Celebrating My 250th Post

This post marks the 250th time that I have pressed publish and shared my thoughts, and opinions about my relationships with all you amazing people.  My first time posting was terrifying, and the second was even worse.  But here I am, still going strong.  I began posting to help me gain insight into my first open relationship.  Writing helped me figure out if this lifestyle was really for me.  If this new relationship norm was something that I could embrace long term, or like so many, test the waters and run away back to comfort of monogamy.  I have shared my embarrassments, my shortcomings and of course a few sexy adventures over these past posts. 
I am still developing  into a person who embodies aspects of this lifestyle, with an ever growing confidence.  And what’s more, the skills gained in this constant meeting of new people and exploration has branched into all aspects of my working and social life.  I feel whole, and sexy, and everything that I really wanted to achieve a few years ago.  This blog has helped me do this. 
Whether you read out of curiosity, open mindedness, or even a simple keeping track of where this long lost friend is at with her life, I thank you.  To date I have over 86’000 page views, and that is something I am incredibly proud of.  In my first week of writing, I was terrified that 10 people would read my first post.  I was so scared of the judgement.  At the same time I was interested in those reading my words, and what they thought, then fearful again that someone I could run into would ask me questions about my personal life.  I was also worried, at the start, that criticisms would cripple my creative writing process. And for the first 2 or 3 years, I wrote with a constant awareness that my family had the ability to read my blog, and then feel pain by my words.  To counteract this fear, I often wrote vague posts that just skimmed the surface of what I was feeling.  But then, I dug deeper.  Those consistent clicks helped me to forge ahead. 
I have written posts so personal, that I cried as I typed.  And the crazy thing?  My readers have stuck around.  You have forgiven me for shocking you, for bearing my soul, and patted me on the back when I made you laugh.  I feel fearless.  I don’t write worried that I may offend someone.  I write for me.  My words, my truth.  When you have found your truth, criticisms just fade away.  I have accomplished something that very few people have done.  I have pressed the button that shared my soul, thoughts and feelings publicly 250 times and just in time for the start of 2017.  I hope each and every one of my readers can find something that they have accomplished, and take a moment to feel the pride that I do.  It is a wonderful high.  Embrace your truth, and live your life for you. Cheers to at least 250 more adventures.

Pre Christmas “Single Shopping”

I heard a statistic the other day, that 2 weeks before Christmas is the time when most breakups occur.  This makes a whole lot of sense.  Consider that you have been a little unhappy for a while, and now have to make the decision to buy someone you are not sure you like anymore a present.  Or what’s worse? You have to spend the already stressful holiday times with your crazy family, and dread including that person that now has the most irritating laugh EVER!  (Or some equally annoying trait that you no longer want to be in the same room with). Well, better to just end things quietly before it gets too close to the holidays and when you still have time to do some pre-Christmas “single shopping”.

And what is pre-Christmas Single Shopping you might ask?  Well, quite simply, it is the time for vetting out the person who will be good enough in a pinch.  It is the person who looks good in pictures, or just good on paper, whatever you may need at bare minimum.  The guy or gall who dresses up nicely and can make polite conversation at a company Christmas party.  It is the individual who has been friendzoned forever, so will be extra excited at the opportunity to be seen out in public with you.  Or maybe, it’s that friendly face on the dating site who messaged you and you didn’t instantly cringe, so now that you’re a little desperate and lonely, well… it is the season of giving right?

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It is almost like the speed date.  You have two weeks or less before Christmas to make a decision to bring around you maybe partner, or spend the holidays alone.  Online dating messages around this time are nice, polite, and just all around easy to read.  Or maybe the writers have just all had their rum and eggnog so their barriers are lowered when they scroll through the multitude of pictures.  I cannot say for sure, but there is a tone difference in messages.

So if this is a decision you recently had to make, enjoy your newly single shopping.  Be nice to your friendzoned maybe partner.  Be courteous to the new person who is as lonely as you and will scratch your back at your family’s gathering if you scratch theirs.  Remember the campsite rule!  And who knows, maybe this defenses down chance you’re taking could be the best thing you ever did, and there are many more happy Christmas’ together in your future.

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Halloween: All Year Round

As Halloween approaches, so does the sexism narrative.  Our sexy little sirens come out to play, and the costumes get tighter and skimpier year by year.  As you may well know based on previous posts I approve wholeheartedly with this trend.  Why?  Freedom of expression.  If a lady wants to feel sexy, then she gets to.  If a woman wants to show off her goods, then fantastic.  If anyone needs a holiday in order to dress up, to show a side that they keep hidden most of the year, then this is the perfect time to do so.

I have taken things a few steps further; “I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. I will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future. The Spirits of all Three shall strive within me. I will not shut out the lessons that they teach”, Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol.  Swap out Christmas for Halloween and boom, there you have my mindset.  I have taken off the masks that Halloween has afforded me, and thrive to live the same way all year round.  If I want to dress up, I do so.  If I want to play the siren for a night, I do.  If I want to show off my body, I do it.  This holiday, truly has become my favorite, as it allowed me to explore a different side of my sexuality safely, and I proudly have expanded this to all the days of the year.

