A Post About Abortion: Because It Matters

Right now, I have a friend who is making one of the most challenging decisions of her life.  The decision to choose what is best for her, when faced with the unexpected news that she is pregnant.  And I guarantee that you probably do too and just don’t know it.  This is not an easy subject to write about, nor is it a comfortable one for you to read about.  However it is an issue that affects each and every one of us in one way or another.  If you have ever been in this position, you know the roller coaster of emotions.  You know the feeling of wanting it one second, and hating it the next.  The gut wrenching pain of feeling like your a monster for even considering termination and then the overwhelming selfish feeling when you decide to put yourself first, even for a moment.

Every single reader of mine knows someone who has been through this decision process.  Every single pregnancy comes with it, the dreaded doubt, even if for a second.  These decisions do not come lightly and they are further influenced by a range of hormones that catch every single female off guard.  This is again something that affects each and every one of us, male or female, with or without a designated gender.  As a species we have survived because we can procreate.  And as a female, we have been equally shamed and praised for this gift depending on race, culture and/or religion.

The female of our species has the often magical and incredible ability to create new life, right inside our own bodies.  And because of this females are often raised with the notion that this is our most important life goal, to create new life.  It is our gift to humanity, and in many places around the world and throughout our evolution, our singular purpose.  With the immense weight on our consciousness, do not think for even a second that the decision to terminate can ever be the easy way out.  It is not and it never will be.  But very often, it can be the only decision and in some small instances the ethically correct one.  I go into the reasons in more depth here, so I won’t repeat myself.

Now I know I wrote a few months ago about how stifling it was that social taboo dictated I could not publicly talk about my sex life, slightly in jest.  But here I have found a much bigger issue.  When woman are at their most vulnerable and need support the most, we do not have a way to reach out.  We cannot make a public calling asking for love and support when we find ourselves in an unexpected situation like this.  The network of support is firmly closed for us.  As women we become isolated, and almost castrated from our social and family circles.  Even the woman who find anonymous forums for support, risk the wrath of trolls.  Those cruel and uneducated souls, who believe it is their mission to stir up the status quo, or worse, preach their own religious crusades and verbally harass woman.  In many places around the world keeping or adopting is the only solution that is acceptable, or even legal, and that needs to change.  We have an ethical responsibility to ensure that each individual has equal access to health care that is sanitary, regulated and wherever possible free.

So what can and what should you do as loving, caring and ethical member of the society that we live in?  Remember first and foremost, that all humans should have a right to do with their own bodies  what they choose and live the way they see fit.  If your belief system is one that forces you to publicly shame other human beings, for making their own decisions about their life, then you need to reevaluate your religion and personal values.  It is not up to every member of our society to have to rationalize their behaviors or actions to strangers so long as they impact only themselves.  And finally, if you know anyone in this situation, listen to them.  Give them a hug, and let them feel free to express the vast range of emotions they are going through.  Each member of our society has value, and no one should be ostracized for doing what they feel is right or best for them at the time.  You do not have to agree with the difficult decision to abort, but you do have to accept that if the decision is made, the woman is still human and deserves autonomy, safety and care, free of public judgement and shame.  As each woman knows, we judge ourselves enough and do not need any help from anyone else.

Pro…. Choice?

I had started working on a blog today which was happy and a totally different direction from my every week writing, then a walked through a Pro Life display and I changed my mind.  I frequently discuss how my writing is not meant to influence anyone’s choices.  I selfishly hope that at least one blog rings true for one person, and that I am not necessarily alone in my views.  But here I sit knowing that I cannot stay mute on this topic that has me now so emotionally charged.

When I was in grade 7 at a catholic junior high, one of my teachers was discussing viewpoints in our health class.  He told us a story about his wife and her best friend.  The two women were incredibly close, but had learned over the years that they had morally different viewpoints regarding pro life and pro choice.  They were on such opposite sides of the fence that neither woman could ever bring this subject up or the friendship of many years would be over.  Looking back at that story I am number one, amazed that our catholic teacher didn’t get in trouble for telling it.  And number two, shocked by what an impact this subject has on people, myself included.

As far as I can tell there seems to be 4 viewpoints out there in regards to a woman finding out she is pregnant.
1)Keep it
2)Give it up for adoption
3)Terminate the pregnancy
4)Leave the decision in “God’s” hands (yes I can hear the moral outcry for this one)

I am calling a spade a spade here and I am not pulling any punches.  I am outraged by any community/group and or organization feeling that they have any right to sway a woman’s decision.  What’s worse is to make a woman feel any shame or guilt about such a personal subject.  Too many doctors have been harassed and even murdered by these people that I am sickened to the core.  I know that I may be losing a whole bunch of readers by posting this blog, as I am already losing a few people on facebook for my comments.

Here’s the way I see it.  The decisions when you are surprised by a pregnancy are hard.  It is an emotional roller coaster and something that you live with for the rest of your life.  Plus you have all these hormones to deal with too.  I believe that every woman should be given a list of her 3 options, no number 4 is not valid, it is just a great way to pass the buck!  When presented with these 3 options, she should be given contact information to research or talk to a representative for all three choices.  Give her a few days to decide and weigh out her own personal lifestyle and make a decision that she is the most OK with.  Individuals will make the correct decision for their own person if provided with facts and opportunity to do any additional research and ask as many questions as they need to. 

I am pro choice because they provide these options.  If family doctors throughout the country were responsible enough to provide this clear information to all of their patients in an unbiased way, well the world would have a little less judgement in it.  I am still in shock about how emotionally charged up I felt walking through those displays.  They are put up to initiate a response, and open the door to spew their viewpoints into willing and unwilling passersby.  I feel that this is not a responsible method for distributing their views.  Thanks for reading and please feel free to comment below as I know that communication and education is key in dealing with these situations.