Category: Sex Positive Community

It’s 2026!!!

    K Ghislaine
KGB in a sweater, with her hand in a shhh position over the face.

Ok, so this post is super late coming out, and for that all I can say is whoops! As is often the case with me, there is a lot going on. I am working diligently on my second book, while at the same time getting all my ducks in a row to start offering relationship coaching. Yes, yes… I’m back! Well, almost. As much as I want to get listening, and helping again, I really need to get the biggest chunk of this book completed, and I only have a few weeks left to hit my target timeline. So thank you 2026 for the reminder that time, once again ticks!

While resolutions have never really been my jam, the idea of a refresh with each new year is one that I resonate deeply with. The slow grow of the daylight hours, something so critically important to my mental health, and many of those around me, is one that brings a hopeful tone. And if you read anything towards the end of last year of mine, hope was something that I was lacking. While I would glimpse it for moments, the universe just kept knocking the socks off me, and not in a fun, I’m going to get lucky way. No no, it was a constant barrage of what more can I possibly handle?!?

It turns out, I can handle a lot, well, up until the moment I start my maniacal laugh/cry and well, everyone around me knows that I am done. But, those are the places where you dig even deeper, into pure emptiness and persevere, because there is nothing left to lose. Anyways that was then, and this is now, and the sunshine is slowing becoming more prominent. Sure I have quite a few more cold snaps to experience before I can get back to my happy place of writing in the sunshine, but that’s OK, because you guessed it… hope!

And when hope fails, there is sex, lots and lots of stress relief sex! Haha! Speaking of sex, there is an element of my upcoming coaching business that I am struggling with and that is the reaction to my mission statement including the phrase “sex positive”. You read my work, you know what this means to me, but how will this come across to the public? Will this be misconstrued as I am helping with sex? I know in the past, quite a few guys propositioned me to be the 3rd in their fantasies because I said I was sex positive, as a coach. And well, I don’t know yet the work around.

I’m mulling this over, and writing and re-writing my words as I try and figure out the identity of my business, while also maintaining boundaries, and my integrity. If you are reading this and have ideas, please let me know. Well, unless you are inviting me into your bedroom to “coach” you and your partner, then please, refrain. I have had enough of those propositions for a lifetime! If you’ve ever wondered why I am so great at saying no, this has a lot to do with where I had the most practice!

Anyways, cheers to a hopeful 2026! Thank you for reading, subscribing on Patreon, and sharing my journey.

Blogging… Oh to blog in 2025

    K Ghislaine

When I started the year, I felt I needed inspiration and to take the focus off of everything that I felt was going wrong with my body. So, I embarked on a personal writing challenge, with prompts from I’m Still Writing. It did exactly what I hoped it would. It got me writing again, which I desperately needed after the completion of my first book, and the complete disappointment that I felt with not getting what I wanted. That sentence sounds childish and selfish. I know, but it’s the truth. I put so much effort and mental focus on having a baby, publishing my first book, and well, I’m hard on myself and set lofty goals. And I’m even harder when it comes to things that I can’t control, so thanks for nothing 2025.

The other thing that I grappled with, is that the sex life of a monogamous and happy person, just doesn’t seem interesting to write about. My boyfriend really wants me to strike it rich with the creation of my own harlequin romance novel, with him as the dashing hero. So, obviously I have his loving support to write about our sex lives. But, we were having sex, sometimes on timed days to coincide with the pills I took for a few months to try and encourage pregnancy. Yes, these are stories that have value, but writing about failure, just bummed me out.

I keep writing this sentiment about getting back to basics, and just blogging because I love it. And well, after a year of identity conflicts, I’m still here. My 30 day sex positive challenge turned out to be the real fuel that I needed because a few of you embraced it, and connected. So, I guess with blogs going out of fashion, OK, that’s been happening for years and years, but it’s the connection that I need. Twitter helped me explore so much diversity over the years. I lament the loss of that social media hub. I miss the sex positive community that I was a part of there. And thus, writing over much of the past year has felt, emptier and much more quiet.

I have cried more than a few times on the shoulder of my love, how I just need a win. And I’m coming to terms with it not being a win per se, but more, connection with a community. I don’t know where to find that right now. The non-monogamous sex positive people really came to mean a lot to me. And I simply haven’t found anything even close to that in my transition phase. But, here I am, putting myself out there, doing what I do, which is be vulnerable and honest. I am looking for my community. I am seeking that rush of ideas, and sharing of information. While I’m looking, primarily on Bluesky, I understand deeply that what I had, will probably never happen again. So, with eyes wide open, I’m looking.

