Never Have I Ever

It’s remarkable the changes that can happen in just a few years and the little things that most poignantly display that contrast between who you were and who you now are.  Never Have I Ever is a drinking game, whereby you drink to admit to all the things you have done in your life that the speaker has not.  You go around in a circle, learning all the little dirty secrets of your friends via shot guzzling admission.  And when I first played the game in my late teens I hated it.  Everyone around me was getting drunk, admitting to wild and crazy fun and there I was just sitting sipping my beer and lamenting my choices.  It was a game that made me feel like a prude.  And all I was left with, was being the sober one to clean up all the messes from the guys who got sloppy.  I’m confident that many were lying but that is beside the point.  Even the “Never Have I Ever” statements they came up with were more interesting than what I felt I had accomplished or experienced.

In summation, my life was lame!

Flash forward to a decade and half later, and I am on the complete opposite end of the spectrum.  Whereby I don’t think I can safely survive playing that game now!  And please don’t get me wrong, this is not a humble brag.  In fact, I’m not sure that I can take credit for instigating even half of my amazing experiences over the past 8 years.  The responsibility for me exploring outside of my safe shell lies almost entirely with my partner.  His sense of adventure.  His lust for almost never saying no, and the overall quest to live life to the fullest and actually experience living has brought me to a place where I never expected to be (see what I did there?).

But this blog isn’t about him, it’s about me.

My exploration of non-monogamy has left me unable to safely play drinking games that involve sexual exploits.  I know, what a terrible problem to have.  But the last time I played it was almost embarrassing.  Never have I ever had a threesome… drink.  Had a foursome… drink.  Gone to a swing club… drink.  Got naked in public… drink.  Flashed a stranger… drink.  Sex in public… drink.  And now that I can’t stand up because I am so intoxicated, everyone is staring at me wondering, who is this average looking girl in our midst?  She seemed normal enough.  Does she live some sort of double life?  Is she lying?  Look at how red her face is!  Maybe she doesn’t know how the game works and thought she was supposed to drink every time she agreed with the never have I ever statement…. Hmmmm!

Over the past little while, while doing some soul searching and research for my first book, I find myself laughing quite frequently at where I am right now in life.  19 year old me would be shocked, and maybe a little horrified to know that Never Have I Ever is now a game my liver is terrified of.  And while that may seem like a silly, or minute example to you, in my mind it’s the perfect description of my complete 180.  It’s like I have shed the skin of the shy, timid, prude of the past, and am now looking in the mirror at a whole new me.  A sexy, confident, sex positive force to be reckoned with (well with enough liquid courage, some things haven’t changed that much!).   So farewell, to the drinking games of my past, and perhaps a hello there, to the Twister of my future?

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