Non-Monogamous Urban Myths

My Pink Flamingo!

When you have a society that deems sex as taboo or negative in general, people find some pretty clever ways to come out to each other on the down low.  As you may have read in my post about Re-branding the term swingers, I talked about key parties, shag carpets, and the ways media has branded the swinger.  Now let’s talk about a few of the more common swinger myths. And a huge thanks to @yycjfl_yycguy for being brave enough to ask “what is with the pineapple, flamingo, and gnome in the lifestyle.”  So without further ado, let’s talk about some of the myths and tricks to spot a fellow non-monogamous person in the wild!

Pineapple

First up, is the pineapple.  Legend has it, that if you are grocery shopping and you are looking to get a few new sexy folks to join you for that evening’s fondue, you would put a pineapple upside down in the top part of your shopping cart.  This would be a clear sign to swingers that you and your spouse were looking to get some strange that night and to come on over!  Hot tub and sexy times were sure to follow for those special people who were in the know.

Flamingo

Second, the flamingo.  Often we see people celebrating an over the hill birthday party get inundated with 40 pink flamingos in their yard as a special shout out from their nearest and dearest.  But what about that lonely solo flamingo?  Is he there just a constant reminder that you are getting older and wiser day by day?  Maybe not.  In the world of the non-monogamous, this could be a sign that a swinger does in fact live here.  Doesn’t it have a nice ring?  Pink flamingo and ready to mingle?   I think so!

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Gnome

Third, the gnome.  This creepy little yard ornament has for a long time been the antique collectors pokemon go.  Gotta collect them all!  But for a few subdivisions in the states, having a gnome on your front porch is a signal to neighbors that swingers are willing and waiting inside.  While this does not seem to be one of the universal signs, it is one the stranger ones for me, as I struggle to wrap my brain around one of those weirdly shaped statues representing a callout for sexy times, but that could just be me.

Black Ring

Fourth, the black ring.  Now this started as an urban myth, and has actually gained quite a bit of popularity in the last few years.  So much so, that a few companies are now selling black couples rings to be worn on the right hand to signify a non-monogamous pairing.  This is a growing trend, and one still has to be a little weary as many industrial industries require black silicon rings for safety rather than metal to be worn.  So you might not want to approach under the assumption that just because it’s black, in means they are… well… I cannot come up with a catchy rhyme right now, but you get the idea.

Overall, I think these little myths and legends are a lot of fun to think about, and play around with.  But as always, you must tread lightly, because more often then not, these are just myths.  And while we try very hard to signal our sexy intent out in the wild, these are not universally known and could get you into heaps of trouble if done incorrectly.  Or perhaps that’s just the cautionary voice in me speaking out.  Maybe it’s time to just throw caution to the wind and display that cute pink flamingo, standing beside a garden gnome, with my upside down pineapple welcome mat, and the garage door open just a crack and a paper bag with a tea light in it… and OK, I could go on and on here with all the various myths and legends I have heard.  The best way to find someone?  Join a facebook group, check out a local swingers club, or find a non-monogamous social or munch.  The best way after all will always be face to face!  Happy hunting!

Do you have a fun myth you would like included in this list?  Share in the comments section, or reach out via twitter!

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2 thoughts on “Non-Monogamous Urban Myths”

  1. And what about the very real dangers that some of us face for practicing our non-monogamy? Bisexuals, trans people, black women, the neurodiverse and those with disabilities like me are more likely to commit suicide, to be killed, and to be attacked.

    1. I am not sure what you are referring to as far as myths. Are you for these subtle clues as a way to protect these groups or are you looking for a comment as to how dangerous practicing non-monogamy can be for people, especially those groups that have multiple facets of judgement to deal with?

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