Category: Safe Sex

Let’s Talk About Baby Making

    K Ghislaine

Yes, It is Story Time… But Not Mine

I love the amount of people in my life who are so excited that my boyfriend and I are trying to start a family. It’s so supportive and amazing! I love you all for sharing in this journey with us, whether you are reading along, or sending me messages. And ultimately thank you all for basically giving us the go ahead to have sex, lots and lots of sex! It really means the world to me, and my libido! Oh, and I am pretty sure he enjoys it too. Again, thank you all!

We as a society are a fascinating people. It would be super weird for me to walk into a room and say, guess what everyone, I just had sex! OK, weird for most people, but possibly not me? I digress. If a person does that, the looks on peoples faces would be very mixed. And dare I say that most in the room would portray varying levels of discomfort, and disbelief. Where are those smelling salts? Bragging about intercourse… Bad. But, and here’s the butt, talk about baby making and the shift of emotions is palpable.

With growing frequency, I find myself telling people that we are trying, instead of horrified looks we are getting enthusiastic and happy responses. People are even excited at the prospect of us creating new life, offering words of encouragement, and at times tips and tricks. Not actual sex positions, but things to try to get your body ready, herbal remedies and advice in keeping those swimmers inside for the longest possible amounts of time. So yes, it turns out, the way to make sex talk permissible is to sugar coat with baby making intentions. Damn. If I had only known this sooner, I could have been so rich!

Take the title of this article for example. If I had used my original idea of Sex, but this time for procreation, the censors of social media would have limited its reach. But, to use the term baby making, I can override the naysayers and get this out there. Which is good, because I have a task for you readers at the end of this. Sex for pleasure is not something we can talk about in normal society, and well, that’s probably why I write about it so often. Censorship is not something I’m keen to observer. In fact, it’s one of my least favourite things, so I tend to mention sex, orgasms, and share nudity a lot (which you can access on my Patreon)! But let’s get back to this post.

Now, I’m sure you are wondering what point could I possibly be making. It’s just this, we as a society continue to be afraid to talk about sex, but when it comes to procreation, the most widely acceptable form of intercourse, then it is marginally better. I cannot think of any religion or society that does not encourage the act of penetration for the act of being fruitful and multiplying, and well, when you have faith on your side then you are golden. So now, I can finally say that I am joining the millions of people before me, saying, yes, I am ready to have lots and lots of unprotected sex with the love of my life because we are ready to create a new being in our images! Sex writing is suddenly encouraged, because we are doing it for sanctified reasons. Did I use that term right? It’s been a while since my Catholic school days.

Betty’s Toy Box (affiliate link)

So thank you for the support in me having unprotected sex! I really appreciate it. But I need more than just support right now. I need your help and input. No no, not in that way. I have definitely have that part covered, sex is easy, especially when two people fit so well together. No, what I need from you is your stories, specifically I want to know your baby making stories, and all the details that made it special. Partly because I want to make sure we are doing the creation part right, and partly because, when else are you going to get this opportunity?

I’ve read that orgasmic sex is better for increasing the odds of conception. Is that true? I’ve also read that booze has helped a great number of people lower their stress levels, allowing their bodies to just go with the flow, so to speak. Did you drink the night you conceived? Was it just dumb luck? A one night stand with perfect conditions? Do you always get pregnant after eating certain foods? Or what about a particular position? What makes baby making happen in your world? I’ve also read about certain lubes helping. Or teas, or fertility specialists, or maybe you have no idea. That’s really interesting to me too, because the thing I have read the most, that it happened when you were least expecting it, and had stopped trying. So let’s talk about what you were doing to stop trying, yet still having what I assume was unprotected sex.

Either way, this is your time to shine. Feel free to message me privately and with your permission I will add to the comments section on your behalf keeping you anonymous. Or brag about it. That’s always awesome too. Come on people, let me read your stories for a change!

My Wearable Vibrator!!!

    K Ghislaine

Sex Toy – Review [Affiliate Links Inside]

AYA, Wearable Vibrator from Zalo

While I don’t review toys nearly as often as I probably should, when I do have the opportunity, hot damn do I ever have a fun time.  This was my first toy that came with a remote control and was wearable!!!  And let me just say, I absolutely found the perfect volunteer to help press my buttons! If you want to read the more …*ahem* erotic tale of our testing session you can find that on my Patreon (after dark).  For this blogs purpose though, let me share my thoughts on the pros, cons, and ultimately why I am absolutely a fan of the Aya Wearable Vibrator from Zalo.

