Category: Sex Positive

My Wearable Vibrator!!!

    K Ghislaine

Sex Toy – Review [Affiliate Links Inside]

AYA, Wearable Vibrator from Zalo

While I don’t review toys nearly as often as I probably should, when I do have the opportunity, hot damn do I ever have a fun time.  This was my first toy that came with a remote control and was wearable!!!  And let me just say, I absolutely found the perfect volunteer to help press my buttons! If you want to read the more …*ahem* erotic tale of our testing session you can find that on my Patreon (after dark).  For this blogs purpose though, let me share my thoughts on the pros, cons, and ultimately why I am absolutely a fan of the Aya Wearable Vibrator from Zalo.

Charging

The one down side is the charging time, and so I figured I would just get that out of the way first.  While I understand the accessibility and simplicity that using a USB based charger affords, the reality is that it just slows down the process.  I think my initial charge took over 6 hours to complete.  Honestly, I got bored and went to run some errands so that I was no longer just watching for that blinking light to go solid.  Once charged though, the toy, illuminates in a clear and direct way.

But, on a positive note about the whole charging situation, this is also the first magnetic charger I have used that just worked!  Each and every time the magnet is solid.  So, overall yay?

Sound

Now for the sound, which I think is what people are most curious about.  It is touted as a discrete toy, as far as sound goes, but, I personally wouldn’t be able to go out to a restaurant, to use it. And to be clear, that has nothing to do with the toy itself and everything to do with me. Feeling the intense vibrations (which are amazing and are of course why the this little gem makes sound) has a tendency to create some *cough* sounds, especially when you are someone like me who has a difficult time staying quiet.  The audible gasps, and visibly red cheeks are what would be noticed by a passerby’s and not the little hum coming from inside my underwear.  Ha!

Now, if you are able to stay quiet and calm perhaps you could pull off a discrete romantic candlelit dinner.  As it does specify a 40 dB level which Google handily compared to a library as far as ambient sound. So, I guess it’s up to your personal risk level? All in all, though, it admittedly does sound louder when you are wearing it than it does to anyone else.  So take that with a grain of salt. I did a side by side sound check with with my other toys and it is quieter. As well, the clothing (if you’re wearing it in public for a little risque adventure does mute it as well. I just have no poker face to speak of, so I’m out.

Distance

Let us talk about distance between remote and the wearer.  I was able to test it in a house with three floors.  The remote is quite responsive a floor away, but, it loses connection when you are more than one floor apart (and yes it was advertised as being same room only, but of course, I had to make sure!). Nothing is more fun than running upstairs with a toy hanging out of you yelling “I’m ready! Press more buttons!” Isn’t half the fun of having a helping hand in just seeing their reaction too? I certainly think so! And there are toys out there specifically geared for long distance which I hope to explore in future reviews.   

QR Code

So, there is a QR code, with an app based interface that you can use your cell phone to control this Lovely wearable vibrator.  I have gone back and forth on whether or not I was comfortable testing this feature.  Admittedly am the most tech savvy, tech avoidance person I know.  I love the idea of what technology has to offer, but I struggle with just how much information I ultimately give access to.  If you’ve been following me, or reading my words for any length of time, you’ve probably realized that while I share a tonne about my life, it is always on my terms.  Rarely do I entertain people prying or pressuring me to give more than I already have. So, for the time being, I am not going to download the app.  But, if you choose to and wish to share your experience I would love to include your review for others!  Just comment below and we can chat about that.

Visuals

Ahhhh, for anyone who has read my toy reviews before, I am consistently blow away by how visually stunning toys are made.  Take this one for example.  It is made of velvety soft silicon, that is easy to clean, and a rich green colour.  It has delightful gold accents, that are not only beautiful, but hide the cleverness of a magnet that makes securing to your underwear or chosen fabric even easier (See image). The drawstring bag has come in handy when I have taken the toy over to be tested with my helping hand! And again, I simply love the elegance, and kinda wanna keep the black box (See image) as much as I want to store it in the bag for easy on the go, mobility.  So, beautiful, easy to clean and store, and of course, very soft to touch. Visually stunning!

Recommendation

Overall, I adore this toy.  And it is the first “couples” type toy that I anticipate becoming an active participant in my bedroom. It is not the star, but it is amazing for fourplay, is very fun to use, and just fits my body incredibly well.  Thus, if you are looking for a wearable device, I highly recommend the Aya (which you can purchase directly through this post and support me reviewing future toys!) 

AYA, Wearable Vibrator in action!

Aftershocks, Energy Flow, and Actually Feeling Re-Filled?

    K Ghislaine
Aftershock Bliss

So, let me continue with my exploration of aftershocks and energy.  In my last piece I aimed to better describe what I was feeling when in comes to my world of aftershocks.  Thankfully, it resonated with a person I was failing to describe it in words to, so yay me!  And now, if you will indulge me for a moment to take it a step forward, and discuss what happens after the aftershocks: the formation of my energy cycle.

