Online dating has been and remains a large part of how I find new people to interact with. I have been using various sites for over 8 years, and while I have changed what I am looking for (couples only at the moment) I have created for myself a list of Do’s and Don’t s. Now I acknowledge I can be a little on the picky side, however I have 3 fundamental items that time and time again I will not waver on.
1. Do NOT send a dick picture when online dating…EVER! This rule is hard and fast without any exceptions. Do not have one in your profile, and do not use your dick as an ice breaker or conversation piece EVER! No one wants to see your random junk. And I like many out there have written a piece or too begging guys to stop this deviant and deplorable behavior, so if you still don’t understand please read this for further insight. (Please note that I love the cock and I appreciate seeing it within the bounds of my relationship. This advice is for online dating and is to be applied until you are in a relationship or have been explicitly asked for one, and even then, I would double check prior to sending a photo of your dick!)
2. I want to see your eyes in at least one photo. If you have your eyes covered in every single photo I will never meet you, EVER. This is a lesson that I have learned via trial and error. I have given a few guys the benefit of the doubt over the years and have always come home disappointed. Eyes are the most important image to have on your profile, and I have talked to numerous people of all genders and looking for statuses who say the same. Eyes tell a lot about a person and I want to see them before I start chatting and long before I sit down to coffee or a beer.
3. Please for the love of my sanity do NOT have your children, or any child in your profile picture. I don’t care if you are holding them or if they are so adorable that you feature them with you off in the background. Whatever your intent, it is a bad idea. Online dating is for adults. Your children did not give consent to help you get laid, and I could go on and on about the creep factors associated with this particular picture choice. No matter how important they are in your life, online dating is about you and meeting another person. You would never bring a kid on a first date, so do not use them lure someone in. Just, stop it!
Now here is where I need your help readers. My title for this post says top 5, and I have only written 3. I want to hear from you, your must haves, complete hates, whatever is most important to you in the world of online dating. You can tweet me, @K_Ghislaine, DM me, facebook msg, comment on the bottom of this post or even text me your suggestions (if you know me), that one thing that you will not sway on. I will update this post accordingly and the intention is to improve peoples online dating success!
I have a few suggestions to help get the juices flowing, from not having a profile picture at all, or perhaps you are tired of seeing all those damn dead fish shots. Either way, I would love to hear from you to help me finish this list!
***Thank you for the feedback! And without further ado, may I present number 4 and 5 for the completion of the do and do not online dating list***
4. Cropping out your ex or scribbling out her face is bad form. Do not do this! If your best picture is of you with your ex, pick up that handy little cell phone in your pocket and take a new one. Better yet, take a shower, get dressed up and get a friend to take a brand spanking new photo of you. But do not have a photo where we can see a ladies arm, or some crappy smiley face pasted over your old partners face. You can do better!
5. Group shots as your profile picture is one of the worst ideas to use. Here’s what happens when I see this. I guess who you are, then I scroll to the next photo, and see yet another group shot. So I guess again and then I scroll only to finally see who you are. And low and behold I am disappointed. Either I guessed wrong, and I dislike losing. Or I see who you are and I am not impressed because my time has been wasted. Is our first meeting going to be with a group of your bros? No? Then put your own photo up first. Do not waste my energy guessing who you are. It won’t end well for you, or increase your status. And really ladies, I must pick on you here too. Your group shots are far worse than any I have seen on a man’s profile. And did you get permission from every lady in the group to post that ridiculous shot of you having so much fun that one time 10 years ago at the club? No? Then just take it down!
And an honorable mention goes to snap chat or filters. It should go without saying that we wanna see you. Not some adorable faun with bubbles that looks oh so delicious. It’s lame and makes you look incredibly immature and just tad dumb. So, be real. Be authentic. And ask yourself how you would react to the photo’s you put up before you activate your profile. Would you want to meet you?
*** Now offering One on One dating coaching in YYC, click here for details and rates***
1. Full body pic. Learned the hard way. I'd she only shows face pics from one angle, she's (ahem) heavier than she leads on. We all have our tastes, don't waste our time being deceptive. That's an awkward and frustrating thing to show up to on a first date.
2. A pic of just you. Don't make me play detective to figure out who you are by having all your profile pics of you in groups.
3. Variety. Chances are you're as boring as your selfies imply if you only post selfies framed the same way.
4. No snapchat filters. Grow up.
5. Dirty mirror/bathroom selfies. Just. Stop.
My blog is not a place to use as a dating or meetup app. Please note, I will be removing this comment.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
This list is fantastic! Thank you!
Not the same anonymous 😉 for point number one about not having a full body pic. It's not necessarily the fact that they may be heavier but to me it means they are not confident or comfortable with their body so they don't post a pic with it. For me it's a real positive or even turn on that they are comfortable with their body!
That is an excellent way of looking at it too! Confidence is super sexy, whatever you look like! Those who hide to much make me question if they are ok with themselves, which in turn makes me question if they are ok to date.
All these seem to be common sense, well except the eyes one, and it still blows my mind that number 1 is something people need to be told even once let alone repeatedly!
And I agree with your other commenter, the high angle face only selfie is my biggest petpeeve with profile pictures, as it both portrays low confidence, as well as a feeling of "trying to put one past" the viewer.
Thanks For posting 😀
I wonder if the high angle face is more gender specific as I don't run into it from men or women seeking women (the two main categories I frequent most often). But yes, low confidence, no matter how it is portrayed is always a deal breaker.
Thanks for your input!