Category: Stampede

One Less Stampede Slut: My Little Reflection

    K Ghislaine
Goodbye Stampede Slut

I woke up this morning to a notification from Google that one of my pages was skyrocketing, and I smiled. It was one of those knowing smiles, filled with reflection, and appreciation for almost everything that has brought me to this point, a place whereby I love who I am. And I realized, perhaps for the first time, that while my experiences “slutting” it up for Stampede helped shape who I am today, I have in fact broken away from that woman. I am no longer a stampede slut, but holy cripes did I ever have some great stampede fun.

For those who don’t know, the Calgary Stampede, well the party side of it, is basically like a cowboy Mardi Gras so to speak. It’s a time when the liquor flows over a 10 day period and almost everyone is in a cowboy hat! The transformation my city goes through is quite remarkable, and there is this feeling of western solidarity met with Ya Hoo’s, and Yee Haw’s on the streets. I know it sounds hokey, but you should see the grin on my face as I write these words. It’s a strange culture, that truly you have to see to believe. And I have definitely experienced a lot!

From drunken threesomes, to walks of shame. From pub crawls, to 2 stepping with strangers, and all the amazing butts in tight jeans! I’ve been drunker than a skunk, and woken up in strange beds. I’ve been to stampede swingers parties, and couples speed dating, and a few times, I’ve even been responsible and gone home alone, Ha! 

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The thing about this time of year, is that you can have stupid fun, especially if you are single or non-monogamous. And you can win some incredibly stupid prizes if you pretend to be the above, which absolutely happens in this city. There are many a marriage that allow for “indiscretions” during this 10 day period, and even more that it is absolutely forbidden to do so! It really is a wild time whereby wedding rings just don’t seem to matter, and well, it is the closest thing we as a city have to being sexually free.

And the thing of it is, I always knew that one day, the parties wouldn’t mean as much to me. And the call to come out and party would fade out into a whisper, I just didn’t expect it to happen so soon. Every experience that I have had, good and bad, wearing my skimpiest western wear, often out on the prowl, has made me the person I am today. And I smile, thinking back to the parties, and the memories, and the country music soundtrack that is forever burned into my brain. It is a cherished part of who I am, but, I can no longer call myself a slutty girl of stampede.

I can and will continue to dress the part because dressing up is my favourite thing to do. But, the wild parties, and drunken sexcapades are a thing of my past. I love that I live in a city whereby I could be this slutty girl when I needed to be her the most. When I needed to just lose myself in the music, and the flirtation, and the attention, I had a 10 day oasis. It helped scratch an itch that I admit I had to scratch.

It brought me so much closer to being the sex positive person that I am today. And I loved her, and her fearlessness in wearing pink chaps in public, or the shortest denim skirts! She was bold, and carefree, and stampeded her little heart out. I hope that I take the best parts of her with me, as I forge forward, towards this next, beautiful chapter of my life. Thank you Stampede Slut, and goodbye!

If you want to check out some of my stampede outfits throughout the years, check out my BreakingAway page on Patreon.

Stampede Cheating and Slut Shaming

    K Ghislaine

Wow, here I thought I wouldn’t be writing about Stampede this year, and that scandal had passed us by.  Looks like I was wrong.  As I was listening to the radio, on my way to do some book I writing I heard the tale.  Today, there was a woman standing on a very busy street corner, with a cardboard signing that read “I cheated on my boyfriend at Stampede this is my punishment”.  The woman was dressed in oversized clothes, a hat is covering her eyes, and the sign blocks most of her.  Obviously, I have some thoughts. 

I try very hard not to make an knee jerk reaction until I can find out as many facts as I possibly can.  Was this a stunt for publicity?  Was this simply attention seeking behaviour for a little fame?  Was this, perhaps, just a dare or a bet?  The skeptic in me asks as I delve into the research.  And then, I realized, it doesn’t matter.  What matters is the public reaction to this woman, standing on the corner, obviously hiding as much of herself as possible.  Whatever the motivations behind, in that moment, she projects shame, and guilt.  The word cheated is underlined.  The busy street corner catches commuter on their way to work.  This is a statement that impacts an incredibly large amount of people.  And the comment section on Reddit did its very best to show pretty much every possible reaction to this incident. 

The rallying cries of foul are plenty.  Slut shaming at it’s finest.  The cynics call say it is all a rouse to get her out of the house to pack up her stuff, and change the locks.  And whatever the fallout is as a result, one thing is clear, this is that particular relationships price of admission.  You cheat, you are shamed and humiliated.  Agree with it or not, public airing of the dirtiest of laundry has occurred. 

In my true balanced nature I ask you to pretend that this was a male standing on the street corner instead of a female.  My gut reaction is that if it was a male, he would be in physical danger.  I truly believe that people would be throwing things at him, sneering, and the temptation to “nudge” him with their vehicle would be strong.  Whether the same risks existed for the female are not initially clear, I do believe that we have a stronger opinion to a female cheating in hindsight, and a stronger physical urge to act when it comes to a male.  If you find out a male has cheated, you want to slap them or kick them in the nuts.  You have a physical urge to even the playing field.  With women, it’s different.  We are cruel.  We use words like slut, and whore, and all sorts of vile sneers and snickers. 