In the past, I have been with men who sucked the energy out of me.  Thus, my role was an exhausting endeavour to find new sources of energy for myself, so then I can give it to my loved ones.  Obviously this, is not sustainable, especially long term.  It works for a while because I love feeling needed and wanted, but if for whatever reason that wains (which of course it would), well… it’s a disaster.  Now, as much I try to be aware of this negative energy cycle, I must admit that I am attracted to this feeling of being wanted, and thus, it is difficult for me to actually break.  That being said, I think, I may have just found the thing that may once and for all break my determination to fall headfirst into this pattern, and that is in finding someone who creates an energy flow with me.

I’ve felt snippets in the past, but if I am completely honest, they result from sexual energy alone.  If we are having sex with the frequency of rabbits, then it works well.  But, relationships, and life always seem to get in the way of that being sustainable.  So imagine me being completely unprepared for what I have been experiencing over the past little while.  And that my friends is feeling re-filled by a person, and if I am reading things right, him feeling the same.  It’s like we complete each other? 

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I don’t know if I am getting ahead of myself, and describing something that is more NRE (new relationship energy) rather than something far more.  But this does have all the telltale signals that it’s more than just the new.  We have been friends for many years.  We can talk about pretty much anything and everything.  We enjoy each other’s company.  We both think the world of each other, and can clearly express that.  Oh and the sex is amazing.  We have an intimate chemistry that just seems to work on a level beyond words or direction. That being said, when direction is given it is understood and taken to the absolute next level with enthusiastic gusto. 

Ooph!  I’m a puddle just thinking about that.  Anyways, back on track.  Wait… was there a track?  Or is this it.  Finding an energy loop that works for two people?  With little bolts of aftershocks to fuel you for the moments you are apart?  Is this what people are looking for?  Or the lucky ones having already found?  If this is the relationship secret, then, I am all aboard.  Of course, nothing is perfect, or without problems.  For us, it will be time and space.  Oh, and being very different people, who are inherently stubborn fools.  But… there is something here worth exploring.  Worth every single fantasy.  And absolutely worth the effort on both our parts. 

If I am jumping the gun, and putting this out into the world prematurely, then so be it. I am feeling these intense feelings right now, and they are valid.  Right or wrong, or even if they are felt as strongly by the other side really doesn’t change my excitement, or feeling of sheer bliss right now. And with that, I have started an energy cycle that I hope remains my norm for years to come. Breaking away from being the relationship battery if you will.

For the behind the scenes photo please check out my Patreon which fuels my creative juices!

The Backlash of Writing About Being Comfortable Naked when Thin…

    K Ghislaine
Comfortable Naked After a Lot of Hard Work!

Yup, never fails that when I write an article about body image, and being comfortable naked, I get put on blast for trying to express that my body image issues are the same as those who are not skinny.  Every, single, freaking, time!  Look, everyone should be able to talk about weight, body image issues, and be able to express hope that someday in the future looks won’t matter.  Just because I am thin, and my experience is different than a person who has experienced fat shaming, does not mean I must remain silent, on body image. Or that my expression is invalid.  Yes, I have issues with my body, and I am trying to open up conversation.  I in no way, have tried to diminish anyone else’s experience.  In fact quite the opposite, in that I have openly asked others to share their stories, if they feel comfortable so we can have real dialogue about how body shaming hurts everyone.

The second matter of BS, that this article opened up, was the mass of men who said they didn’t think I should have body image issues because I look amazing. What, the actual F?  How is that helpful at all?  So, some stranger saw a photo and then decides that my feelings and experiences are invalid?  No thank you sir, no thank you! You have no idea what I worked through to get here! Perhaps if you had actually read the article I wrote for Medium, instead of just reading the headline, but… clearly that is asking far too much. I have to add one caveat, and that is to my dear friend who wrote surprise at my feelings and provided me a space to talk further about it, then offered real comfort and uplifting sentiments. He didn’t just outright dismiss my feelings out of hand because he didn’t agree with them. This of course was only made possible because this guy actually knows me, and we have honest and real dialogue.  He in no way invalidated me, but instead expressed an opinion, followed by giving me healthy space to further express.  There is a communication learning opportunity here. You can have an opinion, but it’s all about delivery, and what your intent is. If you are just trying to tell a person that their experience is wrong or invalid, please don’t.

Strangers judging other strangers is not the answer to building a better world/community/space and what have you. I expressed an experience, that was supplementary to sharing how non-monogamous situations helped me see myself and others in a less critical light.  But instead of focusing that, by all means try and tell me that I just don’t understand, nor will I ever, because I can’t possibly know what it’s like to be judged for how I look because the thin experience doesn’t count.  Those with this opinion, may I ask how you don’t see irony in this?

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I want to make it clear, as I said on Twitter, that I in no way think skinny shaming is equal to fat shaming. They just aren’t. I have never implied that. My intent was to broaden the sphere of conversation, and to express the very real sentiment that I too have felt insecure with my nude form, but when faced with a broad range of naked bodies (of almost every single shape and size) I saw first hand beauty in the variety. That is the takeaway I intended, and one that I hope we all get to feel at some point. That sheer joy in just being comfortable naked. The whole, don’t judge a book by its cover thing?

