The Halloween Siren

I love dressing up!  I also love meeting new people and socializing.  Halloween house parties are the perfect place to do this, and I am lucky to say for the past two years I have gone to the same house party in which I only know the people I arrive with.  This may be intimidating to some, however for me it has become quite exciting and interesting.  I show up, with bare ass (part of my costume of course!) to dance, drink, and mingle with a group of people I have no clue what they look like without makeup.  This year, there was an added element in that E was not able to attend due to work.  So, here I am, a completely unknown lady in a devil suit with an open butt flap, partying with strangers.
5 years ago, had I been in the situation I would not have left the wall.  I would have held my drink firmly in my hand, waiting for people to approach me, well, until the level of booze rid me of my inhibitions.  I would have been nervous and intimidated that all these people knew each other around me, and were judging this person who showed up to invade their little clique.  And please do not get me wrong, I do know that these people do still exist, in fact I had one lady at the party imply just that to me.  And the thing is, it really did not matter to me.  I was not crushed, or insecure when I was told that me showing up alone with a bare ass two years in a row may be a sign that I have some sort of psychological issue that needs to be resolved or at least dealt with.  It actually barely phased me, aside from me having a good laugh and continuing to have a fantastic time at the party.  The thing I feared so much for so long, was really no big deal when it finally happened.

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I should clarify that I was never the wallflower for long.  Once I got my stride or booze, was comfortable in my surroundings then I was ready to socialize.  And this party was no different.  It takes a moment or two to acquaint yourself with a new place, get a vibe and figure out what part of the room to begin with.  Also to make the big decision of whether undoing the buttons on your buttflap is actually party appropriate and if in the end it really matters.  Obviously the buttons were undone right after I poured my first drink.  And I must say, although I truly missed having E at the party along side me, I was perfectly comfortable and confident to walk around complete strangers, making conversation and dancing with my butt hanging out.  Hmm, maybe I am really focused on my tushie and should look into the reason why?  I jest of course.
What I found surprising was that I, being the stranger, had confidence, whereas this group of people who presumably knew each other, displayed moments of insecurity and outright jealousy over a few of my actions or just my presence there.  Last year with E by my side, I was slapped on the ass, congratulated for showing it off, and told if you’ve got it flaunt it.  All by confident and happy women.
This year, there was a bit of that, however it was over shadowed by distrust obviously fuelled by me being alone.  I counted 6 separate times that people came up to me, to ensure that I knew and was not embarrassed that my ass was hanging out.  Various reactions occurred when I replied that of course I knew and that was what a butt flap was for.  I even went so far as to tell one lady that I was taking pictures for my boyfriend, yeah it did nothing to improve her mood.  Most surprising though, was the women who interrupted when I was talking to their significant others and then would take them away.  I felt like the siren at the party.  Being typecast as that chick every woman must keep their eye on and protect their men because of my devilish ways.  Honestly, I have not felt that feeling in such a long time, I had forgotten the steps I usually try and take to prevent any distrust and put people at ease.  Which oddly turned out to be a good thing.  It is not my job to protect the feelings of every person in the room.  And that it is ok to polarize people at a party by being myself.  I have grown from the desire to win over a room, to just being myself, even if I was being a little bit of a siren, or just being a devil.
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Birthday Fantasies Stopped in the Making

With my 30th birthday being an inevitable reality, I have been looking into a little spice shall we say.  Just putting out some sexy feelers and perhaps starting my 30’s with a very fun night or two.  So far it is not going as smoothly as I had hoped, and with that said, I am running into some surprising roadblocks.  As I wrote in my last piece, I am always surprised that people encourage others to sleep with strangers.  I may be a little old fashioned in my thinking, but I prefer to get down and dirty with people I actually know, so there is accountability for safety, and feelings should they arise.  Now I am not saying that I sleep with all or even any of my friends, but a little conversation prior to is a must for me.

NoMoreWetSpot.com

Now here is the situation that had me almost rolling my eyes.  A guy that I have chit chatted with for a couple of months has a fantasy.  A fantasy very similar to the one linked here.  Now this is something that although I find pretty hot under the correct circumstances is not exactly what I had in mind for my 30th.  So I put out the feelers to see if the chick he is seeing would be interested in a foursome.  The reply was that he liked her, and that he would not be willing to share someone he liked, and if I wanted he could try and find someone else.  I have heard similar things said many times on the great big interweb, but never once have I actually encountered this in real life.  I suppose that I convinced myself that there is no sex negativity in the people I choose to associate with.  Or maybe that they would not be silly enough to admit these thoughts to me, knowing full well that I write this stuff down and share it!
The bottom line for me is that people who sleep together are not objects devoid of thoughts and feelings.  To exclude a person because you care about them just fundamentally seems wrong to me.  That is the very person that you should talk to about fantasies, about doing fun things together.  If they are not into it, that is perfectly fine, but they should not be excluded.  Does it not make more sense that your sex life be as exciting as possible with those you love and care about rather than reserved for strangers?  Why should we give up certain fun times just to be in a committed relationship?  I would much rather strive to have all good things, and not compromise, or allow myself to be compromised.
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Sex is Just Sex?


