Category: Safe Sex

My Wearable Vibrator!!!

    K Ghislaine

Sex Toy – Review [Affiliate Links Inside]

AYA, Wearable Vibrator from Zalo

While I don’t review toys nearly as often as I probably should, when I do have the opportunity, hot damn do I ever have a fun time.  This was my first toy that came with a remote control and was wearable!!!  And let me just say, I absolutely found the perfect volunteer to help press my buttons! If you want to read the more …*ahem* erotic tale of our testing session you can find that on my Patreon (after dark).  For this blogs purpose though, let me share my thoughts on the pros, cons, and ultimately why I am absolutely a fan of the Aya Wearable Vibrator from Zalo.

Charging

The one down side is the charging time, and so I figured I would just get that out of the way first.  While I understand the accessibility and simplicity that using a USB based charger affords, the reality is that it just slows down the process.  I think my initial charge took over 6 hours to complete.  Honestly, I got bored and went to run some errands so that I was no longer just watching for that blinking light to go solid.  Once charged though, the toy, illuminates in a clear and direct way.

But, on a positive note about the whole charging situation, this is also the first magnetic charger I have used that just worked!  Each and every time the magnet is solid.  So, overall yay?

Sound

Now for the sound, which I think is what people are most curious about.  It is touted as a discrete toy, as far as sound goes, but, I personally wouldn’t be able to go out to a restaurant, to use it. And to be clear, that has nothing to do with the toy itself and everything to do with me. Feeling the intense vibrations (which are amazing and are of course why the this little gem makes sound) has a tendency to create some *cough* sounds, especially when you are someone like me who has a difficult time staying quiet.  The audible gasps, and visibly red cheeks are what would be noticed by a passerby’s and not the little hum coming from inside my underwear.  Ha!

Now, if you are able to stay quiet and calm perhaps you could pull off a discrete romantic candlelit dinner.  As it does specify a 40 dB level which Google handily compared to a library as far as ambient sound. So, I guess it’s up to your personal risk level? All in all, though, it admittedly does sound louder when you are wearing it than it does to anyone else.  So take that with a grain of salt. I did a side by side sound check with with my other toys and it is quieter. As well, the clothing (if you’re wearing it in public for a little risque adventure does mute it as well. I just have no poker face to speak of, so I’m out.

Distance

Let us talk about distance between remote and the wearer.  I was able to test it in a house with three floors.  The remote is quite responsive a floor away, but, it loses connection when you are more than one floor apart (and yes it was advertised as being same room only, but of course, I had to make sure!). Nothing is more fun than running upstairs with a toy hanging out of you yelling “I’m ready! Press more buttons!” Isn’t half the fun of having a helping hand in just seeing their reaction too? I certainly think so! And there are toys out there specifically geared for long distance which I hope to explore in future reviews.   

QR Code

So, there is a QR code, with an app based interface that you can use your cell phone to control this Lovely wearable vibrator.  I have gone back and forth on whether or not I was comfortable testing this feature.  Admittedly am the most tech savvy, tech avoidance person I know.  I love the idea of what technology has to offer, but I struggle with just how much information I ultimately give access to.  If you’ve been following me, or reading my words for any length of time, you’ve probably realized that while I share a tonne about my life, it is always on my terms.  Rarely do I entertain people prying or pressuring me to give more than I already have. So, for the time being, I am not going to download the app.  But, if you choose to and wish to share your experience I would love to include your review for others!  Just comment below and we can chat about that.

Visuals

Ahhhh, for anyone who has read my toy reviews before, I am consistently blow away by how visually stunning toys are made.  Take this one for example.  It is made of velvety soft silicon, that is easy to clean, and a rich green colour.  It has delightful gold accents, that are not only beautiful, but hide the cleverness of a magnet that makes securing to your underwear or chosen fabric even easier (See image). The drawstring bag has come in handy when I have taken the toy over to be tested with my helping hand! And again, I simply love the elegance, and kinda wanna keep the black box (See image) as much as I want to store it in the bag for easy on the go, mobility.  So, beautiful, easy to clean and store, and of course, very soft to touch. Visually stunning!

Recommendation

Overall, I adore this toy.  And it is the first “couples” type toy that I anticipate becoming an active participant in my bedroom. It is not the star, but it is amazing for fourplay, is very fun to use, and just fits my body incredibly well.  Thus, if you are looking for a wearable device, I highly recommend the Aya (which you can purchase directly through this post and support me reviewing future toys!) 

