In light of my recent posts on swinging I have been getting quite a few newbies, ok, just very curious singles males looking for a little insight into the lifestyle. After thinking long and hard about all the keen men wanting to see what swinging really is like, and asking me for tips to get inside one, I decided to write this little post. And you’re probably not going to like it. If you are a single man, I don’t want to help you get into the swinging scene, period. I don’t want to be responsible for you or your newly discovered fantasy. And I don’t want to create a place that gives you insight and confidence to come on your own, and satisfy your passing curiosity into the lifestyle that I have come to really enjoy.
Why, you might ask yourself? Simply put, because a bunch of lurking single men will ruin everything I love about the lifestyle! Sorry, not sorry! If you are looking for easy access, I firmly say no. Instead, I want men who have done their research because this is something they have been interested in for a while, let’s say more than a trifling fancy. They have strong communication skills, can write their application on their own, and have a healthy respect for the word no. They have worked on their social skills, have some charm, love to flirt, and maybe a little devious. Oh, and they have a partner.
Swinging is about couples (I don’t care what gender), nudity, and of course sex. Oh, and if you haven’t heard, it’s about strengthening a healthy relationship or adding some amazing spice. It is not a lifestyle that flourishes with single men who are looking for a live porn show. Or have heard rumors that it is one big orgy and they just have to see it in person!
Now, if you have been reading my blog for a while you might be calling me out for hypocrisy in direct reference to a post I wrote about single women. And while I try to be more sympathetic and educate myself to the currently evolving gender norms I don’t believe that the average man wants to experience a swing club for the reasons that I encourage woman to do so. Women are beautiful creatures, and typically are more emotionally mature than men are. So, a couple will have less to worry about with a group of women watching them sex it up, than a group of men. I have no gender bias as far as couples, but I fully admit I have a strong one when it comes to singles, and for me, it’s women only.
Swing clubs thrive on reputation, and great word of mouth. They cannot just advertise on a big billboard and have large neon signs as normal bars can. So, ensuring that a couple has an amazing time is important. The party organizers want you to come back. They want you to use the venue to set up future dates, and invite new swinger friends to come and play there. So, if a club gets a vibe for being seedy, dirty or filled with a bunch of dicks it will falter, quickly. It is risky business and probably would have a difficult time re-branding itself if it took a path not conducive to the average swinging clientele. If a vanilla nightclub gets a reputation for being a meat market, then they start advertising their butts off to get the ladies back. Meat markets are not inviting places to mingle, socialize and flirt. A swingers, club would drown before they even had the chance to re-brand.
Again, I know how sexist this post is coming across. I love men and I do love dicks, as evidence by the huge prideful grin in this posts photo! And my first time at a swing club was on a night that allowed single men. But I quickly realized that the line between creepy and sexy is just too fine. I want to be comfortable and sexually free. I do not want to worry about giving the wrong impression or having to refrain from dancing with my panties off on top of a bar (have you read that post yet?). So, I now only attend nights that are for couples and single ladies. There is nothing more uncomfortable than some slimy dude walking around with dick in hand, giving it a tug with each new view he sees. And the men who lose control and shamelessly wank it, have ruined it for many in the community. Women do not regard this behavior as a friendly hello or an approval of their sexy performance. Instead it is viewed as intrusive, lacking decency and void of all permissions. Many clubs have couples only areas for this very reason. Men, you don’t always use your best judgement when the blood flows away from your top brain. It’s not your fault per se, but it is a reality that hard lines and rules have had to be put in place to keep the clientele coming back.
So, I’m sorry, but until you can be trusted it is a no go for single men new to the lifestyle. Put your time in. Do your own research. Find a female friend to go with. And dip your toes in with an appreciation for this couples focused, and incredibly sexy scene. And stop freaking asking me to vouch for you!
Want to be part of the dialogue? Consider joining my Patreon page!