Day after day, I see people sharing on social media that they are going to see their lifestyle friends, meeting up with a lover, or getting ready for that threesome or foursome. They are adding that, “don’t worry, they will be safe’. How? How exactly are you going to be safe? If you are doing anything other than staying in your home, practising physical distancing, you are NOT being safe. And to this, I am begging you to please stop it! Why? Because I desperately want to safely socialize with my amazing community again, and the longer it takes you to just stay put, the longer it is for everyone to get this pandemic under control.
Let us look at a simple example, lets say the person who is hosting this little sexual encounter of yours, has been to the grocery store, drug store, and liquor store to prepare (as is quite common). You, yourself have gone to the liquor store to be a thoughtful guest, and now, you are all coming together. You now all have unknown exposure to how many possible permutations of people and surfaces… all to, expose yourselves! Or perhaps you did everything right, and had food, condoms. and booze delivered, but, guess what? You decided to take the dog for a quick walk and got sneezed on by a stranger! Or inadvertently picked up the lid of that garbage to deposit the feces of your beloved pet. Will you have any symptoms, no, not yet. But, are you really going to cancel the night because of a maybe? No, probably not, because you have already chosen to meet up with a person outside of your household, defying the best advice of our hardworking doctors, medical experts, and scientists.
Are the risks really worth that? Is your libido that important that you cannot make a few sacrifices to just stay at home? How can people really be that selfish? How, can you possibly be that selfish?
I have not left my home in over a week. I am an extrovert, with a very high libido, who quite frankly is going stir crazy (that goodness for sex toys!). And, to protect myself, and removing temptation, I am not even signing into any online dating or non-monogamous group for the time being. I don’t want to be longing for the things that I just cannot have right now. I have sworn to put all of my non-monogamous physical activities on hold, because I want to come out on the other side of this healthy. And yes, if you are making the choice not to isolate, and instead are seeking out contact with other non-monogamous people in a physical capacity, you are being unethical. And furthermore, I am drawing a hard line, I don’t want you in my life!
It should be no surprise that I take such a hard stance on sexual safety, and this pandemic is no different. The risks are too great. I do not want our non-monogamous community to be sullied with people who think their libidos are of greater importance than that of society. I do not want to go backwards. There is already a “dirty” stigma of non-monogamy and if you perpetuate this by planning a threesome right now, then you, are an asshole! This is not the time for realizing your fantasies because guess what, we all suddenly have more time on our hands. NO! This is the time to hunker down, and stay away from people.
If we all do this now, we can get back to socializing sooner. If however you continue to socialize you are ruining it for everyone else! Please, put your physical non-monogamy on hold! Use this isolation for good, start reading blogs, listening to podcasts, or reading books about non-monogamy to make you a better participant when we all get out of this. Be a contributing member of the sex positive community, rather than somehow who is willingly putting others at harm or risk. Don’t be that asshole. Please put your non-monogamous sexual appetite on hold!
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Thank you so much for this. I hope people listen. I am an essential worker so I do not socialize with anyone after I get home and shower. I am so beyond upset that people are so cavalier in public and worse yet in the non-monogamous community. It is part of being ethical. I know 2 people who have lost family members to this and in age groups far younger than one would think. One was a 44 year old woman with children, her husband as tested positive…hoping their children do not become orphans. Was that harsh? It’s the truth. I am hating every customer that is coming acting like it’s another thing to get done while missing work…We are open for emergencies, necessary repairs, not to elevate boredom and to expose how many people and stop standing so close to me. I am lonely, touch deprived, horny, and missing my loves and the thought of other 30 days…but I rather I be well and they be well…and you be well…and when and I hope soon…the weather is warm and we are all clear…I will happy run around naked and be freely touching anyone who gives me consent.
This is harsh, but fair! Make the sacrifice now, so we can have a future of running around naked again!