I have always been confused by the men who refuse to hang out with me or want to wait to get to know me until I am single. I have difficulty comprehending the logic behind a man ignoring me while I am in a relationship and then pouncing when I am single. What message are you portraying? That a woman is only worth your time if she is single? Are you surrounded by only friends of the same gender? That sounds so boring, and offers you a very one sided perspective on the world. Perhaps you have been friend zoned once or twice and believe the myth that you can never leave the friend zone once you enter. The hint in that last sentence was the word myth…but I will save that for a different post.
If the message you would like me to extract from this type of behaviour, is that I am only fuckable, well then I am flattered. And you will never get in my pants. Being in an open relationship, you would deduce that this would be the perfect opportunity to try an only screw me, and yet dear guy, that is also not the case adding to my puzzlement. This sort of mindset could be part of a bigger problem,and that I predict relates directly to a lower than average success rate in you getting laid in general. It turns out that if a woman is seeking more than just a one time fling, sex is much more satisfying mentally and physically if there is a bit of history created. We like to know a bit about the guy that is going to try and stick something in us. Call us crazy if you will. If you would like a stat to give you a better frame of reference, there are a bunch of guys whose sole goal in life was getting laid, and they said the magic number was 7. Yes, 7 hours of time spent with a woman would result in giving a guy the best shot at getting in her pants. Whether you agree with this or not, the point is, it takes more than a few exchanged pleasantries to establish yourself enough to become intimate.
And my final speculation on the matter, is that you are just plain insecure. Whether the insecurities lead you to be jealous, depressed, self conscious or a whole heap of other emotional ailments, please keep your distance. I do not accept that sort of drama in myself, so clearly, I would not entertain that from a partner. I work hard to self reflect on the cause and effect of every negative emotion I have, especially when it affects those around me, and I can only imagine a world where everyone did the same. I am not your personal therapist, or self esteem coach. Men often remark on how important self confidence is in a woman, so it should be no wonder that woman would feel that trait is important in her mate too. I am not asking you to pretend to be interested in me, quite the contrary. Figure out why a person is only worth getting to know if they are single, what in your mind changes about that person. If they are not worth your time while they are partnered up, then I have troubles understanding why that changes when they are free. Thoughts and perspectives are always appreciated.