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I wrote about the differences in our societal reactions between males and females cheating in this post, and while it did not make me popular with the female in question, I think it still holds water.   We have a clear gender bias when it comes to cheating.  Take for example the Stampede slut a few years back.  She was a woman who basically had to own the sexual act and capitalize on it rather than become swallowed up in the scorn and shame.  No one asks about the men in question, and there were two in the act, and one filming, so I guess 3 technically.  Did they lose their jobs?  Were they all single?  What level of societal shame did we place on them?  Oh, that’s right, they were opportunistic males.  So they got a pass.  She took fame by the horns, and they just slipped quietly into the night.  The same is true for the person this woman cheated with.  His picture is not on the cardboard sign, he is not standing with her in solidarity, he is nowhere to be found (if it is a he, which I assume, only because a female to female cheating scenario would have received a jovial hi five and entered into the spank bank).  

I think we all can agree that this relationship is doomed.  Tit for tat relationships are not sustainable.  Public shaming is something we do not as a society accept.  We believe we have evolved beyond the Roman games at the coliseum.  Slut shaming is not something we should be proud to do in a public forum.  And make no mistake, that is exactly what this boyfriend is doing to his girlfriend.  He has brought her shame out into the limelight, and that is deplorable.  There is no balance in that behaviour, and the relationship will not survive. 

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It’s Calgary’s Greatest Outdoor Show on Earth Time Again!

    K Ghislaine

Stampede the Greatest Show on Earth

Yes, that’s right, it is time for my annual post celebrating everything that I love about Stampede, from the sluts, to the men in tight jeans, and of course the ability to drink without shame at pretty much anytime of the day!  If you are like many of my readers who have yet to experience the Calgary Stampede, I can honestly tell you that it would be worth checking out at least once in your life.  From the rodeo, to the grandstand, rides, live music and parades, there is something for pretty much everyone.  And did I mention the booze?  Because, yes, there is a lot of it!

Now one of the first things you will notice is the daisy dukes and cowboy hats.  Next, you will probably notice that the entire city transforms into a western wonderland, ripe with window painting of horses, chuckwagons and everything that can wear a cowboy hat.  And if you want to sit down for a moment, why not try one of the hay bales found pretty much everywhere?  While you take a seat, enjoy the street performers and more enticing to me is the incredible people watching.  It’s basically one big party, where young and old celebrate this incredible 10 day festival.  I actually tear up the first time I see the rides each year, and smell that intoxicating scent of mini donuts!  Our community comes together, united by western pride, and it is freaking awesome.

Over the years I have written posts about stampede sluts, dress code, and one lamenting the first and only Stampede I have ever missed.  And while I never tire of the Stampede, I have watched so many of my fellow Calgarians poo-poo the Stampede.  They see the gross underbelly of our little festival.  The extreme expense, the same ole thing year after year, and the infuriating influx of tourists on our roadways.  I get it, it can be frustrating.  But, as the eternal optimist, I see the power that the stampede has.  And the incredible way that brings people together.  For nearly a decade every time I went to the grounds I would run into my first childhood friend.  It was never planned, and was equally exciting to both of us each and every time we saw each other.  And if you consider that the grounds can get upwards of 100’000 people per day, it truly is serendipitous that something like that could happen.

I love watching my city transform for those few days.  And I love the sense of pride in seeing my city rally together to celebrate this annual time of year.  And of course, I love the freedom to dress as slutty as I want so long as I have added some sort of western flair.  It’s an outdoor event!  And it’s great… and I love it!  So go, Woop it up!  And give a little Yee Haw to your fellow cowboy or cowgirl.  So, go hog wild, have some fun.  And please, if you hook up with someone new, please practice safe sex, because I don’t want to have to keep writing posts about infidelity and STI’s in the aftermath of Stampede!

I have added a little Stampede fun on my Patreon page!  There may be a cowboy hat… 😉

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Stampede “Prosti-tots”: Adult Perception Skews Their Intent

    K Ghislaine

Well, this is my story about how that happens.  When I was in Jr. High, my best friend and I were given permission to go to stampede together, without adult supervision.  We were so excited, and had our outfits picked out weeks ahead of schedule.  We planned every matching detail, from the hat, to the braided hair, “shirt” and shoes.  Now I put “shirt” in quotations because the year prior there was a fad that was starting to take hold.  And that fad was bandanas for shirts.  Yes, you read that correctly, we had decided that we were going to look so cool wearing bandanas for shirts, jeans and cowboy boots. It was perfect for a number of reasons.  We would be at the height of fashion, we already owned bandanas and the most important to us, was that we would be comfortable in the heat that always accompanies the grounds (plus 35 Celsius most days). 

If this very strange term is new to you, here is a quick definition, “a prepubescent girl (generally 10-14 years of age) who emulates the overtly sexual fashions and attitudes of twenty-something women such as pop stars” (Urban Dictionary).  And I think it is safe to say that during Stampede week, we have all seen a young girl who has fit this description.  It has made many a man uncomfortable and more than a few women glare in disgust.  I mean how could parents ever let their daughters go to Stampede dressed so provocatively?