Oh, and I should probably let you all know, that I am writing again. Not just blogging, and my articles on Medium. But… a project… book number 2. The likelihood of a memoir styled book being my first to be published I knew was a long shot. This next one, is filled with research and honestly has been really fun to plot and plan (With the subject matter being sex and dating??? Of course I am having fun). So, here we go, writing the next one! Always pushing forward, even after a long 2025, with sadly none of my big dreams coming true. Oh well, all I can do is keep dreaming, writing, and trying!

Want to buy me a coffee or a beer, please check out my Patreon page. Or, just comment wherever you found this post! It really does mean the world to me!

A Post of Gratitude…

    K Ghislaine

*** This article has affiliate links, and no, there is no pressure to buy anything, but you definitely could and I would be super grateful or you could just read on and enjoy my work or check out my Patreon***

Every time I do a 30 day sex positive challenge I think to myself, wow, why don’t I do one of these all the time? And then I remember the amount of work that goes into it, and go, oh right, I don’t get paid. Haha. Yes, eating is important. But so is sex, and information to sex health, education, and resources. But enough about things you already know as a frequent reader of my work, let me delve into something new… well new for me.

A few months ago, I received an email from a guy who was developing a Couple’s Sex Quiz and had an affiliate program that he wanted me to be a part of. I receive affiliate opportunities quite often, so I did what I always do, and applied my due diligence to see if this was something I wanted to represent. If you’ve read my 30 day challenge blog post, you’ll know that I indeed said yes, because it was absolutely on brand for me, and I really enjoyed taking the quiz myself. Fine, nothing really new here, but then, I received a follow up e-mail, that hit me right in the feels: They wrote a blog post… about me!

I have been blogging for 15 years, and have written in various publications, and of course there is the book pitching which I have painstakingly worked on for over a year now. In these roles, I am often asked to write bios, or little blurbs on myself, sometimes even writing full pages of credentials and “who am I” prompts. It honestly, is the most difficult part of being a writer. It feels like selling myself, in order to get people interested in the words I write… about myself. Just one full cycle of vulnerability. But then, to read another person’s take on me, a person they have never met? Well, it was a bunch… of feelings.

You’re welcome to read the post yourself, which you can read at the bottom of their site if you go to blogs (mine is right at the top). And while it was lovely, humbling, and so complimentary it was the first time someone has written a blog post about me. Yes, I’ve had a few introductions over the years, mostly prompted from something I had to draft for them, but this was different. It was a complete surprise and it reminded me just how wonderful it feels to be appreciated. Further, it was a beautiful reminder that words matter. Intention is important, and finally, and most importantly how incredible it is to be lifted up by someone else. And that, is what I want to impart on people. Celebration of others is how we are going to combat this doom and gloom that surrounds us on the day to day.

Yes, I celebrate being sex positive and I encourage each of you to embrace something that makes you smile, gives you joy, perhaps even pleasure. But also, share that with someone who has made you smile. Who has brightened your day, or given you reason to hope, if only for a moment. The world needs it right now. We all need it right now. Let’s spread some gratitude, and get that sex positive energy flowing.

30 Day Challenge: The Sex Positive Kind

    K Ghislaine

Well, the world is going crazy with negativity and news of doom and gloom. So to combat it, or at least give a little distraction, I’ve decided it is high time to revive my 30 day sex positive challenge for the month of October. If you have not heard of this before, don’t worry, it turns out I haven’t really done one successfully since 2020! Where in the world does the time go? At any rate, let me set the stage for what you are in for in our #30DaysSexPositive Challenge.

First up, there is zero sign-up necessary and participation is completely voluntary. Let’s be honest, any challenge to do with the word S E X is daunting to many. But rest assured this one is geared to be inclusive, fun, and hopefully at the end of the day having you feel fabulous about yourself. There will be a few days that will push you out of your comfort zone, and that is OK. Choose your own adventure and only join in with what you are comfortable with. For those who are ready and excited to learn a bit about themselves, being sex positive, and maybe even get a little sexy, here’s the drill.

