Shark Week and My Favorite Product

As I am placing my own order for Softcups (on Amazon.ca) I realized that I never actually shared with my dear readers the product that so amazingly improved my sex life during that dreaded time of the month.  And as I am not a selfish person and have often been accused of oversharing, I figured that this would not only keep in line with that, but also share the little secret to my ability to have sex, pretty much whenever I choose to.  So without further ado, let me introduce you to Soft Cups.  Firstly, I should mention that I love them to pieces and yes, if you click the link and add it to your shopping cart you will be helping both of us out which is a win/win.  And no, I am not being paid directly to sponsor them I just share products I love from time to time.

I started using soft cups about 3 years ago.  And I will be quite honest, I initially bought them because I was just damn tired of tampons.  There was a lot of hype going around regarding diva cups, and I wanted to learn more as I tend not to rush into new things especially when it involves entering my body.  Upon reading a bunch of new products in the market, I found something that totally intrigued me, Soft cups.  These stood out because they claimed that you could have sex while wearing them.  And well, how could I not race out to try them?

For you see, that has always been a great difficulty for me sexually.  I want complete control over my body, even during that time of the month.  And spontaneous sex is just not always possible during the messy time and that puts limits on my sex life.  Carrying around products like No More Wet Spots Blanket (which has a really sexy banner on my website) is practical and opposite to the whole spontaneity that I crave.  Rolling up to a party with super sexy, post sex hair and that healthy glow is incredible and I want that whether or not I am on shark week.  So I bought my first box and then let it sit on bathroom floor for 3 cycles while I mustered the courage to stick one in the first time (I told you I don’t race into these things).

And let me tell you, the very first time, was a total mindfuck for me.  I followed the instructions to a T and at hour 12 when it came time to switch it out (did I mention that you get to wear it for 12 hours??? So amazing) I won’t even lie, it got stuck.  Well, not stuck per se, but there is definitely a trick to breaking the seal on it.  It sits right below your cervix so the seal is amazing and offers very minimal leakage but as I said, there is a bit of learning curve with getting it out.  But my goodness once that curve is over come it is a game changer.  I do not feel it at all during the day.  I can have sex whenever I want, and being so active in the summers, it is a dream to use, especially when camping.  Only having to use a real washroom in the morning and evening is completely do able, whereas with tampons, it is an every time you pee ordeal.  And let’s not even mention pads during the hiking/camping season, ugh!

Whenever I have sex with new people, I always tell them I am wearing one, because there is still the chance of leakage, and there are few positions that my partner can feel it.  But over all, it has been a resounding success and a remarkable improvement to me holding more power over my own body and sexual needs.   So, I would highly recommend you giving them a try if you are ready for a change.

Now if only we could do something about this whole bra thing…

Silicon Lube and Mattresses Don’t Mix! A PSA

My partner and I have the most amazing set up in our bedroom ever!  Basically, we have a room for beds (post has a very sexy picture!).  But finding the perfect queen sized mattresses was a bit of a process, during which we discovered that while silicon lube is amazingly fun for the sexy times, it is also a nightmare to clean.  I have included quick links to all products mentioned both for clarity, and because they are amazing products that I am proud to be an affiliate for.  So without further ado here is my story, and what I hope will be a warning to all out there to not make the same mistake, and if you do, the only solution that worked!

Once upon a time, a man and a woman decided that for the sanity of their relationship, purchasing two queen sized beds was not only the sleep system they needed, but the one they both deserved.  And thus the hunt for the perfect mattresses began.  And after much deliberation and product testing, the two agreed upon a set that fit their budget and hopefully their ultimate ZZZ regiment.  The two quickly christened their new bed, and after the fun was over, haphazardly placed the silicon lube in between the two mattresses.  With the lube out of sight, and out of mind, the pair went on with their testing of the mattresses and sadly decided that their first purchase was just not to be.

With a vacation quickly approaching, the two asked for an extension to exchange their mattresses and this was generously granted (this is a key component of the treacherous tale).  So upon returning from their vacation, the hunt for the actual best mattresses began, nearly 2 months after their initial purchase.  They tested, and tried.  Snuggled on all sorts of beds for what seemed like weeks on end until finally they fell in love with their would be forever mattresses!  Rejoice! The two celebrated the up coming day of exchange.  But, uh oh!  Upon washing the sheets in preparation for the next week delivery a nasty stain was discovered on not one, but on all the mattresses and box springs!  The culprit… that sneaky bottle of silicon lube!  It had been put in upside down and the stain had set without either party noticing.

Panic quickly ensued as the two raced to good ole google to source out the best way to remove the nasty stain.  And if anyone out there has researched a similar query it turns out that time is of the essence.  After nearly 3 months of the stain sitting it had set.  It looked as if all hope was lost.  And for those of you wondering, yes, the exchange was dependent on a stain and tear free product.  There is no giving up allowed in the quest for the perfect night sleep!  The room was torn apart, and the mattresses and box springs placed stain side up, so I could begin the assessment and start preliminary testing of cleaning techniques.

