I have the choice on a weekly basis to post a little bit about myself or make a statement on how I view a situation that I have experienced. Just as I have a choice, you too have a choice to read or comment on that. Sometimes it hurts to know that the people who should be in your corner for better or for worse just do not have the capacity to do so. If members of my family and friends are not comfortable with reading my blog I am absolutely OK with that. I know there are things that I write with which a parent or long time friend just does not want to know about. Again that is perfectly fine, what I have a problem with is the people who have decided to treat me different as a result. It is one thing to have different views and opinions, it is quite another to allow those views sour a relationship. If you do not have the strength to say that you do not like something about me and would rather let it fester until the relationship dissolves itself then that is all on you. Also to try and attack me through my comments section of this blog adds very little to the conversation.
I write to help myself and keep my thoughts and feelings clear. I write in a blog because I am certain that there are people out there with whom share similar thoughts or feelings, or just have a morbid curiosity for the lifestyle that I am in. And a few very gracious people have even remarked that they just read because they like how I write, which always makes me blush. But honestly, to harbor feelings of anger, or angst towards me because of how I choose to live my life makes absolutely no sense to me whatsoever. I do not force my sometimes graphic content down anyone’s throat, again I write for myself primarily.
I wake up almost every morning thankful for the happiness that I have found and the meaningful relationships that I have developed. But these relationships do take at least two people and if there are things about me that you do not like, decide if you can overlook, or let it go. I have been closing the door to people who just do not make sense to keep in my life, and although it is a tough choice to make, I know that sometimes it is the only true way to obtain real happiness. I live for myself, and not for the comfort of those around me.
I challenge myself on a daily basis to be fair, kind, and a better communicator, striving to be more clear and concise. I set these challenges because I want the most out of life and the choices I make are my own. I am so impressed and amazed with the people who constructively challenge my ideas, and share personal stories to show me a different side of things. I write about subject matter that I have thought critically about and my hope is that it does the same for a few of you too. Don’t allow my lifestyle to affect you in a negative way. I am not a “crazy bitch”, rather I live honestly and seek to express myself and my sexuality in a positive way, with both words and pictures and damnit that is my choice!