My Wearable Vibrator!!!

Sex Toy – Review [Affiliate Links Inside]

AYA, Wearable Vibrator from Zalo

While I don’t review toys nearly as often as I probably should, when I do have the opportunity, hot damn do I ever have a fun time.  This was my first toy that came with a remote control and was wearable!!!  And let me just say, I absolutely found the perfect volunteer to help press my buttons! If you want to read the more …*ahem* erotic tale of our testing session you can find that on my Patreon (after dark).  For this blogs purpose though, let me share my thoughts on the pros, cons, and ultimately why I am absolutely a fan of the Aya Wearable Vibrator from Zalo.

Charging

The one down side is the charging time, and so I figured I would just get that out of the way first.  While I understand the accessibility and simplicity that using a USB based charger affords, the reality is that it just slows down the process.  I think my initial charge took over 6 hours to complete.  Honestly, I got bored and went to run some errands so that I was no longer just watching for that blinking light to go solid.  Once charged though, the toy, illuminates in a clear and direct way.

But, on a positive note about the whole charging situation, this is also the first magnetic charger I have used that just worked!  Each and every time the magnet is solid.  So, overall yay?

Sound

Now for the sound, which I think is what people are most curious about.  It is touted as a discrete toy, as far as sound goes, but, I personally wouldn’t be able to go out to a restaurant, to use it. And to be clear, that has nothing to do with the toy itself and everything to do with me. Feeling the intense vibrations (which are amazing and are of course why the this little gem makes sound) has a tendency to create some *cough* sounds, especially when you are someone like me who has a difficult time staying quiet.  The audible gasps, and visibly red cheeks are what would be noticed by a passerby’s and not the little hum coming from inside my underwear.  Ha!

Now, if you are able to stay quiet and calm perhaps you could pull off a discrete romantic candlelit dinner.  As it does specify a 40 dB level which Google handily compared to a library as far as ambient sound. So, I guess it’s up to your personal risk level? All in all, though, it admittedly does sound louder when you are wearing it than it does to anyone else.  So take that with a grain of salt. I did a side by side sound check with with my other toys and it is quieter. As well, the clothing (if you’re wearing it in public for a little risque adventure does mute it as well. I just have no poker face to speak of, so I’m out.

Distance

Let us talk about distance between remote and the wearer.  I was able to test it in a house with three floors.  The remote is quite responsive a floor away, but, it loses connection when you are more than one floor apart (and yes it was advertised as being same room only, but of course, I had to make sure!). Nothing is more fun than running upstairs with a toy hanging out of you yelling “I’m ready! Press more buttons!” Isn’t half the fun of having a helping hand in just seeing their reaction too? I certainly think so! And there are toys out there specifically geared for long distance which I hope to explore in future reviews.   

QR Code

So, there is a QR code, with an app based interface that you can use your cell phone to control this lovely wearable vibrator.  I have gone back and forth on whether or not I was comfortable testing this feature.  Admittedly am the most tech savvy, tech avoidance person I know.  I love the idea of what technology has to offer, but I struggle with just how much information I ultimately give access to.  If you’ve been following me, or reading my words for any length of time, you’ve probably realized that while I share a tonne about my life, it is always on my terms.  Rarely do I entertain people prying or pressuring me to give more than I already have. So, for the time being, I am not going to download the app.  But, if you choose to and wish to share your experience I would love to include your review for others!  Just comment below and we can chat about that.

Visuals

Ahhhh, for anyone who has read my toy reviews before, I am consistently blow away by how visually stunning toys are made.  Take this one for example.  It is made of velvety soft silicon, that is easy to clean, and a rich green colour.  It has delightful gold accents, that are not only beautiful, but hide the cleverness of a magnet that makes securing to your underwear or chosen fabric even easier (See image). The drawstring bag has come in handy when I have taken the toy over to be tested with my helping hand! And again, I simply love the elegance, and kinda wanna keep the black box (See image) as much as I want to store it in the bag for easy on the go, mobility.  So, beautiful, easy to clean and store, and of course, very soft to touch. Visually stunning!

Recommendation

Overall, I adore this toy.  And it is the first “couples” type toy that I anticipate becoming an active participant in my bedroom. It is not the star, but it is amazing for fourplay, is very fun to use, and just fits my body incredibly well.  Thus, if you are looking for a wearable device, I highly recommend the Aya (which you can purchase directly through this post and support me reviewing future toys!) 

AYA, Weareble Vibrator in action!

It’s OK to Feel Not OK

Deep Breath… It’s OK

Recently I was faced with a choice, to respond to a person in the way that I would like to be responded to, or to do my standard joking, playful, and seemingly dismissive retort.  Was that vague enough?  OK, so a guy I was planning a date with, messaged that he was having a rough day and didn’t feel up to seeing me.  Of course I was disappointed, but… and here’s the but… I was so shocked and ultimately impressed that this guy was able to tell me he was in a dark place, that I didn’t write my default message. In that moment, I realized that it was up to me, to take a step back, and really take stock of the situation. I have been putting out into the universe that I want men to be honest with me. And just like that, he was.