AYA, Wearable Vibrator in action!

Swingers: Please Stop Swinging

    K Ghislaine

Until you can again get consent from every person you interact with…

I try not to speak out against people in the swinging community, for one simple reason, I think it is more beneficial to show the good in the community. However, right now there are podcasters, even organizers, and club owners who are basically shining a horrific bright light on the community, and I all I can think is “you do it to yourself!”. It is heartbreaking, because I spend countless hours each week trying to dispel taboo’s, and talk about the great points of non-monogamy. Dispelling myths is absolutely my jam, and while I don’t have a huge reach, I feel that what I do is valuable. But here I am, watching people I follow like @CooperSBeckett and Steak&Tequila speaking up, and I feel compelled to join them, by saying Swingers, stop swinging.

I won’t mince words here with my point. There are swingers right now who are putting their sexual lusts ahead of the good of the community and that makes me sick to the stomach. I am not OK with hotel takeovers during this global pandemic. I am not OK with sex clubs being open, claiming that they are only open to consenting adults who know the risks, because there are just no get out of jail free cards here. I recognize that the club owners need to keep their livelihood, but the cost is just too great here. I have empathy for every small business owner out there, but you cannot put people in harms way for profit. You just can’t, it’s wrong.

I am going stir crazy at home. I hate not being able to go out and meet new people in person like I used to do. I miss dancing, flirting, having sex in front of a group of consenting adults. I hate the isolation, and yeah, my libido feels like a caged animal right now. I even broke my favourite vibrator due to over use. But, my love of my fellow man is more important. These are small sacrifices in the grand scheme of things. 

I’ve said it before, but when you go to a sex party during a pandemic, you are putting the cleaning staff, uber/cab drivers, liquor store clerks, grocery store clerks, and each and everyone of your family members at unnecessary risk. Why? Because you selfishly need to get laid! Often these innocent bystanders are lower income, and don’t have the choice to say no to work. But guess what? You, have the choice to put your sex drive on pause, for the good of others.

There has been such a push for consent, and if you’re a swinger I know you have heard the word. Well, consent isn’t just about sex. Consent is a norm that should be extended to all humans we interact with. And let’s face it, there is no way you are telling your elderly parents that you can’t see them for 14 days because you have to isolate after sex with strangers. There is no way, you are telling your babysitter that you are wearing a mask to drive them home, because you have just had your face in a stranger’s crotch. While swingers are more adept at hiding their lifestyle, if no one is supposed to be going out in groups, you stand out like a sore thumb! Just stop it!

I want to get back out there in 2021. But the more I see about people saying, bring your parties to Florida, we have no restrictions. Or emails saying, the hotel takeover was sold out in record time, and we are looking for a bigger venue. Or advertisements of podcasts driving across the country bringing the parties to you! I am just… tired. So tired. And sexually frustrated, and there is no end in sight.

If you are reading this, and feel it is a stretch and I am drawing ridiculous conclusions, I actually feel very sorry for you. In fact, I think I am under reacting, because the damage you are doing to the integrity of the non-monogamous community is heartbreaking. When this is over, we may have to go back underground, hide in shame, and stop using the word ethical. That crushes my soul. It’s a loss I am not prepared for. So please, cancel your events. Stop taking risks in the name of sex. And follow this simple rule, if you’re not willing to be open and honest in seeking consent when putting anyone into contact with you, you probably shouldn’t do it!

If you love what I do, why not subscribe to my Patreon to read every article I write all in one place!

Newport Beach Babe: Toy Review!!!

    K Ghislaine

Please note that this article does contain affiliate links of which I earn a small commission that helps fuel my blog, but more importantly, hooks you up with amazing products that I have verified as awesome!

Newport Beach Babe

My Original plan when I was I sent two of the Calexotics line from Betty’s Toy Box to try, was to review the Catalina Climaxer, and then do a fun comparison review for the second.  However, I very soon realized that this orange pleasure product was in fact amazing and needed a stand alone post!  Colour me very, very surprised.  With all the toys I have been testing as of late, I really did not expect one to stand out the way that it did.  So, let me tell you all about it!