I have taken the lessons that Halloween and dressing up have afforded me, and I have incorporated them into my daily life.  I am freer, because of this holiday. I am less afraid of nudity or even of my own body because I was able to dress up.  To try on different masks and personalities, and with a little liquid courage now and again, I live the person that I want to be, right now.  I am present.

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Now boys, if you want to start joining in the trend of tighter fitting clothes or showing off some muscles during the Halloween season too, then yay.  I am all for equality of the sexes.  Let’s make this a season of sexiness, confidence, and taking a moment to step outside of your shell.  Confidence in numbers, and all that jazz.  Let’s make a movement to live with sexual confidence and positive vibes with or without a costume.  No slut shaming, or judgement.  Just freedom of expression, thought and voice.  And of course tricks and treats whenever the need or want should arise.

If you want a sneak peak to this years sexy costume, check out my gallery!

Slutty Girls of Stampede AKA The Stampede Slut

 

Last stampede, the big headline was the alley way threesome, which involved a leaked video of 2 men, tag teaming a woman.  She became the Stampede Slut and took my top 3 Google search place of the same name.  I followed this story with much curiosity from Italy, as I was on vacation and missing my very first Stampede in 30 some years.  Now here is the thing, this woman earned her title, and deserved displacing my ranking.  I write about being a slut with pride, and this woman took it to a whole new level.  A quick search will tell you all you need to know about these events, and you can probably still find the now infamous video.  The take away from this, is that the woman owned what she did.  Getting fired and having her booty all over the internet was probably not planned, but instead of hiding, suing everyone in sight, and or curling up into a little ball in her basement, this woman took a much tougher path.  She owned it.  She admitted it was her, and even started capitalizing on the incident by making appearances at various strip clubs over the following months.

So here’s what I take away from this.  This woman owned the title slut.  And she made slut a word of power.  That is an incredibly hard feat to do.  I commend her for managing this, despite all the criticism, cruelty and backlash that she received.  With head held high, she embodied the word slut.  She did what very few women would dream of doing.  Whether you agree or not with her public show (which I would argue was sort of secluded in an alley), she pushed a boundary.  Again, she took control, she kept her power, and she was not a victim.

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Please don’t be thinking that my sex tape is going to be next, based on this post.  I will not be writing erotica to go along side my pictures, as it is just not my style.  The reality is, her event during last Stampede, could have harmed my work and my freedom.  If this woman had cried victim and started slut shaming, my follow up post would have been one screaming at her for setting women back yet again.  Thankfully, I get to reap some rewards.  She became the outlier.  She blasted through a societal norm and it allowed me just a little more play in my writing exploration.  She reset the shock value calculator, so I gain more freedom of speech. 

So thank you, stampede slut, for helping push the societal norm just a little farther.  I hope now for a little less uptight crowd, and maybe just a little less tisking from elderly women when I strut around in my pretty pink chaps!  Well everywhere but on the grounds, because apparently, they are cracking down on dress code that is not family friendly… for shame!  I embrace being searched as a positive female character, who is trying to embrace the word slut with dignity.  It is not a title I think fits my lifestyle, but it is one that I feel women need to use without shame if they so choose.  May the walk of shame be forever in your past, and your walk of sexual freedom be in your future.  Happy Stampede ladies!

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In My 30’s and Proud

I was talking to my best friend the other day about our birthdays, and welcomed her to the 30’s club.  And while doing so, she spoke about being very excited about joining the 3-0 club, saying how she felt sexier, and more confident now that she was taking care of her body than she did in her early 20’s.  And I wholeheartedly agree.  I was not scared of turning 31 myself, and this was the very reason.  In fact, I can hold my head up higher when I look in the mirror now.  I don’t feel like my body is just skinny and young, there is a shape that is firm and sexy.  When I look at my face, I don’t try and cover up the little laugh lines I notice around my eyes.  Instead I am excited that they are there, and signify the laughter and fantastic experiences that I have had, with extra thanks to my boyfriend.
I am physically and emotionally secure in who I am today.  And although I experience speed bumps from time to time, the big picture is that I love me.  This in turn has lead to me not wasting any time in the online dating community with people who do not feel the same way.  When I was showing E a few couples who had messaged me, I lamented on those with whom had great profiles but who did not have pictures to go with them.  To me, not having pictures, or having a body shot with your face blurred is cause for concern.  Either you are embarrassed of what you look like, or you are not taking the online game seriously.  Yes, I have heard the excuse multiple times that one needs to keep their picture private due to work, or affiliations.  And to that I say bollix.  There is no way to put yourself out there only part ways.  As I have mentioned in earlier posts, it would be outright dangerous and foolish to meet someone that you do not have a current picture of.  Not only that, I value my time and do not want to waste mine or anothers by making an emotional connection if there is nothing there physically.
Dating couples is hard.  You now have 4 people to consider instead of just two.  With that being said, I am in my 30’s with a fierce confidence and I would like to attract the same mindset.  That is important to me, and an element of my open relationships that took me the longest to get a grasp on.  I do not want to hold any one’s else’s hand in that regard.  I want fun and real connections that I can share and experience with the man I love.  I do not want to waste time with people who are too shy or have skeleton’s that they need to overcome before meeting us.  You have taken the time to create a profile.  Now take the next step and message if you are serious and ready to play what could very well be an amazing game.   Bring on an already incredible 31!
If you want to see my birthday suit… click here.