One Less Stampede Cowgirl This Year

July 5, 2015 K Ghislaine

I have been to stampede nearly every year of my life. I cannot guarantee I was there as infant as I couldn’t be asked to remember such things, but as far as my working memory goes, my record is perfect. I have attended as a little tike, enjoying the parade and all the aspects children can see right on up to adulthood. Whereby I took my experience to a more adult level, including bars, pub crawls, and every aspect of debauchery that are expected as a seasoned Calgarian. I have written posts about our Stampede centennial and in celebration of the Stampede slut. However this year, I am writing from afar.

I am missing my first Stampede to go on an international trip with my sweetheart. And I wasn’t bothered by this until today. I am really going to miss having a beer by 8 am with friends. To the numerous stampede breakfasts, the midway, and general celebrations this city engages in. Mostly though, I am going to miss the dress code! I love dressing up in my best stampede wear. I love the short shorts, the denim, the chaps, and the men in cowboy hats. I love the tight jeans, the belt buckles and the general abundance of plaid. Only for these 10 days can people from far and wide do plaid sexy. And I love it!

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For years I have said just how lucky Calgary is to be able to dress slutty twice a year. Halloween and again during Stampede. Sex is in the air and it is invigorating. As someone who promotes sexually positive attitudes I am missing my Mecca. The holy land of tight, and a little bit trashy, filled with a boozy hue in the air it is for me, true freedom. I can make choices to drink, party, and flirt my little butt off. Or to just dress the part and put myself on a little personal parade. The choice is there, and unless there are some ladies who are giving a disgruntled tsk tsk, the environment is generally accepting.

I face a lot controversy on a regular basis with my online dating profiles, and a bit in my personal life as a result of writing this blog. Some days it can really be a struggle to keep my head held high. But during these 10 days, I feel confident. There is comraderey in the fact that so many are engaging in their own deviant behavior during these 10 days. I get to hear stories from so many about their previous Stampede adventures in all their scandalous glory. Why? Because we give each other a pass for these 10 days. It is not just me, sharing my crazy life, but getting to hear from friends who allowed themselves to be crazy. To get in touch with their inner slutty selves. And more importantly to be a little proud of making their own memories.

Stampede, I am missing you.

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Cheating: Third Party Part II

February 28, 2013 K Ghislaine

I often hear the advice that if you catch someone cheating you should run and quickly tell the person who has been cheated on. But honestly, how does that help anyone? All you have done is shared your burden of knowledge and possibly broken up a family. What if that extra on the side was just what was needed in order for guy to get his head on straight and realize what really matters to him? Or what if the couple is in an open relationship that they wanted to keep private? Now the onus is on the cheated on partner to out their relationship agreements, which in many cases could have very damaging effects. Also if you have just found out that you took a 50 percent role in the cheating, you will most likely do no good by finding the spouse and letting him/her know, it is not like you are going to gain a friendship or any brownie points, in fact you could be putting yourself directly in the line of fire so to speak.

But back to the topic at hand, it is always portrayed in mainstream media that the third party is a one dimensional person who has no voice or say in what just happened. It almost seems that the media is angry at them for opening up their mouths and coming forward with an indiscretion, and I believe the reasons are two-fold. The first being people are emotional when they find out a celebrity idol has been unfaithful to their spouse, and secondly, it sheds light on a dirty little secret in our society, that people do in fact cheat. The majority of us do not like being reminded of that, and thus we take away the humanity and three dimensions of this cheating co-conspirator. There is media shame and backlash for coming forward, and they try and suppress the truth or completeness of the situation. All the focus is on what a slut this person is, or what occupation they had in their past. The media sensationalizes the fact that this person was of a lesser moral character and the partnered person was merely caught in the web of deceit. That somehow the cheating was some grand elaborate scheme of an unethical mind, making an almost “criminalization” of the affair.