Would soap and water be enough?  Nope.  How about some Oxy clean?  Nope.  My favorite secret cleaning tool of Club Soda was also a total bust.  Ok, this was getting a little freaky.  The research rabbit hole lead us from kitchen cleaning sites, to sex toy blogs, and nothing, nadda was powerful enough to fix our current situation.  Finally, there was a eureka moment… let’s turn to science.  What product out there actually breaks down silicon?  The answer was daunting, Mineral spirits, which is a fancy name for turpentine!  How in the hell was I going to clean the mattresses (which were black by the way) and not destroy them, or myself in the process?  Let me share with you my process.

Cleaning Silicon Lube from a Mattress (or 4)

1) Ventilate the room as this stuff in incredibly flammable.  I had the window open, and two fans going at all times.

2) Wear protection including a ventilator, eye protection and gloves.

3) Spot check a teeny tiny little spot and cross your fingers that none of the colour leaches out.  And check that the fabric does not start to breakdown or the fibres break apart.

4) Then grab a tooth brush, dunk it in the spirits and start breaking down that silicon with tiny little semi circular motions.

5) Rinse thoroughly with cold soapy water to prevent the chemicals from penetrating too deep into the mattress.

6) Repeat all steps until the stain is lifted.

Now here’s the thing, I repeated this same process twice daily for 4 full days.  And in the end, even with all the ventilation it still stunk to high hell of gas fumes.  So, I did what any person, desperate to get the full refund back does, I dosed it with Fabreze, followed by citrus soap, and Febreze again.  After nearly a day of just sitting there, soaking all the scent masking, I was finally satisfied enough to make the exchange.  And amazingly, it went off without a hitch!  And I was so relieved as they actually sent in an inspector for the task!  The stain in all four pieces was adequately lifted, and I had created a fresh and clean scent that hid all trace of the harsh chemicals used.  But let me tell you, for all the success at the end, it was hard freaking work, and a process I hope never to have to repeat.  So, do yourselves a favor, and don’t leave silicon lube to set.  Or better yet, be proactive and start using a water proof blanket designed specifically for messes in mind such as the Waterproof blankets for “intimate” play!.  I could have saved myself both the emotional stress and actual headache I received from this harrowing adventure by being preventive and not waiting until the last minute to clean the stain.

 

Couples Sex Toy? Oh My… YES! [Product Review]

When I saw an e-mail go out a few weeks back asking if anyone wanted to review the “We-Vibe Match Couples Vibrator” I pounced on the opportunity.  If you have been reading my blog for any length of time you probably know that I do not endorse products unless I love them, which usually means that there are a few awesome book recommendations and that’s about it.  So for me to get totally stoked for an opportunity like this, you know it has to be good!

And if you follow me on twitter you may have seen my teaser post showing how I was beyond stoked when my little brown box of goodies arrived.  And by goodies, I do mean that it contained not only sex toys, but chocolate!  So right from the get go, Betty’s Toy Box, had my full attention and I was so excited to do some real world product testing!  So let’s get the specs out of the way so we can get onto the fun shall we?  It’s a product designed in Canada and made out of silicon, so right away, my sex positive little brain was happy.  And I was delighted to find that it had a variety of buzzing options (10 to be exact) operated by a teeny tiny little remote, which I bravely placed in my partners hand after the recommended 90 minute USB charging was complete.  The toy itself fits comfortably in the palm of your hand at just slightly over 3″ and comes with a 2 year warranty!  Phew, that’s done.  So with our water based lube in hand we were ready to get testing!

Now, because it’s a couples toy, the actual U shaped vibrator is designed for hands free play.  So you can insert it, for a buzzing pleasure enhancement of the clitoris and internal experience.  But we really wanted to see what it could do before inserting.  So my partner and I explored just how powerful the vibrations would be on his shaft.  And my my, was that ever fun!  With a tongue out and buzzing penis placed on it, he excitedly pressed all the buttons to see just what the power level could ramp up to!  And it did not disappoint.  It held on comfortably, but not too tight when placed at the base of the shaft and that motor could clearly be felt on the tip of my tongue!  Obviously, I was beyond excited at this point and ready to use it for its intended purpose, which was a vibrator on my clitoris, and the flatter side of the U shape comfortably inserted right inside me.

And once his penis was all lubed up, he transformed from a thrusting power house, to a vibrating enhanced pleasure rod!   It was fabulous.  With him clicking away, we finally settled on a rising crescendo for the duration of our first testing.  It created an additional intensity that was both exciting to anticipate and explosive when the high was hit.  The sensory overload this created was absolutely amazing, even though it was not quite hitting my clitoris.  For me, I need constant and direct pressure applied, so while it didn’t hit my mark consistently, that is not a flaw of the toy, just a bodily difference that I have.  The overall erogenous zones were most assuredly hit, and with the comfortable silicon material the only thing that was a little jarring was the cold lube (I am more used to silicon, but water based is the way to go with toys).

