I wrote a few rant posts in a row this month so I decided to take a week off of posting (but not writing) to try and get my head back into the game and focus more on my blogs mission statement. It actually became so necessary for me to get back to my roots, in that I had to google my own blog to read exactly the title I gave it; Question Everything: Breaking Away From Relationship Norms. And that at the end of the day this is precisely what I want and love to write about. Every so often I may stray and write a bit of a political piece, for example a woman’s body in politics, or I may just feel compelled to write a letter to the Random Penis. But for the most part I aim to deal with relationships and the differences that exist for myself and those around me.
I am aware that my relationships are a tad outside of the box, and I think differences in viewpoints are worth exploring. The things you can learn about your own likes, and dislikes through sharing in the adventures of somebody else are constantly eye opening and at times remarkable. For example, when I tell potential men that I am in an open relationship the range of reactions is quite vast. The most common mis-conception I get though is the one in which people assume that this is a perfectly acceptable lifestyle for dating but once you are serious then monogamy is the only way to go. The notion that results is one of not being jealous until you love someone especially in the male to female dynamic. On the surface this may seem charming and sweet, but underneath it screams of insecurity and possessiveness. If you are alright with openness without feelings then quite honestly you are doing open wrong.
The people that you date have just as many rights and feelings as those you are in a long term commitment with. And if you are not able to love more than one person at a time there is something hugely missing in your life. Not just for people who date more than one person at a time, but also for those who believe and live the life of monogamy quite happily. My closest girlfriends (who are all monogamous as far as I know) take the time to tell me they love me, and I feel the same. This love takes nothing away from their committed partners, but rather adds to the richness of our lives in a completely platonic way. Although at this point I am not interested or prepared to love more than one man at a time, I do believe that any man I see outside of my relationship deserves respect and honesty. The stigma attached to open relationships and their failure rate is due in a large part to those people who say they are in an open relationship to merely save face or avoid being called a cheater.
But this will all be explored in much greater detail in my next post.