I have worked my butt off to be great when it comes to relationships. I even wrote a post touting all the books that helped shape who I am as a person, and why I communicate the way I do. Wonderful! I have done extensive writing, journaling, and research into chasing butterflies, and dealing with aftershocks and all the fun moments in time that I have experienced over the years. Amazing. Yay me! Then I went a step farther and read a book called “Why We Love” by Dr. Anna Machin. Even better, now I could add to my resume, the scientific knowledge behind why love is so important to how we socialize as humans. Our basic survival actually depends on it. Again, Wow! My pragmatic and rational side really came through for me, but wait, never once did I talk about falling in love.
Why? Because honestly, that just wasn’t something I factored into the equation. In fact, I think I had been so jaded about the whole finding someone to spend time with, I forgot that part even existed. And that’s not entirely my fault, well, maybe it is. I know I fell in love with my ex fiance. But, honestly, I can’t remember what that felt like. Sure it was a long time ago, but also, pretty much everything in my life was going on. I met him at the tender age of 17, when we were both in university, and we just fell into stride with one another. Experiencing pretty much every first in tandem, builds something pretty unique, but, honestly, nothing all that memorable.
Then there was my next long term partnership, which was pretty much non-stop adventure. And love, just wasn’t logical in the sense of anything I had experienced before. And because that is such a tough one to explain, I am almost finished writing an entire book on it. One thing I don’t think I touched on in it, and maybe I should add it to the summary is how we came to the conclusion of love. I think I said it about 6 months into the relationship, and I believe he said it back about 6 months after that. It was slow as molasses. And it wasn’t the experience of falling in love. It was more of an inevitability that grew into a partnership.
Here I sit though, realizing that I am falling head over heels for someone pretty incredible. I actually am experiencing the whooshing of falling feeling, and the holy shit this is moving way to fast, but… I don’t want to stop or catch my breath. The whole desire to spend every waking moment with him is so supremely real that I cannot help but laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. And yet, we are both so happy, ready for this, and open to seeing where this goes. The idea that your person is out there, you can actually talk about everything and your bodies fit together in magical perfection? Brain is exploding here. I’m 39, and I am experiencing firsthand the concept of falling in love, and redundant or not, I love it.
Thank you to everyone who has helped the book writing process by fuelling me with beer via my Patreon!