Firstly, it is now my second largest buzzing toy in my toy box.  And the crazy thing is, the silicon is so soft and supple, that it takes only a slight bit of lube to slide right into place.  I have a toy from different company of similar girth and made with silicon, that doesn’t even hold a torch to this comfort level and smoothness.  So, buyers, please be aware that not all silicon is created equal.  The Calexotics have exceeded my expectations with an almost silky, yet firm feel, and very easy to clean.

Now let us get onto the testing.  My when I first turned it on, I actually burst out giggling at the sheer drive of the clitoral stimulator.  It actually has a visible pounding action that both terrified and intrigued me.  I have not experienced anything like that before.  Usually it is a vibration, with various speeds and rhythms.  But this, was something else entirely.  And I should mention, I am not positive how durable something like this will be in the long term.  I can only pound my clit so many times in a day right?!? But for the two-week testing I did, there was absolutely zero sign of wear or of it slowing down. 

Betty’s Toy Box

Unfortunately, the incredible strength of the clitoral thumping does come with a downside, and that my dears, is the sound.  This is my noisiest toy.  It isn’t annoying by any means, but there is no chance of having a discrete playtime while your partner sleeps beside you.  This little thumper will absolutely wake a person up.  But, holy hell, they would be waking up to quite a lot of fun!  So, maybe this is a plus?

The battery life is great, the size, and shape are amazing.  And once I got the clitoral arm in place, I was basically holding on for an amazing ride.  I am fully on board with this line of toys, and cannot wait to see what else they can come up with.  Thank you Betty’s Toy Box, for helping me get through this quarantine with so much extra fun!

If you want to see some of the behind the scenes photos taken during my toy testing, Patreon would be the best place to find those little gems, and then make sure to purchase one of these amazing toys for your household! 

Our Second New Years Takeover – Part II

    K Ghislaine

The Sexy Side of Finally Doing a Takeover Right!

Fancy as Fuck

Thank you all for reading part I!  And now for what you all have been waiting for, a few sexy highlights from our hotel takeover New Years Eve adventures! With three nights there, it is difficult to list everything that happened, but let me share the moments that make me the most eager to go back.

One of the clearest memories that I have is riding the elevator down to the first meet and greet, and allowing my eyes, and ears to take in the magnitude of where we were.  To our left was a live DJ, and in the room before us, were a bunch of like-minded people, sipping cocktails, munching on appetizers, and just acting cool as cucumbers.  It was what you would imagine any meet and greet would be on the surface, people just there to socialize, and make new connections.  But then, this ethereal feeling takes hold, and you realize that you are sharing a hotel, that is filled to the brim with sex positive people, and the possibilities that being there holds.  A huge smile appeared on my face in that moment, and my partner and I held hands as we sauntered up to the bar and began the first of our introductions.  It’s a memory that will live with me for a long time.

The second memory that stands out is when I was told my boobs were so perfect that they looked fake.  Here I was, playing a version of strip poker, lying topless on the bed, with 3 other couples and one of the guys across couldn’t stop staring at my breasts.  After he asked if they were fake, the whole room starting talking about breasts, and comparing each other’s in the most sex positive, and supporting way I have ever experienced first hand.  All the partners clearly loved their women, and it showed by how they proudly displayed their favorite tits, and the women all giggled appreciatively for the attention and praise.  Such a beautiful moment, filled with magnificent breasts!  And holy crap did that ever lead to some sexy fantasies later that night as I embark on my bi curious exploration.

Betty’s Toy Box
Click above for an amazing selection of toy’s, lube, and much more (affiliate)

For the third memory, I asked my partner what stood out most in his mind.  And of course, in true me fashion I asked when we were sipping beer at a local craft brewery, and did not write his words down exactly.  So, I hope he forgives me if I don’t type it as eloquently as he remembers.  On new years eve, the version of strip poker required that a truth or dare element be the penalty if you found yourself naked.  My partner got to choose the dare for a beautiful and sexy woman who was laying naked on the bed across from us.  He dared her to give her husband a blow job, and she delightedly got on all fours (butt high in the air, facing my partner and I) and began to suck and stroke his cock.  She took her duty seriously and after about 10 minutes, the couple beside her told her she could stop so we could resume the game.  She gave a delightful pout, licked his cock a few more times, and then bounced right back into card game mode. It was spectacular!