Charging

The one down side is the charging time, and so I figured I would just get that out of the way first.  While I understand the accessibility and simplicity that using a USB based charger affords, the reality is that it just slows down the process.  I think my initial charge took over 6 hours to complete.  Honestly, I got bored and went to run some errands so that I was no longer just watching for that blinking light to go solid.  Once charged though, the toy, illuminates in a clear and direct way.

But, on a positive note about the whole charging situation, this is also the first magnetic charger I have used that just worked!  Each and every time the magnet is solid.  So, overall yay?

Sound

Now for the sound, which I think is what people are most curious about.  It is touted as a discrete toy, as far as sound goes, but, I personally wouldn’t be able to go out to a restaurant, to use it. And to be clear, that has nothing to do with the toy itself and everything to do with me. Feeling the intense vibrations (which are amazing and are of course why the this little gem makes sound) has a tendency to create some *cough* sounds, especially when you are someone like me who has a difficult time staying quiet.  The audible gasps, and visibly red cheeks are what would be noticed by a passerby’s and not the little hum coming from inside my underwear.  Ha!

Now, if you are able to stay quiet and calm perhaps you could pull off a discrete romantic candlelit dinner.  As it does specify a 40 dB level which Google handily compared to a library as far as ambient sound. So, I guess it’s up to your personal risk level? All in all, though, it admittedly does sound louder when you are wearing it than it does to anyone else.  So take that with a grain of salt. I did a side by side sound check with with my other toys and it is quieter. As well, the clothing (if you’re wearing it in public for a little risque adventure does mute it as well. I just have no poker face to speak of, so I’m out.

Distance

Let us talk about distance between remote and the wearer.  I was able to test it in a house with three floors.  The remote is quite responsive a floor away, but, it loses connection when you are more than one floor apart (and yes it was advertised as being same room only, but of course, I had to make sure!). Nothing is more fun than running upstairs with a toy hanging out of you yelling “I’m ready! Press more buttons!” Isn’t half the fun of having a helping hand in just seeing their reaction too? I certainly think so! And there are toys out there specifically geared for long distance which I hope to explore in future reviews.   

QR Code

So, there is a QR code, with an app based interface that you can use your cell phone to control this Lovely wearable vibrator.  I have gone back and forth on whether or not I was comfortable testing this feature.  Admittedly am the most tech savvy, tech avoidance person I know.  I love the idea of what technology has to offer, but I struggle with just how much information I ultimately give access to.  If you’ve been following me, or reading my words for any length of time, you’ve probably realized that while I share a tonne about my life, it is always on my terms.  Rarely do I entertain people prying or pressuring me to give more than I already have. So, for the time being, I am not going to download the app.  But, if you choose to and wish to share your experience I would love to include your review for others!  Just comment below and we can chat about that.

Visuals

Ahhhh, for anyone who has read my toy reviews before, I am consistently blow away by how visually stunning toys are made.  Take this one for example.  It is made of velvety soft silicon, that is easy to clean, and a rich green colour.  It has delightful gold accents, that are not only beautiful, but hide the cleverness of a magnet that makes securing to your underwear or chosen fabric even easier (See image). The drawstring bag has come in handy when I have taken the toy over to be tested with my helping hand! And again, I simply love the elegance, and kinda wanna keep the black box (See image) as much as I want to store it in the bag for easy on the go, mobility.  So, beautiful, easy to clean and store, and of course, very soft to touch. Visually stunning!

Recommendation

Overall, I adore this toy.  And it is the first “couples” type toy that I anticipate becoming an active participant in my bedroom. It is not the star, but it is amazing for fourplay, is very fun to use, and just fits my body incredibly well.  Thus, if you are looking for a wearable device, I highly recommend the Aya (which you can purchase directly through this post and support me reviewing future toys!) 

AYA, Wearable Vibrator in action!

Swingers: Please Stop Swinging

    K Ghislaine

Until you can again get consent from every person you interact with…

I try not to speak out against people in the swinging community, for one simple reason, I think it is more beneficial to show the good in the community. However, right now there are podcasters, even organizers, and club owners who are basically shining a horrific bright light on the community, and I all I can think is “you do it to yourself!”. It is heartbreaking, because I spend countless hours each week trying to dispel taboo’s, and talk about the great points of non-monogamy. Dispelling myths is absolutely my jam, and while I don’t have a huge reach, I feel that what I do is valuable. But here I am, watching people I follow like @CooperSBeckett and Steak&Tequila speaking up, and I feel compelled to join them, by saying Swingers, stop swinging.

