Dick Pics and Liars

No matter how loud we shout, the dick pictures still get sent.

I don’t think there is a female blogger (or writer in general with social media) out there regardless of her subject matter, who has not written something about hating dick pictures.  We, collectively, have tried raging, raving, shaming, blocking, reporting, and basically pleading to anyone who will give us an ear to please, end the appearance of dicks in our inboxes, e-mails, DM’s, PM’s etc.  The bottom line is we are sick and tired of them.  I wrote a post called Dear Random Penis in my first few years of blogging and it remained my highest views post for years.  I personally had tried all of the about to make the pictures stop, but sadly there was just nothing I could do.  And for a while I was left with this feeling that I must be bringing it upon myself because of the subject matter of my blog and the pictures I shared. And let me just say, that I am disgusted and horrified, that I have ever felt that way. 

I was so angry in fact, and so sick and tired of the constant barrage of non-consent based nudity that I actually change my own tactics.  I stopped posting naked or riske pictures of myself on my blog, choosing instead to move them over to a subscription based site here.  And I cannot even tell you how much it pained me to do that.  I love freedom of expression, but I was just sick and tired of constantly being angry, outraged, horrified, or just disgusted by the sight of a strangers penis.

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And what’s worse, I started to hate seeing dicks of my own choosing, and even switched up my porn viewing a little bit.  I was over saturated and resentful.  Since shifting the photo’s on my blog, I have actually noticed a huge reduction of dick pictures.  Which makes me worry that I may have been right.  Were men really thinking that the whole you showed me yours, so I’m going to show you mine mentality was acceptable? 

And what’s equally troubling, is that every time I see a person complain about a random nude picture in their DM’s, the comment sections ramp up with men acting horrified, and publicly shaming these poor individuals.  In fact it is so rampant, that I have even seen a guy who sent me a dick pic (with whom I shamed mercilessly over private message) join the bandwagon, shouting shame and slander, even going so far as to say “men who do that are scum and should be reported, shame on him.  That’s gross, and I am here if you ever need to talk”.  Yes, that is in quotes for a reason and I had more than one of those to choose from. 

I don’t know what it is going to take to men stop doing this abhorrent behaviour.  I know what steps I have taken to minimize it, and help me go back to loving the naked male form again.  But while I found a bandaid fix, this is obviously not a solution. 

So guys, tell me, what will it take to make you stop?  What can women do to prove that we don’t want to see your naked member unless we ask?  Why do you think that a 1 in 9999999999 chance of it working is a statistical probability that you are willing to side with?  When will it end?  Because honestly, you are ruining freedom of expression, sex and the body positivity that the non-consenting recipient is trying to strive for.  

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2 thoughts on “Dick Pics and Liars”

  1. These kinds of posts always make me sad. I hate that it has become so common on the internet that it’s almost accepted.

    I wish I had an answer but really just don’t know. Personally we can (and should) be impressing on our sons the importance of consent in all things and arming them with more appropriate methods of interaction.

    For now at least I will be continuing to heap shame and scorn upon those that do it.

    1. I go the other direction and try to understand why they do it. I waste hours researching, reading books, and anything I can to educate myself on the why of it all. And then I am left with this horrible conundrum of not wanting to share this research because I don’t want to validate or re-enforce the behavior. So I just sit on what feels like useless knowledge.

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