a strong path, that I cannot turn away from or just give up if my partner gets an opportunity elsewhere. It was the right move, plain and simple. Just not one, that I would have had the confidence to have made 5 years ago.
So in summary, my three months of sink or swim at work are over, (I think I just may be a swimmer) and I will get back to posting regularly. Thanks to all of you who checked in on me during the lull. And thanks truly to all those who continued to look through some older posts even though there was no new content for a while. I am back, energized, and have some great material in the works. Oh, and in case any of you were wondering, I am now a machinist and run a few wire EDM machines. I get to actually write a program, imput it into a machine and physically create something when I am done! It is tough work, but so far incredibly rewarding.