If you search for blogs discussing sex myths, you are going to find a tonne of them. Some that you may laugh, cringe, cry, or even, dare I say, learn something from? In this post I would like to focus on a few that personally had an effect on my sex life. And why, I always try and push for better sexual education and open and honest, consent first, discussions when it comes to sex. Some myths cause far more harm than others but the fact remains all of these sex myths impacted my path to being sex positive.
Myth 1: You can tell a woman is ready by how wet she is
A woman shows she’s ready for sex by being wet enough for immediate penetration. While physiologically, yes, this may happen, there were numerous times in my world of monogamy where I wanted a quickie and was not quite wet. The man I was sleeping with would grow concerned that I just didn’t want it, based on my level of self lubrication. And would either be turned off, or try and get me wet (so I guess that’s a plus?). The thing was, he believed my bodies response, over my words as a direct result of this myth. Obviously this made a huge impact on my views of my body, and I would try and pre-game so to speak to ensure I was always wet enough for sex. All I can say to this, is I now have a container of lube on every level of my house, and is always a part of my sex purse. Why? Because lube (affiliate link to my favorite lube) is awesome and this myth is crazy.
Myth 2: Anal sex makes you cool
In this one, I am going to lump a whole bunch of anal misconceptions that I have into one paragraph with the disclaimer that I was very ill informed about anal sex right from the get go, and basically had zero business doing it, or talking about it. I could blame my catholic school girl sex education, porn, or the internet in general for the misinformation, but I think it is better to just dispel this myth altogether and all the variations that go along with it.
- Once you warm up the first time, you shouldn’t have to spend as much time warming up the next.
- The type or quality of the lube does not matter, it’s all about the volume of it.
- Having sex in the butt is the ultimate way to show your man that you love him.
- You are super bad ass and sexy as fuck if you do it in the butt. That’s what bad girls do, and the taboo makes you hella cool.
A quick summary on this one, yes, I at one time or another was exposed and believed these myths to be true. As a result, I am still anal sex conflicted and did spend a significant amount of time healing from a very bad experience.
Myth 3: A woman can only orgasm from one body part
Now this one, is a bit of a gray area for me. I remember watching the Friends episode that discussed all the different erogenous zones, and while TV shouldn’t be the way people form their base sexual education, the reality is that it happens all the time. So, I was fully aware that women could get sexual pleasure from more than one place. With that being said, the episode did focus on the big finale, so I for a long time equated all my erogenous zones with being part of the fourplay. It wasn’t until much later in life that I embraced the fact that I can have a pretty amazing orgasm just from having my breasts sucked in a certain way and that it doesn’t always have to peak with PIV (penis in vagina) sex. The reason I include this one in my list of myths that affected me, is due to the fact that I have had more conversations than I can count with men absolutely mystified by this little tidbit. No, I am not some magical, sexual anomaly. In fact, I think if more people understood that sex and orgasms are much for fluid in nature for woman, sex in general would improve for many.