After a bunch of amazing orgasms as a couple, I had to try the toy all my own too.  And it did not disappoint.  While I typically prefer external toys for personal play, there was something pretty erotic to using this particular toy all by myself.  It didn’t stay in place without a partner, but it did offer very competitive buzzing and a selection of playful settings to that of my trusted hot pink vibrator (by Fun Factory).

So in keeping this brief and sexy, if you are looking to add an little extra oomph in the bedroom or simply enhance your already amazing playtime, I would highly recommend the We-Vibe Match.  It is noticeably smaller in size than it’s predecessor, so I feel comes off as less intimidating and much more comfortable, even for a new user.  And with this, nothing was taken away from the power of it.  In fact, it charges faster, and lasts longer than the We-Vibe 3.  In short, a job well done, and incredibly satisfying.  So to all you sex positive, amazing couples out there, please check the couples vibrator by We-Vibe through this handy link.  And if you’re looking for something a little different, by all means shop away Betty’s Toy Box’s website using my handy little affiliate link!  Happy shopping and sexing!

Do you want to join in the conversation?  Please consider joining my Patreon!

My Swinging Advice to Single Males

In light of my recent posts on swinging I have been getting quite a few newbies, ok, just very curious singles males looking for a little insight into the lifestyle.  After thinking long and hard about all the keen men wanting to see what swinging really is like, and asking me for tips to get inside one, I decided to write this little post.  And you’re probably not going to like it.  If you are a single man, I don’t want to help you get into the swinging scene, period. I don’t want to be responsible for you or your newly discovered fantasy.  And I don’t want to create a place that gives you insight and confidence to come on your own, and satisfy your passing curiosity into the lifestyle that I have come to really enjoy.

Why, you might ask yourself?  Simply put, because a bunch of lurking single men will ruin everything I love about the lifestyle!  Sorry, not sorry!  If you are looking for easy access, I firmly say no.  Instead, I want men who have done their research because this is something they have been interested in for a while, let’s say more than a trifling fancy.  They have strong communication skills, can write their application on their own, and have a healthy respect for the word no.  They have worked on their social skills, have some charm, love to flirt, and maybe a little devious.  Oh, and they have a partner.

Swinging is about couples (I don’t care what gender), nudity, and of course sex.  Oh, and if you haven’t heard, it’s about strengthening a healthy relationship or adding some amazing spice.  It is not a lifestyle that flourishes with single men who are looking for a live porn show.  Or have heard rumors that it is one big orgy and they just have to see it in person!

Now, if you have been reading my blog for a while you might be calling me out for hypocrisy in direct reference to a post I wrote about single women.  And while I try to be more sympathetic and educate myself to the currently evolving gender norms I don’t believe that the average man wants to experience a swing club for the reasons that I encourage woman to do so.  Women are beautiful creatures, and typically are more emotionally mature than men are.  So, a couple will have less to worry about with a group of women watching them sex it up, than a group of men.  I have no gender bias as far as couples, but I fully admit I have a strong one when it comes to singles, and for me, it’s women only.

Swing clubs thrive on reputation, and great word of mouth.  They cannot just advertise on a big billboard and have large neon signs as normal bars can.  So, ensuring that a couple has an amazing time is important.  The party organizers want you to come back.   They want you to use the venue to set up future dates, and invite new swinger friends to come and play there.  So, if a club gets a vibe for being seedy, dirty or filled with a bunch of dicks it will falter, quickly.  It is risky business and probably would have a difficult time re-branding itself if it took a path not conducive to the average swinging clientele.  If a vanilla nightclub gets a reputation for being a meat market, then they start advertising their butts off to get the ladies back.  Meat markets are not inviting places to mingle, socialize and flirt.  A swingers, club would drown before they even had the chance to re-brand.

Again, I know how sexist this post is coming across.  I love men and I do love dicks, as evidence by the huge prideful grin in this posts photo!  And my first time at a swing club was on a night that allowed single men.  But I quickly realized that the line between creepy and sexy is just too fine.  I want to be comfortable and sexually free.  I do not want to worry about giving the wrong impression or having to refrain from dancing with my panties off on top of a bar (have you read that post yet?).  So, I now only attend nights that are for couples and single ladies.  There is nothing more uncomfortable than some slimy dude walking around with dick in hand, giving it a tug with each new view he sees.  And the men who lose control and shamelessly wank it, have ruined it for many in the community.  Women do not regard this behavior as a friendly hello or an approval of their sexy performance.  Instead it is viewed as intrusive, lacking decency and void of all permissions.  Many clubs have couples only areas for this very reason.  Men, you don’t always use your best judgement when the blood flows away from your top brain.  It’s not your fault per se, but it is a reality that hard lines and rules have had to be put in place to keep the clientele coming back.

So, I’m sorry, but until you can be trusted it is a no go for single men new to the lifestyle.  Put your time in.  Do your own research.  Find a female friend to go with.  And dip your toes in with an appreciation for this couples focused, and incredibly sexy scene.  And stop freaking asking me to vouch for you!

Want to be part of the dialogue?  Consider joining my Patreon page!