When I was in my early 20’s the idea of even walking into a sex store terrified me. My boyfriend, at the time, would have to go in alone and I would literally hide in the car so that no one could see me. After we did this a few times, I grew a little more comfortable and asked him to go inside and tell me if there was anyone creepy, and scope the place out for me. Still terrified of the answer, I remained in the car. Then one magical day I mustered up the courage to go and look inside. I touched NOTHING and barely even looked at anything. I was twitchy and grouchy, begging to leave as soon as possible. Completely insecure about what I was surrounded by and having no concept about the added pleasure that items in the sex store could provide. I felt a real threat by inanimate objects, and I bet I am not the only one out there who has felt like this at one time or another.
What really helped me loosen up was of all things, going to a sex toy party with my mom. I was squeamish and a little icked out. But all in all, I was surrounded by woman who were laughing, drinking wine, and celebrating their sexuality. We were all laughing at the ridiculous tingling creams, tasting the flavored lubes, and egging each other on to make purchases that would make our men swoon. It was amazingly liberating. Sex toys became fun, and were explained to me in a low-key and friendly environment. The woman at the party varied in ages from early 20’s (myself) all the way up to mid 60’s. And each and everyone there was having fun. Even the most timid woman who was in her 40’s surprised us all by bravely sampling the newest jelly concoction to increase the fires below.
After that point, my very irrational fears started to diminish. The thing that was never explained to me was suddenly shown in a really sex positive format. I wrongly had perceived sex toys as something used when things were not working, rather than aids to make things even better or just add some variety. I went from hiding in the back of my car at sex stores, to the woman here, writing about my relationships and things that give me joy from a sexual perspective. I have made quite the journey so far, and in my estimation it just keeps getting better and better the more open to new possibilities that I become.
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