Tag: aftershock

Aftershocks, Energy Flow, and Actually Feeling Re-Filled?

    K Ghislaine
Aftershock Bliss

So, let me continue with my exploration of aftershocks and energy.  In my last piece I aimed to better describe what I was feeling when in comes to my world of aftershocks.  Thankfully, it resonated with a person I was failing to describe it in words to, so yay me!  And now, if you will indulge me for a moment to take it a step forward, and discuss what happens after the aftershocks: the formation of my energy cycle.

In the past, I have been with men who sucked the energy out of me.  Thus, my role was an exhausting endeavour to find new sources of energy for myself, so then I can give it to my loved ones.  Obviously this, is not sustainable, especially long term.  It works for a while because I love feeling needed and wanted, but if for whatever reason that wains (which of course it would), well… it’s a disaster.  Now, as much I try to be aware of this negative energy cycle, I must admit that I am attracted to this feeling of being wanted, and thus, it is difficult for me to actually break.  That being said, I think, I may have just found the thing that may once and for all break my determination to fall headfirst into this pattern, and that is in finding someone who creates an energy flow with me.

I’ve felt snippets in the past, but if I am completely honest, they result from sexual energy alone.  If we are having sex with the frequency of rabbits, then it works well.  But, relationships, and life always seem to get in the way of that being sustainable.  So imagine me being completely unprepared for what I have been experiencing over the past little while.  And that my friends is feeling re-filled by a person, and if I am reading things right, him feeling the same.  It’s like we complete each other? 

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I don’t know if I am getting ahead of myself, and describing something that is more NRE (new relationship energy) rather than something far more.  But this does have all the telltale signals that it’s more than just the new.  We have been friends for many years.  We can talk about pretty much anything and everything.  We enjoy each other’s company.  We both think the world of each other, and can clearly express that.  Oh and the sex is amazing.  We have an intimate chemistry that just seems to work on a level beyond words or direction. That being said, when direction is given it is understood and taken to the absolute next level with enthusiastic gusto. 

Ooph!  I’m a puddle just thinking about that.  Anyways, back on track.  Wait… was there a track?  Or is this it.  Finding an energy loop that works for two people?  With little bolts of aftershocks to fuel you for the moments you are apart?  Is this what people are looking for?  Or the lucky ones having already found?  If this is the relationship secret, then, I am all aboard.  Of course, nothing is perfect, or without problems.  For us, it will be time and space.  Oh, and being very different people, who are inherently stubborn fools.  But… there is something here worth exploring.  Worth every single fantasy.  And absolutely worth the effort on both our parts. 

If I am jumping the gun, and putting this out into the world prematurely, then so be it. I am feeling these intense feelings right now, and they are valid.  Right or wrong, or even if they are felt as strongly by the other side really doesn’t change my excitement, or feeling of sheer bliss right now. And with that, I have started an energy cycle that I hope remains my norm for years to come. Breaking away from being the relationship battery if you will.

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Aftershocks and Metamorphs

    K Ghislaine
Pondering Metamorphs

There is an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation with a metamorph.  This beautiful woman is a rare anomaly that has the ability to perfectly match and imprint with her partner.  When that happens she becomes his perfect match, in every single way, basically living for him. I’ve been thinking a lot of that episode as I am going through this period of transition.  I was forced to find myself while still living with an ex.  Thanks a lot Covid, depression, illness, and of course financial woes. The last few years have been a lot, and while I tried earnestly to just make the situation work, the reality was, I just had nothing left to give.  And in that drained state of being this idea of a metamorph kept creeping in.  Who am I?  What do I love to do?  What are my sexual preferences? Oh, aftershocks, (which I will explain shortly)!

I have written a few articles about being gender and relationship fluid.  I love exploring that side of me, however, it has been a real challenge to accomplish without the full support of a partner.  It is difficult for me to just let go with strangers.  I need that safety. That intense, passionate person by my side who I can be myself with, and explore all the little dark sides of my personality with.  Picture “I want to be evil” as my soundtrack as I write this out.

It seems to me, that being friends with a potential lover, before jumping into the sack with them, and showing intimacy is the only way that I can ensure that I don’t fall into the metamorph trappings.  And I am terrified to admit, that I have actually been exploring that with a human being, and well, the feelings are more intense than I was expecting.  Not the whole falling in love thing (although I could see that happening).  It is more, the intense aftershocks I feel when we are apart. This is difficult to explain, but I am going to try simply because I want to open some dialogue, to see if others experience this, or know what this is.

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So, imagine you are intimate with someone.  You have an experience or a moment that is unique to the situation.  A touch, a phrase is said, a special embrace, or a new sexual experience.  In the moment everything is amazing, and hot as fuck. Sexual satisfaction all around.  OK.  Now here is the aftershock part as best I can describe.

At various moments over the next few days, my mind will wander, as it does, and I will remember the moment his hand touched my thigh for the first time.  What follows for me is a flushed face, a gasp of breath, and the actual feeling of electricity bolting throughout my body.  I will think about that whisper in my ear about him cumming, and boom, I am thrown back into this orgasmic lightning bolt of a moment again. And then I remember the feeling of just being held in his arms, and it’s the same. Words, sensations, visuals, they all can offer this aftershock. And the experience of memory isn’t something that my friends can relate to. Maybe it’s because I have troubles articulating it in words, because often when I try, I just blush and get tongue tied.  And if do dare to imagine, just typing this out, I am a complete puddle. It’s as if my memories control my orgasms for a brief but intense moment. Does that make any sense? Did I type that correctly? Please know, I am trying… for science!

Now here is the one thing I’ve noticed, I cannot relive the same memory with the same intensity.  It has to be new ones, and when I try to replay a memory that I know I got that after effect release from, the feelings it arouses are muted down, and often times, non existant. And I suspect, this is why I have always been so eager to explore new situations when it comes to sex.  That desire to have these aftershocks in my life forever would be my absolute bliss.  But… I have to be very careful that they are my experiences.  They have to be organic.  What I mean by that is, I am susceptible to being an enigma who just follows her partner around.  And I do find that hot as well, just with a different level of intensity. I love pleasing people, and I cannot shut that empathetic part of my being off. So, on the idea of falling into the metamorph role, I can do that, but I think I prefer aftershocks? Maybe? Oh that game of balance and life eh? Clearly I need to do a whole lot more exploration on the subject, right?

So, in closing, who else has experienced aftershocks?  Is this a thing? Do you have metamorph experience? Do you enjoy just being someone’s perfect lover? Let’s talk about it! I might do a little behind the scenes photo shoot for my Patreon subscribers if we get some good dialogue going… Maybe 😉