There is ample scientific evidence from both our past and present to support the notion that women are more fluid in their sexuality than men are. And thus, this post may hit home with some more than others, depending on your current understanding of your relationship norms. Either way, here goes, I have nearly broken free of all relationship labels in non-monogamy. Why would anyone want to do that you may ask yourself? Aren’t labels a good thing, that add definition and context to your life? Well, let’s just call me an outlier, again, because I just don’t fall into a specific category and there is a really great reason. And no, it is not because I just haven’t found myself or my place in society yet.
If you read my post on the labels that online dating sites place on people, you may already have gleaned that I am not a fan of labels or being part of a category. But there is much more to it than just not wanting to be mis-identified or put into a little box. As I get older, and more comfortable with who I am and what I want, I have really embraced the celebration of individuals and all of their relationship styles. And in that, I want to explore a bunch of different ways of living, and just be that person who goes with the flow so to speak. Ok, I’m not sure that quite drives the point home. This is actually a little tough to explain, so let me try this.
I know some incredibly rad people, and if you caught my post on married men, you will know that I have a special attraction for them. But here’s the thing, being attracted to them puts some very specific restrictions on me, and in almost every case I have a look but don’t touch sort of role. And while I may whine from time to time that I wish I could have more, the truth of the matter is, being along for the ride in someone else’s relationship is a pretty unique experience. I exist on their terms. I am an extension of their dynamic, and I find that pretty intense. It’s a unique opportunity to be in place where anything could happen, and I just don’t know when. It’s an off kilter kind of sensation, which is exciting to a person who always strives for balance in their life.
The other part of this is, it allows me to fully be attracted to individuals. I don’t see gender as much as I grow up and experience the world. In fact, there are an increasing number of females or androgynous type humans who I find my stomach doing a little leap for. Because that is fairly new territory for me, there would be zero frame of reference, box, or label that I could put myself in should the next steps occur. It would be uncharted territory, whereby, within the outside framework of non-monogamy in all my current dynamics, everything else would be fluid.
Yes, I think that’s how I can be describe this. My relationships are fluid. My breaking away from monogamy has brought me to the realization that a box or a label will just not satisfy me. I’m an explorer, a lover of new things, different relationships, and people in general. I am the eternal optimist, with whom, even when times are tough, I still believe that people are good, have so much to offer and can teach me things I haven’t even considered. I have broken free of labels. I live the mantra of breaking away from monogamy everyday, and I am loving it!!!
Now I feel it only fair to mention that there are moments that being so fluid, or going along with the relationships flow can be a challenge, especially for my partner. Often, he asks me to be more assertive, and go for what I want. Someone has to make the first move, and as I admittedly am the more picky of the two of us, I am working on being more assertive from the onset, and then backing off, into a role that better fulfills my desires. It is a challenge, and as we are starting to get more active in dating together I am pretty sure I will be writing a post or two on how that is actually going.
Did you know that my Sex Positive podcast BreakingAway is now in full swing? Have a listen on most major podcast sites including Spotify and Anchor. And if you want to get in on all the behind the scenes action, consider subscribing to my Patreon page.