I was just on a forum whereby a lady was asking how to rebuild her self-confidence and if it was possible to regain trust with her husband after she found out he had been flirting with a much younger woman for a few months. Every single response without fail bashed the husband, told her to leave him, to hate him and move out immediately with her two young children. People were outraged at this affair of the mind and were very judgemental and critical. Not one person tried to deal with her actual question (except for myself and I am being harshly criticized at the moment for it), just sensationalized outcries of ‘how could he cheat’. And this is what the media re-enforces daily. There are no questions for the younger woman, and why she is making advancements towards him. There is no questioning why the husband is flirting with this other woman, all of this is meaningless to the point that this wife is better off alone, raising two children than to work on anything. It takes three people to cheat. Let that sink in, every single one of those three people involved have a role to play in how, why, and what the result will be.

I was trying to book a hotel for a conference through work and had picked a fancy one downtown. When my boss told his wife of the possible venue, she just upturned her nose at the thought of giving them money. Apparently she read that a few years back during Stampede the hotel had advertised a ring service, in which you could safely store away your wedding ring and have a spray tan applied to cover any possible tan lines that might remain. Basically this hotel was perpetuating a very well known fact about the common place cheating practices in Calgary during our 10 days of Stampede. On the surface everyone despises a cheater, but if it was not occurring regularly this particular hotel would not have been able to make a profit off of the practice. Cheating is occurring, and we are only fed a portion of any given story. Full blame goes to the cheating party, and nothing is said of the spouse or the third party. So with only one third of the story getting publicity and attention it is no wonder that this problem is not going away.

Calgary Stampede, 100 Years, and the Slut

July 14, 2012 K Ghislaine

To any of my readers out there who are do not know me personally I am a born and raised Calgarian. For 10 days every July since 1912 this city has celebrated the Calgary Stampede Exhibition and Rodeo, and during this time our quiet city transforms into a cowgirl and cowboy party town. Corporations often will throw Stampede events in lieu of Christmas parties as an opportunity to network, socialize and often most important is the opportunity to wear jeans and a cowboy hat to the workplace. The city parties, and parties well for these 10 days and with the liquor flowing, and the good times to be had the slut has a perfect playground in which to showcase her true colours.

As a small child I was dressed up in denim skirts with plaid shirts and a straw hat with a piercingly high pitched whistle. I learned how to shout “yee haw” while being spun around in circles on the Monster ride at the midway. I also learned how to walk for an entire day in the scorching sunshine, often reaching highs of the mid 30’s, in heeled cowboy boots or ropers. When I became a teenager my view of this childhood playground evolved into embracing the time when dressing slutty became acceptable. For many, the inner slut gets to play on Halloween, but in this fair city we have the stampede to play as well. For example when I was 16 years old, my best friend and I saw absolutely nothing wrong with wearing tight jeans, and a bandanna wrapped around our boobs for tops. Since that time I have worn miniskirts, booty shorts, halter jumpers, corset tops, see through white t’s and for this year I sported a pair of pink leather chaps with bikini bottoms underneath. Why? Because this fair city expects the inner slut to come out, and damn it is fun to be a proud one and prance in your western finest.

When I say that the entire city parties I mean just that, but not without a few side effects. Many couples have a no cheat rule with the exception of Stampede. During this time the statistics of couples breaking up or divorcing are three times as high as at any other point during the year. As well sexual health clinics are absolutely bogged down with additional testing and prescriptions being handed out. Liquor, slutty dressed men and women certainly gets the libido flowing. And yet the smell of mini doughnuts and bbq’d meat on a stick makes every fond memory of the years prior come flooding back. The memory of two stepping with some amazingly talented firemen, the great live bands and nightly firework shows are a few of the PG memories.

Stampede for many is a western festival with which to celebrate our slutiness, male and female alike. A massive place where inebriation aids in blurring the lines of our inhibitions. There is comfort in numbers and the stats play to the advantage of the slut, where you have 10 days with which to gain some confidence and approach an appealing partner unlike Halloween where you have only one night to accomplish that sometimes difficult feat. Proudly I am a Calgarian who tries to safely show off my inner slut for a few days out of these 10 with some amazing company. Thanks to all who make this the best city to live in, love or hate the Stampede it is a place of tight jeans and even shorter skirts and I would not have it any other way.