First, you need to be following me on some sort of platform to see the prompts, which I will post daily. Now, using the word sex can get tricky with things like Facebook, so I won’t be posting anything there. I will however be using X/Twitter, Bluesky, Instagram, and my Patreon subscribers will get their usual bonus content, plus some extras. Wherever you follow me, just watch for the flamingo icon starting Oct 1st, read the blurb, and start playing. If you want to like, share, comment, or even subscribe to my Patreon that is completely up to you. The real point is to get us thinking about sex in a more positive light and normalizing pleasure in all its wondrous forms, and that starts with some self love. Oh, and taking a little break from the day to day grind, in a more pleasurable way.

So, are you ready? Excited? Nervous? I am too! So let us make this years 30 day challenge the best one yet. And if you want a little bonus activity to help you and your partner open up some great dialogue about sex, might I recommend signing up for the Couples Sex Quiz? Yes, I am sharing this as an affiliate, but, you should know I only recommend things that I love, and find value in. So if you’ve ever found yourself nervous to talk about sex with your partner, this is an incredible tool AKA ice breaker. And if you’re in a new relationship, this could be a fun way to see if you are similar pages. Don’t worry, the challenge won’t be all sales pitchy, but from time to time getting a few bucks definitely feels good so there you go. Now, back to the challenge…

I really hope you love what I have created for you because I am so excited to share it with you all, no matter how you decide to participate. Let’s have fun, be kind, and please no shaming of any kind. If at any point someone shares something that is not to your taste, just move on! Sex is for everyone, and the world could certainly use some more kindness right about now! With all that in mind, get ready, because here we go!!!

#30DaysSexPositive

One Less Stampede Slut: My Little Reflection

    K Ghislaine
Goodbye Stampede Slut

I woke up this morning to a notification from Google that one of my pages was skyrocketing, and I smiled. It was one of those knowing smiles, filled with reflection, and appreciation for almost everything that has brought me to this point, a place whereby I love who I am. And I realized, perhaps for the first time, that while my experiences “slutting” it up for Stampede helped shape who I am today, I have in fact broken away from that woman. I am no longer a stampede slut, but holy cripes did I ever have some great stampede fun.

For those who don’t know, the Calgary Stampede, well the party side of it, is basically like a cowboy Mardi Gras so to speak. It’s a time when the liquor flows over a 10 day period and almost everyone is in a cowboy hat! The transformation my city goes through is quite remarkable, and there is this feeling of western solidarity met with Ya Hoo’s, and Yee Haw’s on the streets. I know it sounds hokey, but you should see the grin on my face as I write these words. It’s a strange culture, that truly you have to see to believe. And I have definitely experienced a lot!

From drunken threesomes, to walks of shame. From pub crawls, to 2 stepping with strangers, and all the amazing butts in tight jeans! I’ve been drunker than a skunk, and woken up in strange beds. I’ve been to stampede swingers parties, and couples speed dating, and a few times, I’ve even been responsible and gone home alone, Ha! 

NoMoreWetSpot.com

The thing about this time of year, is that you can have stupid fun, especially if you are single or non-monogamous. And you can win some incredibly stupid prizes if you pretend to be the above, which absolutely happens in this city. There are many a marriage that allow for “indiscretions” during this 10 day period, and even more that it is absolutely forbidden to do so! It really is a wild time whereby wedding rings just don’t seem to matter, and well, it is the closest thing we as a city have to being sexually free.

And the thing of it is, I always knew that one day, the parties wouldn’t mean as much to me. And the call to come out and party would fade out into a whisper, I just didn’t expect it to happen so soon. Every experience that I have had, good and bad, wearing my skimpiest western wear, often out on the prowl, has made me the person I am today. And I smile, thinking back to the parties, and the memories, and the country music soundtrack that is forever burned into my brain. It is a cherished part of who I am, but, I can no longer call myself a slutty girl of stampede.

I can and will continue to dress the part because dressing up is my favourite thing to do. But, the wild parties, and drunken sexcapades are a thing of my past. I love that I live in a city whereby I could be this slutty girl when I needed to be her the most. When I needed to just lose myself in the music, and the flirtation, and the attention, I had a 10 day oasis. It helped scratch an itch that I admit I had to scratch.

It brought me so much closer to being the sex positive person that I am today. And I loved her, and her fearlessness in wearing pink chaps in public, or the shortest denim skirts! She was bold, and carefree, and stampeded her little heart out. I hope that I take the best parts of her with me, as I forge forward, towards this next, beautiful chapter of my life. Thank you Stampede Slut, and goodbye!

If you want to check out some of my stampede outfits throughout the years, check out my BreakingAway page on Patreon.