I have long been a believer in mental health days being just as crucial to our health as physical health days.  Why do we have sick days, and not depressed days?  It simply makes no sense.  And as a person who knows good and bad days, why is it permissible that I bail on event because I have a cold, but not to say that I can barely get myself out of bed and dressed? For some reason we are expected to just rally, or what I think happens more often than not, lie or make up excuses for our absence.  This, needs to stop.

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Yes, it is completely valid to feel bummed when someone can’t make it out to see you.  However, it is important to reflect on the strength of character it takes a person to just send that text, especially when they are feeling too low to move. Remember, our emotions are valid!

This brings me to another shocking revelation about myself. OK, fine, something that I should come to terms with. I have consistently created a safe space for my dearest friends.  We can openly talk about our bad days, and remind each other to drink water, get some vitamin D, let it out, and stretch or move. Yeah, I have some pretty incredible souls in my life.  That being said, I have not formed the same bonds with men.  In my mind, I know I am open minded, and empathetic to almost all things.  But, have I articulated that?  Have I ever lead by example?  Do I properly communicate that my space is a safe and understanding space?  Definitively not… especially at first. I tend to keep my emotions to myself.  And I think, if I’m being honest, I have created a double standard between friends and lovers.  I seem to hold lovers to a higher standard of openness without putting the work in myself. So yay, opportunity areas right???  Ugh… So many things to work on and improve.  Self improvement just never ends does it?

I don’t know when too soon is to be open and vulnerable, so there will be mistakes made. My hope is, that I can continue what just felt right the other day. Acknowledging that there will be good and bad day, and I want to be with people who understand that. Create the spaces you want to be in yourself. Stop this whole double standard thing whereby my friends can get away with so much more than the men in my life can. I can do this!

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Write on the board 50 times:

Notebook #SorryNotSorry

I am valid, and my words Matter!

I am valid, and my words Matter!

I am valid, and my words Matter!

I am valid, and my words Matter!

I am valid, and my words Matter!

I am valid, and my words Matter!

I am valid, and my words Matter!

I am valid, and my words Matter!

I am valid, and my words Matter!

I am valid, and my words Matter!

I am valid, and my words Matter!

I am valid, and my words Matter!

I am valid, and my words Matter!

I am valid, and my words Matter!

I am valid, and my words Matter!

I am valid, and my words Matter!

I am valid, and my words Matter!

I am valid, and my words Matter!

I am valid, and my words Matter!

I am valid, and my words Matter!

I am valid, and my words Matter!

I am valid, and my words Matter!

I am valid, and my words Matter!

I am valid, and my words Matter!

I am valid, and my words Matter!

I am valid, and my words Matter!

I am valid, and my words Matter!

I am valid, and my words Matter!

I am valid, and my words Matter!

I am valid, and my words Matter!

I am valid, and my words Matter!

I am valid, and my words Matter!

I am valid, and my words Matter!

I am valid, and my words Matter!

I am valid, and my words Matter!

I am valid, and my words Matter!

I am valid, and my words Matter!

I am valid, and my words Matter!

I am valid, and my words Matter!

I am valid, and my words Matter!

I am valid, and my words Matter!

I am valid, and my words Matter!

I am valid, and my words Matter!

I am valid, and my words Matter!

I am valid, and my words Matter!

I am valid, and my words Matter!

I am valid, and my words Matter!

I am valid, and my words Matter!

I am valid, and my words Matter!

I am valid, and my words Matter!

I do not have to always explain myself.  My experiences are valid! #SorryNotSorry!

What is something you need to write out 50 times? Let’s share, and lift each other up with words of validation and encouragement. And a special shout out to those willing to share some beer money!

Boy Free Zone… ?!?

Boy Free Zone

It’s been 2 months of living solo, and whether by design, necessity, or circumstance, my new place has turned into a boy free zone. And I am not quite sure how I feel about this. On the one hand, having a place where not one man has my address is completely freeing. And thus, it has become my sanctuary.  On the other hand, it’s tough to know for sure if this is due to me just not feeling anyone is worthy of coming over, or if I’ve just been holding out for that one special person. If you had asked me 5 years ago if I even thought there was just one special person, I would have said hell no!  We can have multiple, and thus, by extension, I should by now, have given my address to multiple men, living wildly in my free and single youth-ish? Yet, here I sit, in my boy free zone.

I’ve written a few times in my Medium articles about this idea that any relationship is valid, so long as you and your partner choose it.  And this, this is the relationship I want.  One that works for my partner and I.  One that we come up with together, suits our lifestyles, and brings both of us the highest possible level of joy. First though, I have to find that partner.  Wait… am I even doing this right?  Is this even a thing?  Am I once again, out on an ideological limb, forging a path in the most dense forest I can possibly find?