I won’t mince words here with my point. There are swingers right now who are putting their sexual lusts ahead of the good of the community and that makes me sick to the stomach. I am not OK with hotel takeovers during this global pandemic. I am not OK with sex clubs being open, claiming that they are only open to consenting adults who know the risks, because there are just no get out of jail free cards here. I recognize that the club owners need to keep their livelihood, but the cost is just too great here. I have empathy for every small business owner out there, but you cannot put people in harms way for profit. You just can’t, it’s wrong.

I am going stir crazy at home. I hate not being able to go out and meet new people in person like I used to do. I miss dancing, flirting, having sex in front of a group of consenting adults. I hate the isolation, and yeah, my libido feels like a caged animal right now. I even broke my favourite vibrator due to over use. But, my love of my fellow man is more important. These are small sacrifices in the grand scheme of things. 

I’ve said it before, but when you go to a sex party during a pandemic, you are putting the cleaning staff, uber/cab drivers, liquor store clerks, grocery store clerks, and each and everyone of your family members at unnecessary risk. Why? Because you selfishly need to get laid! Often these innocent bystanders are lower income, and don’t have the choice to say no to work. But guess what? You, have the choice to put your sex drive on pause, for the good of others.

There has been such a push for consent, and if you’re a swinger I know you have heard the word. Well, consent isn’t just about sex. Consent is a norm that should be extended to all humans we interact with. And let’s face it, there is no way you are telling your elderly parents that you can’t see them for 14 days because you have to isolate after sex with strangers. There is no way, you are telling your babysitter that you are wearing a mask to drive them home, because you have just had your face in a stranger’s crotch. While swingers are more adept at hiding their lifestyle, if no one is supposed to be going out in groups, you stand out like a sore thumb! Just stop it!

I want to get back out there in 2021. But the more I see about people saying, bring your parties to Florida, we have no restrictions. Or emails saying, the hotel takeover was sold out in record time, and we are looking for a bigger venue. Or advertisements of podcasts driving across the country bringing the parties to you! I am just… tired. So tired. And sexually frustrated, and there is no end in sight.

If you are reading this, and feel it is a stretch and I am drawing ridiculous conclusions, I actually feel very sorry for you. In fact, I think I am under reacting, because the damage you are doing to the integrity of the non-monogamous community is heartbreaking. When this is over, we may have to go back underground, hide in shame, and stop using the word ethical. That crushes my soul. It’s a loss I am not prepared for. So please, cancel your events. Stop taking risks in the name of sex. And follow this simple rule, if you’re not willing to be open and honest in seeking consent when putting anyone into contact with you, you probably shouldn’t do it!

If you love what I do, why not subscribe to my Patreon to read every article I write all in one place!

Newport Beach Babe: Toy Review!!!

    K Ghislaine

Please note that this article does contain affiliate links of which I earn a small commission that helps fuel my blog, but more importantly, hooks you up with amazing products that I have verified as awesome!

Newport Beach Babe

My Original plan when I was I sent two of the Calexotics line from Betty’s Toy Box to try, was to review the Catalina Climaxer, and then do a fun comparison review for the second.  However, I very soon realized that this orange pleasure product was in fact amazing and needed a stand alone post!  Colour me very, very surprised.  With all the toys I have been testing as of late, I really did not expect one to stand out the way that it did.  So, let me tell you all about it!

Firstly, it is now my second largest buzzing toy in my toy box.  And the crazy thing is, the silicon is so soft and supple, that it takes only a slight bit of lube to slide right into place.  I have a toy from different company of similar girth and made with silicon, that doesn’t even hold a torch to this comfort level and smoothness.  So, buyers, please be aware that not all silicon is created equal.  The Calexotics have exceeded my expectations with an almost silky, yet firm feel, and very easy to clean.

Now let us get onto the testing.  My when I first turned it on, I actually burst out giggling at the sheer drive of the clitoral stimulator.  It actually has a visible pounding action that both terrified and intrigued me.  I have not experienced anything like that before.  Usually it is a vibration, with various speeds and rhythms.  But this, was something else entirely.  And I should mention, I am not positive how durable something like this will be in the long term.  I can only pound my clit so many times in a day right?!? But for the two-week testing I did, there was absolutely zero sign of wear or of it slowing down. 