So here we were, the morning of Stampede getting dressed at our parents houses in our little make shift tops without a care in the world, then off we went to the exhibition.  To be fair to our parents, I am fairly sure we wore hoodies while leaving the house because it is chilly in the morning so they were none the wiser to our attire.  I can also tell you that I know I was not developed in the breast area, and I cannot for the life of me remember if my best friend was or not.  We genuinely felt amazing in our trendy “shirts” and we strutted all day long with Calgarian young girl pride.  I remember a glance or two that felt a little weird, however, we were both incredibly innocent and appropriately naïve so we figured they were just jealous which is a natural pre-teen reaction.

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We dressed trendy to be cool and comfortable.  We even brought sunblock and re-applied every 3 hours to ensure that our delicate skin was protected.  There was NOTHING sexual in our minds when we chose our outfits.  And that is the honest truth.  And yet, looking back, we were the very definition of prosti-tots.  We were those girls who I can only assume were making those around us uncomfortable.  And the thing is, if we had locked eyes with any man getting excited or blushing, we would have laughed in his face and walked away. 

I am aware that today’s young girls are exposed to a much wider range of social media and fashion trends that I was not.  I after all was in Jr High quite a few years prior to the social media or smart phone age.  So, my only exposure to anything socially relevant was the occasional copy of 17 magazine or Cosmo.  In fact, as I mentioned we (my best friend and I) saw a lady the year before wearing a bandana, thought to ourselves that she looked so cool, that we waited a whole year to emulate her.  It was a form of flattery if nothing else.  And we thought we were cool enough to wear clothing that made us look trendy and feel great.  If we were mature enough to go to the grounds alone, we were “adult” enough to wear what we wanted.  We never once thought that we were “slutting” it up to go pick up guys or get attention.

Now for the take away, I believe in a sex positive society.  I also believe that children and youth should never be sexualized or viewed with adult eyes or their biases.  I was a young girl, and I made a completely innocent fashion choice because I yearned to be cool and trendy.  I can tell you that if anyone had scolded or scoffed in my face that day nearly 20 years ago I would have been mortified, and then rapidly defiant!  I was innocent of the sexual perversions of adults and I am grateful that I grew up in an environment where I was safe to make these mistakes.  I cannot speak for the youth of today, but perhaps take a moment before you glare at a young girl/boy for exposing more than you yourself are comfortable with and just look away rather than parent them.  Let children be children.  And remember that we all made mistakes when we were young.  Stop calling these youth “prosti-tots” or any of the other sexualized terms of the day.  And take those first steps to acknowledging that you have a biased mindset as a sexual adult, and that skewed perspective can do much more harm than good when projected towards a young child.

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Slutty Girls of Stampede AKA The Stampede Slut

    K Ghislaine
 

Last stampede, the big headline was the alley way threesome, which involved a leaked video of 2 men, tag teaming a woman.  She became the Stampede Slut and took my top 3 Google search place of the same name.  I followed this story with much curiosity from Italy, as I was on vacation and missing my very first Stampede in 30 some years.  Now here is the thing, this woman earned her title, and deserved displacing my ranking.  I write about being a slut with pride, and this woman took it to a whole new level.  A quick search will tell you all you need to know about these events, and you can probably still find the now infamous video.  The take away from this, is that the woman owned what she did.  Getting fired and having her booty all over the internet was probably not planned, but instead of hiding, suing everyone in sight, and or curling up into a little ball in her basement, this woman took a much tougher path.  She owned it.  She admitted it was her, and even started capitalizing on the incident by making appearances at various strip clubs over the following months.

So here’s what I take away from this.  This woman owned the title slut.  And she made slut a word of power.  That is an incredibly hard feat to do.  I commend her for managing this, despite all the criticism, cruelty and backlash that she received.  With head held high, she embodied the word slut.  She did what very few women would dream of doing.  Whether you agree or not with her public show (which I would argue was sort of secluded in an alley), she pushed a boundary.  Again, she took control, she kept her power, and she was not a victim.

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Please don’t be thinking that my sex tape is going to be next, based on this post.  I will not be writing erotica to go along side my pictures, as it is just not my style.  The reality is, her event during last Stampede, could have harmed my work and my freedom.  If this woman had cried victim and started slut shaming, my follow up post would have been one screaming at her for setting women back yet again.  Thankfully, I get to reap some rewards.  She became the outlier.  She blasted through a societal norm and it allowed me just a little more play in my writing exploration.  She reset the shock value calculator, so I gain more freedom of speech. 

So thank you, stampede slut, for helping push the societal norm just a little farther.  I hope now for a little less uptight crowd, and maybe just a little less tisking from elderly women when I strut around in my pretty pink chaps!  Well everywhere but on the grounds, because apparently, they are cracking down on dress code that is not family friendly… for shame!  I embrace being searched as a positive female character, who is trying to embrace the word slut with dignity.  It is not a title I think fits my lifestyle, but it is one that I feel women need to use without shame if they so choose.  May the walk of shame be forever in your past, and your walk of sexual freedom be in your future.  Happy Stampede ladies!

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