False sex educators and the truth about female orgasms.
If you follow me on Twitter then you most likely have seen the interactions I have had over the last few months with a little account run by Jane. If not, here is a quick rundown. Jane likes to self promote herself as a sex educator and brags that she has over 20 years investigating everything to do with the female orgasm. She has no education in the field, instead she is financially so well off that she does this as a passion project and won’t let silly things like science get in her way. She constantly does shout-outs pleading with any women who orgasms to reach out, and talk to her about them, because according to her “women are terrified when talking about orgasms” “and only orgasm as part of the male fantasy”. When I started following her she had an impressive 208K following count, was asking lots of questions and seemed to be fairly responsive. I love reading anything to do with sex, and a women doing research on orgasms seemed like a really cool account to follow.
But then, it got a little weird. I remember reading one of her little quips which stated that a woman cannot orgasm through her cervix because it was not a sex stimulator and any women who claims to do so does not actually know what on orgasm is. Hmm… Well that just doesn’t seem right. And with a few internet searches of actual scientific research I found that this is not factually based. Phew, my body is not wrong according to science and I do know what an orgasm is. So, I did my due diligence and wrote to her about my own experience with being multi-orgasmic and a few links to the research I had just done. And very swiftly she removed herself as a follower of mine and I moved on with my life… until late last year when her name popped up again.
So I went onto her feed looking for information on any recent research she had about orgasms. One of my early posts on Quality versus Quantity of my own orgasms is a piece that I always wanted to expand a on, so I will be honest, I just filtered her many posts looking primarily for orgasm research. But what I found instead was alarming. She mentioned that women only get turned on by fantasy and erotica, and that physical stimulation is not a real orgasm in women. She went onto say that vibrators were an invention of the sex industry to help women fake orgasm and what a female achieves with one is not authentic. After being horrified for a few moments, I went on a quick, then filed her under the, “must be a troll” category and tried to get on with my life.
But honestly, with that many followers and so many mutual sex positive friends in common, I began to doubt. Why would all these people be following her too? I mean, I will be honest, when I first came across her account I questioned the validity of my own orgasms and actually did some research. So, while a troll she may be, this was bordering on dangerous. A self promoted sex educator who spouts things that sound click baity could actually be doing harm to those looking for help or knowledge. And that’s when I decided to start quoting, questioning and rallying a few people to take notice. And after a few weeks, I am very proud to say it worked.
I was blocked from her within the week of my mission. It turns out that she doesn’t accept anyone challenging her opinions. She believes that her ability to achieve orgasm once every two weeks makes her special and a unique individual, and therefor anyone who achieves more than that is misguided, uniformed, faking it, or just plain lying.
Being as open as I am, I take great offence in being called a liar. I can achieve multiple orgasms in a single session, in a wide varieties of ways including clitoral, internally (deep and… well not always so deep), and externally on various parts of the erogenous zones on my body. I am not including this to brag, but one of her accounts key points is that women will not talk about orgasms, that we afraid, ashamed, or just don’t achieve it, so it must be a myth for the majority. And I am hear to say loudly and proudly that each of us achieves sexual satisfaction in our own ways. They should all be celebrated, and explored and repeated whenever possible. So, thank you all for being part of this amazing sex positive community, and for those who interacted with her, thank you for asking questions, and sharing your own experiences. I hear and see your words!
If you want to view my behind the scenes gallery check out my Patreon!