Betty’s Toy Box

Unfortunately, the incredible strength of the clitoral thumping does come with a downside, and that my dears, is the sound.  This is my noisiest toy.  It isn’t annoying by any means, but there is no chance of having a discrete playtime while your partner sleeps beside you.  This little thumper will absolutely wake a person up.  But, holy hell, they would be waking up to quite a lot of fun!  So, maybe this is a plus?

The battery life is great, the size, and shape are amazing.  And once I got the clitoral arm in place, I was basically holding on for an amazing ride.  I am fully on board with this line of toys, and cannot wait to see what else they can come up with.  Thank you Betty’s Toy Box, for helping me get through this quarantine with so much extra fun!

If you want to see some of the behind the scenes photos taken during my toy testing, Patreon would be the best place to find those little gems, and then make sure to purchase one of these amazing toys for your household! 

Our Second New Years Takeover – Part II

    K Ghislaine

The Sexy Side of Finally Doing a Takeover Right!

Fancy as Fuck

Thank you all for reading part I!  And now for what you all have been waiting for, a few sexy highlights from our hotel takeover New Years Eve adventures! With three nights there, it is difficult to list everything that happened, but let me share the moments that make me the most eager to go back.

One of the clearest memories that I have is riding the elevator down to the first meet and greet, and allowing my eyes, and ears to take in the magnitude of where we were.  To our left was a live DJ, and in the room before us, were a bunch of like-minded people, sipping cocktails, munching on appetizers, and just acting cool as cucumbers.  It was what you would imagine any meet and greet would be on the surface, people just there to socialize, and make new connections.  But then, this ethereal feeling takes hold, and you realize that you are sharing a hotel, that is filled to the brim with sex positive people, and the possibilities that being there holds.  A huge smile appeared on my face in that moment, and my partner and I held hands as we sauntered up to the bar and began the first of our introductions.  It’s a memory that will live with me for a long time.

The second memory that stands out is when I was told my boobs were so perfect that they looked fake.  Here I was, playing a version of strip poker, lying topless on the bed, with 3 other couples and one of the guys across couldn’t stop staring at my breasts.  After he asked if they were fake, the whole room starting talking about breasts, and comparing each other’s in the most sex positive, and supporting way I have ever experienced first hand.  All the partners clearly loved their women, and it showed by how they proudly displayed their favorite tits, and the women all giggled appreciatively for the attention and praise.  Such a beautiful moment, filled with magnificent breasts!  And holy crap did that ever lead to some sexy fantasies later that night as I embark on my bi curious exploration.

Betty’s Toy Box
Click above for an amazing selection of toy’s, lube, and much more (affiliate)

For the third memory, I asked my partner what stood out most in his mind.  And of course, in true me fashion I asked when we were sipping beer at a local craft brewery, and did not write his words down exactly.  So, I hope he forgives me if I don’t type it as eloquently as he remembers.  On new years eve, the version of strip poker required that a truth or dare element be the penalty if you found yourself naked.  My partner got to choose the dare for a beautiful and sexy woman who was laying naked on the bed across from us.  He dared her to give her husband a blow job, and she delightedly got on all fours (butt high in the air, facing my partner and I) and began to suck and stroke his cock.  She took her duty seriously and after about 10 minutes, the couple beside her told her she could stop so we could resume the game.  She gave a delightful pout, licked his cock a few more times, and then bounced right back into card game mode. It was spectacular!

As a special bonus and conclusion memory, my partner and I agreed that one of our shared highlights was on New Years Day, with just the two of us.  I was standing naked on our balcony, on this beautiful and very sunny start to 2020, when my partner came up behind me, and started fucking me from behind. With the view of pool to our left, and our 10th floor landscape before us, he brought me to orgasm more than a few times.  As he was ready to cum, he bent me over the railing and shot a full and glistening load all over my back.  It was so incredibly hot!  The exhibitionism of that moment, the sunshine all over our naked bodies, and the knee buckling orgasms… it is almost too much to type even days later. 

So, with my 2020 kicking off with the most incredible orgasms, I am refueled, and ready to tackle what I hope will be an amazing year.  Cheers to all of you for the love and support, retweets, questions, and of course an extra thank you to those who check out my Patreon from time to time.  May the good vibes flow free this year, and I look forward to continuing this sex positive adventure with you all!