And yet this was probably not one of my most well thought out plans. The fantasy of being in a secluded campground, four people, naked and sweaty in a tent made for 8, I had all the ingredients for sexy times ahead. We had the whole thing planned, hike in the mountains, then throw some disk golf and finish the flirting with a bbq and some beers. The tent filled with air mattresses and pillows would look so inviting that things should start picking up right after a few bites. I even considered that because we were already hot and sweaty from being outdoors, that the smooth transition to the tent activities would be even easier. And I was so wrong!
It’s funny how being hot and sweaty with your partner can be a huge turn-on, but expecting the same from 2 new people that you have not yet seen naked, well not so much. You see, it brings out a bunch of insecurities and awkwardness. And for me, the biggest turn off, is the smells. The last thing I want to think about when getting it on with a new person is “Eep! I am not fresh as a daisy”. I don’t want to have to pull a hand away from an area, or prevent a face from going down, because I cannot honestly remember the last time I scrubbed. Or the prickles. I stopped waxing years ago, so I am at the mercy of a razor, and now I have 2 days maximum without a quick trim. And without it that stubble is rough! There is something so seductive about sliding a hand on a smooth leg, rather than a prickly minefield that may or may not be caked on with bug spray.
Speaking of bugs, have any of you had the pleasure of a mosquito bite in your butt crack? Well I do now. It’s one of the dangers of peeing in the woods as a girl I suppose. The pants have to come down far enough to expose the tushie and long enough that those little brats can be in and out before your even finished peeing. I can only imagine that conversation. A new hand exploring all the little cracks and crevices of your body and then a hand runs over what should be a smooth area, and boom, not only do they feel an unexpected bump that you assured them shouldn’t be there, but now you have to stop things to scratch. Yup, in the middle of foreplay, you pause and are just laying there scratching your butt. What a turn on!
Yes, we did originally plan on heading to the showers right after disk golf to freshen up. But camping has a mind of its own. We all decided to skip the disk golf and go straight for the BBQ. You are relaxed, want to do as little driving as possible and quite honestly once the first beer can is opened it becomes rather difficult to say, “let’s all stop at one, so we are sober enough to drive 20 minutes away to hop in the showers”. And then drive all the way back to the camp ground to resume the flirting. Everything seems like it is in slow motion, that you have all the time in the world, and you just enjoy the moment. You forget responsibilities like pets waiting at home, water intake and of course hygiene.
So here I was, thinking about the view, the seclusion and the amazing sex in the woods story that would result from inviting a new couple to meet us for some camping fun. But instead, we just had the vanilla camping experience. We all laughed, drank some beer and agreed to reschedule in the city, at their home, after we were all showered, shaved and smelling our best. Here’s hoping a much hotter story will be coming out soon…