I have always had a strange fascination with outlier groups and how they interact or even survive within society. And further to that, I am keenly interested in the opposites attract model, for example, the blending of opera and metal is a genre that still takes me down amazing rabbit holes from time to time. Polarization makes life interesting, for me at least from a historical and anthropological standpoint. So, when I discovered a user name that merged Red Pill and Swingers, my interest was piqued. I had researched red pill before, and have even mentioned them in this blog. So, I asked the question, can the red pill mentality exist in the world of swinging as defined by reddit/urban dictionary.
I won’t lie my gut reaction was disgust that a red pill thinker would ever dream of stepping foot into the world of swinging. Swinging is designed by default to give women full veto and control, under the assumption that the partners are on equal footing and both love the lifestyle. Whereby, in the red pill society, the men believe that cultural norms are working to remove males identity so they need to push back, often very hard. And yet, despite these two clashing views, I constantly see dynamics indicative of red pill believers or at least men who don’t value women to even an equal footing, interacting within the swinging world. It is ironic at best that they would want to play within the confines where there is even a possibility of female driven dynamic or full partnerships. Or perhaps they just don’t realize fully that this is so.
For example, I have seen men say that they have “allowed” their partner to have full control at clubs. And that they re-assure her constantly that all she has to do is say no, and the brakes will be applied. And yet, with these rules in place, breakdowns in communication occur. These men are confused by a woman slowing down, or using any word other than no, to take a break. For these male, the cultural norm is to respond to the word no, and no alone. Any other verbiage or body language finds him confused, irritated and unresponsive. This emotional lack of maturity or awareness breeds an unsafe environment. One that lends itself to drama or violence. I want no part of that. Instability does not work well within swinging or non-monogamy.
I don’t like taking a stance that one group cannot play nicely with another, and yet I personally would not trust my body in the hands of someone who feels that he is victimized in society by women. That his rightful place has been taken from him, and he needs to fight back. A man whose vocabulary includes definitions like these below, has no place in my bedroom:
- Snowflake – A woman who tries to persuade a man that she’s somehow unique, different, or special by playing up her good girl resume and downplaying her bad girl resume. When used as a verb, snowflaking refers to the argument she puts forth to justify her claim.
- Solipsism – In Red Pill, solipsism (e.g. female solipsism) refers to the female’s tendency to frame everything she experiences or witnesses in terms of herself and her own needs – personalizing it **- even when such personalization would not make contextual sense.
- The Wall – The point in a woman’s life where her ego and self-assessed view of her sexual market value exceed her actual sexual market value; the beginning of the decline. Usually occurs as a wake-up shock to women when they realize that their power over men was temporary and that their looks are fading. This usually results with first denial and then a sudden change in priority towards looking for a husband. Even after hitting the wall, many women will squander a few more precious years testing her SMV with alphas to double-check, hoping her perceived decline was a fluke, this will make her even more bitter when she finally has to settle for a worse-beta than she could’ve gotten before because of squandering her youth.
And I will say flatly that woman who are overtly feminists are difficult for me to interact with on a sexual level as well. However, I wouldn’t fear for my safety or well being from a woman, to the same degree that I would from a man. There is a visual size difference, and an assumption of unequal strength that are genetic and nothing to do with gendered acceptance.
Sexual freedom and expression is something I value highly. However, as I peruse the gendered outlier dynamics that stray away from equality (Red Pill, PUA, MRA’s), I have no choice but to conclude that they are a group that should not be interacting with swingers. And this conclusion surprises me greatly as I tend to find balance and some sort of middle ground in practically everything that I learn about. Here, I have found nothing redeeming or acceptable in subscribing to a group mindset that dismisses facts about current gender climate and creates an artificial way of thinking to further boost an ego at the direct repression of another. Red Pill thinkers and Swingers do not mix, and cannot find any rational reason, though I tried, to even entertain a middle ground. If they get in, I want out.
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