Now though, I am just not sure what I want in a long term relationship.  I know, for my regular readers you’ve seen my back and forth over the past few years, with my uncertainty becoming more and more prominent. And of course I know that that is not the way I am supposed to do things. As time goes on, I am supposed to gain clarity and a sense of what I want. But… and here is the big but… I am stuck with the idea that I must first discover who I want.  And that, will lead me to discover what type of relationship I will want to forge.

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Yeah, probably.  Because that seems to be what I do best.  Get an idea, then just run with it, headstrong and fancy free?!?  So, again that brings me to this whole “no boys allowed” thing. If I want a partner, and I want to forge my own path, why I am being so protective about my space?  Why am I not allowing boys to come on over?  Again, I find myself with more questions than answers, clinging to this hope that this will all work out for me.  It must, right?!?!

I have a year lease, so I hope that at some point over the next year, I get to write about actually having my first boy over!  Cause that would be pretty spectacular!  But, with my luck lately, I should probably not try and get too far ahead of myself.  Baby steps.  One little plan at a time.  For now, boy free is working, or I have just accepted that it is what it is. I do hope that special soul is out there, wanting to be the first one invited.  But my life continues to remain weird.

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Aftershocks and Metamorphs

Pondering Metamorphs

There is an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation with a metamorph.  This beautiful woman is a rare anomaly that has the ability to perfectly match and imprint with her partner.  When that happens she becomes his perfect match, in every single way, basically living for him. I’ve been thinking a lot of that episode as I am going through this period of transition.  I was forced to find myself while still living with an ex.  Thanks a lot Covid, depression, illness, and of course financial woes. The last few years have been a lot, and while I tried earnestly to just make the situation work, the reality was, I just had nothing left to give.  And in that drained state of being this idea of a metamorph kept creeping in.  Who am I?  What do I love to do?  What are my sexual preferences? Oh, aftershocks, (which I will explain shortly)!

I have written a few articles about being gender and relationship fluid.  I love exploring that side of me, however, it has been a real challenge to accomplish without the full support of a partner.  It is difficult for me to just let go with strangers.  I need that safety. That intense, passionate person by my side who I can be myself with, and explore all the little dark sides of my personality with.  Picture “I want to be evil” as my soundtrack as I write this out.

It seems to me, that being friends with a potential lover, before jumping into the sack with them, and showing intimacy is the only way that I can ensure that I don’t fall into the metamorph trappings.  And I am terrified to admit, that I have actually been exploring that with a human being, and well, the feelings are more intense than I was expecting.  Not the whole falling in love thing (although I could see that happening).  It is more, the intense aftershocks I feel when we are apart. This is difficult to explain, but I am going to try simply because I want to open some dialogue, to see if others experience this, or know what this is.

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So, imagine you are intimate with someone.  You have an experience or a moment that is unique to the situation.  A touch, a phrase is said, a special embrace, or a new sexual experience.  In the moment everything is amazing, and hot as fuck. Sexual satisfaction all around.  OK.  Now here is the aftershock part as best I can describe.

At various moments over the next few days, my mind will wander, as it does, and I will remember the moment his hand touched my thigh for the first time.  What follows for me is a flushed face, a gasp of breath, and the actual feeling of electricity bolting throughout my body.  I will think about that whisper in my ear about him cumming, and boom, I am thrown back into this orgasmic lightning bolt of a moment again. And then I remember the feeling of just being held in his arms, and it’s the same. Words, sensations, visuals, they all can offer this aftershock. And the experience of memory isn’t something that my friends can relate to. Maybe it’s because I have troubles articulating it in words, because often when I try, I just blush and get tongue tied.  And if do dare to imagine, just typing this out, I am a complete puddle. It’s as if my memories control my orgasms for a brief but intense moment. Does that make any sense? Did I type that correctly? Please know, I am trying… for science!

Now here is the one thing I’ve noticed, I cannot relive the same memory with the same intensity.  It has to be new ones, and when I try to replay a memory that I know I got that after effect release from, the feelings it arouses are muted down, and often times, non existant. And I suspect, this is why I have always been so eager to explore new situations when it comes to sex.  That desire to have these aftershocks in my life forever would be my absolute bliss.  But… I have to be very careful that they are my experiences.  They have to be organic.  What I mean by that is, I am susceptible to being an enigma who just follows her partner around.  And I do find that hot as well, just with a different level of intensity. I love pleasing people, and I cannot shut that empathetic part of my being off. So, on the idea of falling into the metamorph role, I can do that, but I think I prefer aftershocks? Maybe? Oh that game of balance and life eh? Clearly I need to do a whole lot more exploration on the subject, right?

So, in closing, who else has experienced aftershocks?  Is this a thing? Do you have metamorph experience? Do you enjoy just being someone’s perfect lover? Let’s talk about it! I might do a little behind the scenes photo shoot for my Patreon subscribers if we get some good dialogue going… Maybe 😉