I honestly strive to be level headed, compassionate and understanding, especially to all those around me who are going through difficult times. I earnestly try to keep my overly critical comments to myself, and try to understand why I feel the need to be so harsh, rather than, whatever the opposite of an opinionated, judgemental so-and-so. In this post, I am breaking that silence, and saying to hell with it. I have a strong opinion on those who feel triggered by things in our society and then take great strides to try and ban or censor those things for other people. And basically, I think these people to need to grow up, and not project really shitty things that have happened to them onto others. I believe censorship teaches us nothing, and banning things directly violates our freedoms, and yes, I think less of you for wanting to impose your skewed belief onto me.
A few weeks ago, I had a friend tell me that she supported the banning of “Baby It’s Cold Outside” because every time she heard the lyrics, “what’s in this drink?” she felt triggered. It was a painful reminder of the situation that lead up to her first rape and she was in complete shock that I wrote about not wanting to ban it here. Now I know she shared this very painful moment with me to illicit sympathy and understanding as to what she went through every time she heard the song. The pain, is for her, still as fresh today as it was many years ago. And while I wanted to pause, and give her a shoulder to cry on, the realist in me took over and basically told her that regardless of her specific situation, banning a song would accomplish nothing. You cannot shelter yourself from that specific phrase for all time, and you have zero right to impose your pain on the rest of us. That is plain wrong. To take away something from me, that I love, because it causes you pain is the epitome of selfish.
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Here is what I equate this thinking to, in all it’s ridiculous form. Imagine, as I know many of us can, myself included, that the word rape makes you uncomfortable. Now imagine, for example that any form of that word would trigger in you some form of emotional response, as again, it does for so many of us. Now, let us imagine that you are shopping for peanut butter, and decide to quickly peruse the ingredient list to ensure that it is appropriate for your specific dietary needs, and BAM! Without warning, you see the word “rapeseed” listed innocently amongst the listed inclusions. And you, understandably, do a double take. Now, here’s where we see rational get overtaken by the emotional, because in that moment, you vow that you will never look at the word rapeseed again. You vow further to ensure that you a) never read an ingredient list again, or b) start petitioning food manufacturers to take this obscene word off of the list (screw anyone whose allergic to it) or c) you work in earnest to get this seed renamed for the sake of “all the children” who will be exposed to such a vile word (again not taking into the fact that this could have serious consequences for those who are unaware of the change and ingest it accidentally).
Yes, this example is ridiculous and way out in left field, but I do feel it makes a pretty clear point. When you are triggered, you do not think rationally, and that is completely understandable. I am not trying to shame your gut reaction. What I am hoping to accomplish here, is that you take a step back, perhaps remember this crazy illustration and maybe, take pause, to remember that censorship will not in fact heal you. It will not make you feel better in the long term, and it is selfish to try and impose your will on other people, especially when you have become overcome with emotion. Hiding behind the word triggered is just that, hiding. If you need to hide for a while for your own mental well being, then please, do what you need to. But know, imposing your pain on others does not make you a do-gooder… it makes you selfish. There, I said it. Sorry, not sorry!
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