Escorts at Swinger or Lifestyle Clubs

So apparently there is a term called “tickets” used for escorts that are invited/paid for by single men to get into lifestyle clubs.  And yes, if you’re a regular reader the timing of this post in relation to my last one is not lost on me.  Overall, I am an incredibly open-minded person, however I keep running into ideas and concepts that make me question just how accepting I really am.  I guess that’s why I blog, and keep questioning everything right?  So back to paying someone to get you into a club!

I have used the term pay for play quite frequently throughout my writing career and general advice to my clients whenever the need arises.  And I mean no disrespect to anyone, it just feels all encompassing and to me has little emotion or stigma attached.  I wish that sex workers were legally allowed to practice their trades for safety, and economic reasons.  Sex work is the oldest profession and it should be taxable and all its members protected under the law.

Now, with that said, I will come right out and say, just like single men, I do not believe that escorts or anyone who gets paid for sex should be welcome in the swinger community.  There are a number of reasons.  First and foremost, swinging requires work, communication and a solid foundation.  As well, trust and disclosure.  These are things inherently missing in sex work.  Even if legalized, there is more to gain for a working guy or gal from non-disclosure than from disclosing.  Livelihood is on the line, and it is unrealistic to think a person will stop working while waiting for a test result, etc.  We have to be practical about this.  Even a sex worker who is incredibly safe, and gets tested regularly still has to endure a slow health care system, with even slower results.  So in such a tight knit community that unfortunately relies on many assumptions about safe sex, and disclosure, these economic and physical demands unnecessarily increase risk.

The next point is in regards to consent.  In what way does that even work?  A male is most likely paying for a woman’s services for the evening.  Is he also paying for her to sleep with anyone else?  Who gets the bill in the wake of a foursome or swap?  There are finances on the line.  And legal issues to boot.  Within most swing clubs there can be no cash exchange in return for services.  Whatever my views on a future of legalized prostitution we are just not there yet.  So paying for sex is illegal.  Imagine not knowing someone was paid for sex and having that come out in the wake of a bust or exposure?  Again, unnecessary drama and decrease in fun overall.

Now lets get into motivation.  Is the man simply a single, who has always wanted to see the inner workings of a swing club?  Does he think he just found the golden “ticket” to get him inside?  If so, please refer to my previous post about why single men at swing clubs suck.  As much as exhibitionism exists, I may or may not know that first hand, I do not want outsiders thinking they can pay for the privilege of watching someone get their rocks off.  That’s what porn is for.  You are confusing live, non-consenting adults with paid professionals and that is never cool.  I don’t attend clubs for the public’s consumption.  I attend because I love being around like minded, non-monogamous, open and amazing people, who not to repeat myself, but have put in the work to be there.  They didn’t find this little loophole, a sneaky entrance, and the ultimate manipulation.

So in summary, if you think bringing a sex worker to the club is clever it’s not.  Swingers can tell!  You will not be invited back, regardless of how well behaved you are, or how much research you feel you have done.  Strong, stable, secure couples are hot.  A single man with his paid escort is not.  You put us physically, financially and emotionally at risk.  So don’t be that ass hole!  Consent in a swing club encompasses much more than just sex.  There is enough for us to have to trust in, do add to the burden for your selfish motives.  Besides, if you do it, you still won’t be able to brag to your friends afterwards so really, what’s the point?

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5 thoughts on “Escorts at Swinger or Lifestyle Clubs”

  1. I'm an escort and about twice a year I visit swinger's clubs to live out fantasies. I don't tell anyone what I do because of stigma, just like this article. I feel a bit offended. Why can't the lifestyle be for everyone regardless of our occupation?

  2. I think you have missed the point. You as a civilian, go to swing clubs to live out fantasies, and that's a major draw. I was trying to articulate the fact that finding someone brought a paid for play individual takes away an element of consent and openness. Clubs are not for working, ie escorts, drug dealers, undercover cops, therapists… I could go on and on. And for the record, the club I go to has strippers and escorts who attend and there is no stigma at all. They are there to have fun, and are not working or being paid to be there. The key difference.

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