I have just reached and celebrated the ripe age of 31. As many of you know, I get very reflecting during birthday season. It is more important to me than new years, as I recognize it as my personal date of looking backwards and planning frontwards. This year, I acted on a very important decision that I have made in years past. And that is beginning the journey of looking for partners to join E and I. It is one thing to talk about it, to plan for it, and get on the same page. It is quite another to actually put yourself out there as dating and proud, together.
E see’s my nervousness for what it is, and that is truly remarkable. I have the butterflies, and antsy feeling. And what is super cool about that is, I can share every step with my partner. It is not a fearful dating on your own, filled with apprehension knowing the letdowns that are not far off into the distance. Instead it is replaced with excitement, challenges and true connections. First and foremost with my partner, and then exploring what spice is out there. Expanding our love beyond just our little family.
Now I know I am excited, nervous and a little scared about this new adventure so we decided to be transparent in our profiles to ensure that we can help each other find the best we can. And of course, the first thing that I have learned in this online process is that many guys do not actually read profiles. Here is a little sample of the kind of conversations that I have encountered. This began after I asked if he had actually read my profile before messaging me, and he learnt that it was my boyfriend in my profile picture and we were looking to date someone or a couple together.
Guy –“Ohhh. Nope, that’s kinda gross. Good luck!”
Me –“I can see how you would think reading is gross as is evident by your ignorance and quick judgement.”
Guy –“No no. Reading is good. And i do know you’re a good person due to the fact that we’ve spoken off and on for a couple years now and i’m a good judge of charactor. The gross part i’m referring to is when people have to go outside of a relationship to satisfy one or both partners physical needs. Just my opinion. Not being judgemental, but when i’m in a commited relationship, there’s no need to have to share to satisfy any of ‘those’ needs”
Me –“You don’t think saying “that’s kinda gross” is being judgemental?
I am not looking for a FWB or anything along those lines. I am looking to expand my love in all forms with my partner. We are both physically satisfied. We also know that we both enjoy a little “spice” from time to time and that comes in the form of new people. We both agree that doing it together will be exciting and fun.
While I understand the notion that one man can completely satisfy one woman or any gender combinations there in, I would simply say that in a long term relationship, it doesn’t feel right to me. I love flirting, variety, and being supported and fulfilled body and soul by my partner. I subscribe to the idea that I can have my cake and eat it too. “
Dealing with online trolls and people who just cannot be curious without being an ass is part of being in the online community. As I have said before, I do often forget that. I hope that over the next year and beyond there will be a few wonderful stories to share with you all. A few funny moments, and some real sexy adventures. In the meantime, let the online dating challenge begin.