As a special bonus and conclusion memory, my partner and I agreed that one of our shared highlights was on New Years Day, with just the two of us.  I was standing naked on our balcony, on this beautiful and very sunny start to 2020, when my partner came up behind me, and started fucking me from behind. With the view of pool to our left, and our 10th floor landscape before us, he brought me to orgasm more than a few times.  As he was ready to cum, he bent me over the railing and shot a full and glistening load all over my back.  It was so incredibly hot!  The exhibitionism of that moment, the sunshine all over our naked bodies, and the knee buckling orgasms… it is almost too much to type even days later. 

So, with my 2020 kicking off with the most incredible orgasms, I am refueled, and ready to tackle what I hope will be an amazing year.  Cheers to all of you for the love and support, retweets, questions, and of course an extra thank you to those who check out my Patreon from time to time.  May the good vibes flow free this year, and I look forward to continuing this sex positive adventure with you all!

Reader Feedback: Sex Positive, Breaking Away, Fantasies, and More

    K Ghislaine
Reader Feedback Time: Sex Positive

Over the past few weeks, I have been branching out my writing, podcasting, and now I need a little bit of help.  Some of you have been reading since the very beginning of this blog, while some of you are very new, or just occasional readers.  So, no matter how you happen upon this little post, your feedback, and input are equally important.

Breaking Away From Monogamy

Firstly, this blog has and will remain about my random thoughts on everything to do with relationships, non-monogamy, and all subject matters that relate to sex positivity.  But further to that, I have developed a sex positive podcast, currently called BreakingAway.  In this, my aim to is talk about all subject matter related to being sex positive, sex education, and exploring other people’s relationships and why they are a part of this incredible sex positive community.  So, in the comments section, are there any topics that you would like me to explore?  What burning questions do you have that you would love to hear me talk about? 

Fantasy Writing

Second up, if you follow me on twitter, you may have noticed that I have begun to write a few erotic fantasies.  So, dear readers, where would the best fit be for me to post these?  A few suggestions would be a teaser called blog after dark, whereby I write the first part, and then the second for any Patreon fans who want to read more.  Or another suggestion would be for me to add an audio component to my Patreon and actually read a few of these for anyone who wants to read them.  I have a few reasons for not wanting this erotic writing to just be free on my blog, is the subject matter.  If my website gets flagged for erotica or porn, then I will have major hurdles to deal with when it comes to the branding of it.  There are so many new rules right now for the word porn, sex, etc. and really, I just don’t want to have to censor myself.  And making these posts public, would mean I have to.   So what are your thoughts?  How would you want to consume my non-monogamous fantasy shorts?  Please write in the comments.

Don’t forget to click here to purchase all your toys, lube, and condoms! Use BreakingAway at checkout to save 10% and support this blog!

Non-Monogamous Relationship Coaching

Third, is my dating and relationship coaching website.  I have been toying with the idea of shutting this down altogether and bringing a few tabs over onto my main blog page breakingawayfrommonogamy.  While this would save me a bit of money, ultimately, the majority of you have asked me to keep it separate.  So, if you are looking for book reviews, recommendations, non-monogamous dating or relationships coaching I do have a separate website that you can reach me at breakingawayfromrelationshipnorms.com.  I have had so many people reach out to me over the years, that it would be a shame to shut down that resource side and that is not what I want to do.  I want to be available to help, answer questions, and basically remain a resource.  So if you are curious, please feel to reach out to me there, and we can discuss the next steps.

Sex Positive Books and Blogs

Fourth and final thought.  Earlier this summer, I announced my newest website which is sex positive books and blogs.  The hope was for this to be a resource centre for people to explore media related to being sex positive.  I have reached out to a few contributors to share their books, blogs, podcasts, etc and the response has been amazing so far. For my end, it has been a matter of finding the time to ensure that I am promoting and placing your amazing contributions in an easy to use place.  This is still a go, but it will take a bit more time before I make it active.  So thank you, and please stay tuned on the Twitter news feed for my next announcement.

Contact Me or Comment Below

So, that about summarizes my questions for you.  I would love for you to comment, and share your thoughts and ideas about where you want what, and how you best enjoy consuming your sex positive content!  If you do feel uncertain about posting publicly, you may also DM or e-mail me.  The only caveat if you don’t want to make it public, is that I would ask is you please like this post on whatever social media you see it on so I can get the most feedback possible and best plan for the fall.

Cheers!

Krys