Sex is a subject that bears with it great emotion.  I know that statement goes without saying but I thought it was worth stating.  I have a lot of emotion attached with sex and have often found that the height of my need to say loving words is during this intimate event.  Afterwards though I have an odd relief that I kept my mouth shut and that realization that the physical is just physical overrides.  I wonder if I am alone in this?  Passion overtakes the rational at moments of weakness and sex certainly is one of those moments.  So where does that leave us? In the end sex can be physical, emotional, or at times both.  Where do we draw that line?

As a relationship progresses the desire for the emotions I find becomes stronger outside the physical act and to me that is where love really begins.  Love is growth, a bond and understanding of people with the desire to support each others goals.  Or to quote the dictionary:

love

 [luhv] Show IPA noun, verb, loved, lov·ing.
noun
1.a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
2.a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.
3.sexual passion or desire.

But wait, how exactly does point three come into play?  Isn’t that the definition for sex and not love?  If even the dictionary cannot keep these terms and definitions clear for the English speakers than how exactly are we to keep these things clear and level headed? To me there is a great difference between sex and love.

I know a couple who are very career oriented people and are living abroad.  They have been together for quite a long time, and being career oriented there was some long distance elements to their relationship.  When one or the other would have to come home to Canada to visit family or take additional courses the understanding was always that yes they would have physical needs apart.  And that was absolutely OK with both parties.  To go out and have a casual night here or there was almost encouraged as both parties were doing the same.  This couple has been together for many years and have just welcomed their first child.  This child is being born to two very successful parents in the most loving and forward thinking environment that I have seen.

Now I will admit that when I first was told of the understanding this couple had I was very judgmental about the whole arrangement. I kept my mouth shut and supported my friends but I often wish I would have asked more questions from the couple.  It didn’t seem like being open or discussing was even a possibility.  It was their life and they could live it how they chose as long as I didn’t have to ever lie about what I knew.  This vow let me sleep at night, but something just didn’t seem right.  The most odd thing is that I had completely forgotten about this whole situation until a few days ago.  I have been writing this blog for over a month looking for real life scenarios and one was right under my nose the whole time.

This gives me a lot of hope.  That I could forget that this was even a point of some discomfort for me.  That my opinionated little self could look past their actions and support their new family with open arms.  This blog could one day be the norm and not need to be discussed and brought to the surface of our awareness.  That sex can be sex and that a relationship can be so much more than that. 

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Who Doesn’t Love Boobs?

I am a straight woman who loves men very much, but honestly I think it’s universally accepted that humanity loves boobs.  Men try not to oggle at that rack walking down the street, and woman look on with envious eyes.  The mesmerizing effect that the chest is challenged by very little else.  It is the power card women have over their male counterpart, boobs trump almost anything.

And this is the very reason that they are feared.  That men in power have tried many ways to repress and keep women in their place, pregnant, and barefoot in the kitchen.  Muslim women covered head to toe in cloth, or skirts past ones ankles in Mennonite colonies.  I am not a feminist or perhaps not a writer of feminist material, but I am against repression of any kind and after much research I am lead to believe that religion has done more to repress the feminine wiles than anything else out there.

I understand that the topic is up for some debate, but there is much research out there by such authors as Baigent, and Jordan which debate the most effective form of repression in woman today.  Turning Mary Magdalene, from a historically accurate wife (Jesus), to that of a prostitute.  Religious men are so fearful of a woman’s power that they change history to suit their needs, in this case, keeping a very powerful woman below the men around her.

There is so much ancient script where woman could almost reach godly status in their tribe or village.  Woman played key roles in ceremonies and the management of their people.  Why did men turn from adoring their women, to changing history and mandating dress code as forms of oppression?  It’s an unfortunate reality that in the 60’s a law needed to be passed that if a woman did the same work as a man, she had to be paid the same.  The legal world had to step up and force the populous to give fair wages.  Our elected governing body had more common sense than the entity so many out there entrust their immortal souls to, the church.

The bottom line though is that boobs get their way in many situations and men have little willpower against it.  Religion has guided so many in the direction of gender separation that I am hard pressed to find a religious male out there who knows how the female should be treated.  Either the woman is forced down, or put upon a pedestal possibly out of guilt?  I personally have hidden my own chest many times as I wanted to be judged for my wit and not the cleavage.  So I suppose even I am not yet past religions hold on societal views.  I hope someday woman can be proud to use their assets to benefit both themselves and that of the people around them without shame or judgement.  For now though, as long as we keep educating ourselves and asking why do we do the things we do, we can gain a complete understanding and make the changes necessary to ensure equality.

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