Silicon Lube and Mattresses Don’t Mix! A PSA

My partner and I have the most amazing set up in our bedroom ever!  Basically, we have a room for beds (post has a very sexy picture!).  But finding the perfect queen sized mattresses was a bit of a process, during which we discovered that while silicon lube is amazingly fun for the sexy times, it is also a nightmare to clean.  I have included quick links to all products mentioned both for clarity, and because they are amazing products that I am proud to be an affiliate for.  So without further ado here is my story, and what I hope will be a warning to all out there to not make the same mistake, and if you do, the only solution that worked!

Once upon a time, a man and a woman decided that for the sanity of their relationship, purchasing two queen sized beds was not only the sleep system they needed, but the one they both deserved.  And thus the hunt for the perfect mattresses began.  And after much deliberation and product testing, the two agreed upon a set that fit their budget and hopefully their ultimate ZZZ regiment.  The two quickly christened their new bed, and after the fun was over, haphazardly placed the silicon lube in between the two mattresses.  With the lube out of sight, and out of mind, the pair went on with their testing of the mattresses and sadly decided that their first purchase was just not to be.

With a vacation quickly approaching, the two asked for an extension to exchange their mattresses and this was generously granted (this is a key component of the treacherous tale).  So upon returning from their vacation, the hunt for the actual best mattresses began, nearly 2 months after their initial purchase.  They tested, and tried.  Snuggled on all sorts of beds for what seemed like weeks on end until finally they fell in love with their would be forever mattresses!  Rejoice! The two celebrated the up coming day of exchange.  But, uh oh!  Upon washing the sheets in preparation for the next week delivery a nasty stain was discovered on not one, but on all the mattresses and box springs!  The culprit… that sneaky bottle of silicon lube!  It had been put in upside down and the stain had set without either party noticing.

Panic quickly ensued as the two raced to good ole google to source out the best way to remove the nasty stain.  And if anyone out there has researched a similar query it turns out that time is of the essence.  After nearly 3 months of the stain sitting it had set.  It looked as if all hope was lost.  And for those of you wondering, yes, the exchange was dependent on a stain and tear free product.  There is no giving up allowed in the quest for the perfect night sleep!  The room was torn apart, and the mattresses and box springs placed stain side up, so I could begin the assessment and start preliminary testing of cleaning techniques.

Would soap and water be enough?  Nope.  How about some Oxy clean?  Nope.  My favorite secret cleaning tool of Club Soda was also a total bust.  Ok, this was getting a little freaky.  The research rabbit hole lead us from kitchen cleaning sites, to sex toy blogs, and nothing, nadda was powerful enough to fix our current situation.  Finally, there was a eureka moment… let’s turn to science.  What product out there actually breaks down silicon?  The answer was daunting, Mineral spirits, which is a fancy name for turpentine!  How in the hell was I going to clean the mattresses (which were black by the way) and not destroy them, or myself in the process?  Let me share with you my process.

Cleaning Silicon Lube from a Mattress (or 4)

1) Ventilate the room as this stuff in incredibly flammable.  I had the window open, and two fans going at all times.

2) Wear protection including a ventilator, eye protection and gloves.

3) Spot check a teeny tiny little spot and cross your fingers that none of the colour leaches out.  And check that the fabric does not start to breakdown or the fibres break apart.

4) Then grab a tooth brush, dunk it in the spirits and start breaking down that silicon with tiny little semi circular motions.

5) Rinse thoroughly with cold soapy water to prevent the chemicals from penetrating too deep into the mattress.

6) Repeat all steps until the stain is lifted.

Now here’s the thing, I repeated this same process twice daily for 4 full days.  And in the end, even with all the ventilation it still stunk to high hell of gas fumes.  So, I did what any person, desperate to get the full refund back does, I dosed it with Fabreze, followed by citrus soap, and Febreze again.  After nearly a day of just sitting there, soaking all the scent masking, I was finally satisfied enough to make the exchange.  And amazingly, it went off without a hitch!  And I was so relieved as they actually sent in an inspector for the task!  The stain in all four pieces was adequately lifted, and I had created a fresh and clean scent that hid all trace of the harsh chemicals used.  But let me tell you, for all the success at the end, it was hard freaking work, and a process I hope never to have to repeat.  So, do yourselves a favor, and don’t leave silicon lube to set.  Or better yet, be proactive and start using a water proof blanket designed specifically for messes in mind such as the Waterproof blankets for “intimate” play!.  I could have saved myself both the emotional stress and actual headache I received from this harrowing adventure by being preventive and not waiting until the last minute to clean the stain.

