Late last year, I got this crazy idea that I needed to challenge myself sexually, and decided to open it up to everyone who reads my blog (please read this post for details).  I have been using the phrase sex positive for so long now, that the timing felt right to push myself outside of my comfort zone (without any prompting from my partner).  So, after careful consideration, I decided it was time to acquire my very first dildo, (affiliate link) one that would not be simply a part of a photo shoot, or a costume, but one I chose for my own pleasure.  I have owned a countless number of buzzing devices and a few butt plugs over the years, but a dildo?  Well, that was something I just saw contributing to my orgasmic pleasure, but low and behold, a hot pink one arrived on my doorstep and there was no turning back. 

Now, before any of you start unbuttoning your pants, thinking this is going to be a hot tale, about me and my new pink toy, I am very sorry to disappoint you, but this is just not how this post is going to go.  Rather, this is a post about how this toy, helped me to better understand my body, and the way I respond to stimuli.  For years, I have known that I am multi-orgasmic, with the ability to get off in a wide variety of ways, including penetration, clitoral stimulation, and through nipple play.  I have long embraced the different ways I get off via a vibrator versus a human being.  I have celebrated the different ways that my body responds, and as I get older, I become less concerned with how many orgasms I have, and more about just enjoying the ride. 

With all that said, I was not quite sure what to expect from a dildo.  I have read numerous sex toy reviewers discuss their favorite phallic toys, and the differences between smooth, ribbed, size, and of course girth.  So, I felt that perhaps my first toy with a motor, would be a gateway to a whole new world of exploration.  I started to imagine a drawer filled with a variety of colours and sizes, aimed to pleasure and please.  But, here is the thing, dildo’s just don’t do it for me.

I set the mood, pulled up an erotic video, lubed it up, and set aside an hour, uninterrupted for some real play time.  And, with all that, I just felt like I was thrusting into a blank void.  There were moments when I could feel the faintest tingling sensation, that perhaps I could have really focused into building momentum for, but, it just felt like too much effort to be worthwhile.  I just couldn’t seem to get anything going no matter the position I put me, or the toy into.  After my allotted time, I went downstairs and enticed an amazing deep thrusting from my partner to bring me to a happy ending.  And while I am in no way bummed about the experience, I was a little surprised to find out that I cannot get off by everything I put inside me!

This toy will absolutely have it’s place in pictures, and foreplay.  It will be amazing to use with couples, and other sexual exploration.  But alas, for solo play, it just didn’t hit my spots. And you know, that is perfectly acceptable to admit and talk about.  Not everything works for everyone.  To all of you out there who own this toy and love it, I am so happy for you!  Sex is about celebrating diversity!  The phrase sex positive does not mean that things are always amazing!  Overcoming obstacles in a place free of shame and guilt is all part and parcel of this amazing community!

If you happen to be joining in on my self pleasure challenge, I cannot wait to hear the words you use to describe your new toy!  Remember, there is a draw and giveaway on January 28, 2020 so still plenty of time to get your toy and join in the challenge. And for a bonus entry, please subscribe to my Patreon!