 

Couples Sex Toy? Oh My… YES! [Product Review]

When I saw an e-mail go out a few weeks back asking if anyone wanted to review the “We-Vibe Match Couples Vibrator” I pounced on the opportunity.  If you have been reading my blog for any length of time you probably know that I do not endorse products unless I love them, which usually means that there are a few awesome book recommendations and that’s about it.  So for me to get totally stoked for an opportunity like this, you know it has to be good!

And if you follow me on twitter you may have seen my teaser post showing how I was beyond stoked when my little brown box of goodies arrived.  And by goodies, I do mean that it contained not only sex toys, but chocolate!  So right from the get go, Betty’s Toy Box, had my full attention and I was so excited to do some real world product testing!  So let’s get the specs out of the way so we can get onto the fun shall we?  It’s a product designed in Canada and made out of silicon, so right away, my sex positive little brain was happy.  And I was delighted to find that it had a variety of buzzing options (10 to be exact) operated by a teeny tiny little remote, which I bravely placed in my partners hand after the recommended 90 minute USB charging was complete.  The toy itself fits comfortably in the palm of your hand at just slightly over 3″ and comes with a 2 year warranty!  Phew, that’s done.  So with our water based lube in hand we were ready to get testing!

Now, because it’s a couples toy, the actual U shaped vibrator is designed for hands free play.  So you can insert it, for a buzzing pleasure enhancement of the clitoris and internal experience.  But we really wanted to see what it could do before inserting.  So my partner and I explored just how powerful the vibrations would be on his shaft.  And my my, was that ever fun!  With a tongue out and buzzing penis placed on it, he excitedly pressed all the buttons to see just what the power level could ramp up to!  And it did not disappoint.  It held on comfortably, but not too tight when placed at the base of the shaft and that motor could clearly be felt on the tip of my tongue!  Obviously, I was beyond excited at this point and ready to use it for its intended purpose, which was a vibrator on my clitoris, and the flatter side of the U shape comfortably inserted right inside me.

And once his penis was all lubed up, he transformed from a thrusting power house, to a vibrating enhanced pleasure rod!   It was fabulous.  With him clicking away, we finally settled on a rising crescendo for the duration of our first testing.  It created an additional intensity that was both exciting to anticipate and explosive when the high was hit.  The sensory overload this created was absolutely amazing, even though it was not quite hitting my clitoris.  For me, I need constant and direct pressure applied, so while it didn’t hit my mark consistently, that is not a flaw of the toy, just a bodily difference that I have.  The overall erogenous zones were most assuredly hit, and with the comfortable silicon material the only thing that was a little jarring was the cold lube (I am more used to silicon, but water based is the way to go with toys).

After a bunch of amazing orgasms as a couple, I had to try the toy all my own too.  And it did not disappoint.  While I typically prefer external toys for personal play, there was something pretty erotic to using this particular toy all by myself.  It didn’t stay in place without a partner, but it did offer very competitive buzzing and a selection of playful settings to that of my trusted hot pink vibrator (by Fun Factory).

So in keeping this brief and sexy, if you are looking to add an little extra oomph in the bedroom or simply enhance your already amazing playtime, I would highly recommend the We-Vibe Match.  It is noticeably smaller in size than it’s predecessor, so I feel comes off as less intimidating and much more comfortable, even for a new user.  And with this, nothing was taken away from the power of it.  In fact, it charges faster, and lasts longer than the We-Vibe 3.  In short, a job well done, and incredibly satisfying.  So to all you sex positive, amazing couples out there, please check the couples vibrator by We-Vibe through this handy link.  And if you’re looking for something a little different, by all means shop away Betty’s Toy Box’s website using my handy little affiliate link!  Happy shopping and sexing!

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