Any who, thank you to all the amazing people who either just moved on from a piece they may not have liked, or took time to share their experience with me. And of course, to all of those who it struck a chord with, I earnestly hope we all move past the experiences and have a much healthier image of ourselves in the future.  Because that, at the end of the day, is what it is all about! 

Thank you all who have bought me beers this week! As a thank you, there are some behind the scenes pictures from this photo shoot up on Patreon for you.

Aftershocks, Butterflies, and NRE: A Deeper Dive

    K Ghislaine
Musing about Aftershocks

Ok, let us delve a little deeper into this whole aftershock conversation.  One of the most surprising things to be brought up, is the correlation between aftershocks and NRE (new relationship energy). Now this is a fascinating rabbit hole that I am eager to go down.  I personally have always equated NRE with the butterflies and have written a few articles on how I adore chasing butterflies.  In fact, that is precisely what made non-monogamy so appealing to me. The idea of being in a solid relationship and not having to shut off the possibilities of experiencing butterflies with new people.

But what if what I was describing with sexual aftershocks has some sort of correlation with NRE?  Butterflies and NRE for me, have been this sheer blissful, shocking, happiness wave of new excitement.  Whereas with the aftershocks, it is entirely sexual in nature and is basically like little reminiscent orgasms when I experience a memory.  And the memory could be as far back as with my first relationship, or first time masturbating with a new toy, or the like. They are random and unexpected body sparking orgasmic memories. And yes, often it overlaps with NRE, or the butterflies, but I’m not positive that this is a correlation vs causation scenario.  It feels different to me somehow.

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I get the butterfly feeling when I flirt, or see a cute face (or butt). But, cannot get that aftershock feeling unless there has been a physical connection. It’s like the release of stored or shared energy.   Haha… I’m really trying to explain this, and all I am doing is turning myself on!  I of course, want everything.  The sex, the aftershocks, the butterflies, and the NRE.  Yes, please universe, yes please!

Now, these are only my thoughts, based on my experience. Maybe I’m overlooking something. I really want to hear from you, and your thoughts. Where do you fall on this?  Have you had aftershocks? What is the experience like for you? Do you know any resources that discuss this? Let’s talk about this! 

If you want to support this blog, or check out the behind the scenes content, check out my Patreon!

Aftershocks and Metamorphs

    K Ghislaine
Pondering Metamorphs

There is an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation with a metamorph.  This beautiful woman is a rare anomaly that has the ability to perfectly match and imprint with her partner.  When that happens she becomes his perfect match, in every single way, basically living for him. I’ve been thinking a lot of that episode as I am going through this period of transition.  I was forced to find myself while still living with an ex.  Thanks a lot Covid, depression, illness, and of course financial woes. The last few years have been a lot, and while I tried earnestly to just make the situation work, the reality was, I just had nothing left to give.  And in that drained state of being this idea of a metamorph kept creeping in.  Who am I?  What do I love to do?  What are my sexual preferences? Oh, aftershocks, (which I will explain shortly)!

I have written a few articles about being gender and relationship fluid.  I love exploring that side of me, however, it has been a real challenge to accomplish without the full support of a partner.  It is difficult for me to just let go with strangers.  I need that safety. That intense, passionate person by my side who I can be myself with, and explore all the little dark sides of my personality with.  Picture “I want to be evil” as my soundtrack as I write this out.

It seems to me, that being friends with a potential lover, before jumping into the sack with them, and showing intimacy is the only way that I can ensure that I don’t fall into the metamorph trappings.  And I am terrified to admit, that I have actually been exploring that with a human being, and well, the feelings are more intense than I was expecting.  Not the whole falling in love thing (although I could see that happening).  It is more, the intense aftershocks I feel when we are apart. This is difficult to explain, but I am going to try simply because I want to open some dialogue, to see if others experience this, or know what this is.

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So, imagine you are intimate with someone.  You have an experience or a moment that is unique to the situation.  A touch, a phrase is said, a special embrace, or a new sexual experience.  In the moment everything is amazing, and hot as fuck. Sexual satisfaction all around.  OK.  Now here is the aftershock part as best I can describe.

At various moments over the next few days, my mind will wander, as it does, and I will remember the moment his hand touched my thigh for the first time.  What follows for me is a flushed face, a gasp of breath, and the actual feeling of electricity bolting throughout my body.  I will think about that whisper in my ear about him cumming, and boom, I am thrown back into this orgasmic lightning bolt of a moment again. And then I remember the feeling of just being held in his arms, and it’s the same. Words, sensations, visuals, they all can offer this aftershock. And the experience of memory isn’t something that my friends can relate to. Maybe it’s because I have troubles articulating it in words, because often when I try, I just blush and get tongue tied.  And if do dare to imagine, just typing this out, I am a complete puddle. It’s as if my memories control my orgasms for a brief but intense moment. Does that make any sense? Did I type that correctly? Please know, I am trying… for science!

Now here is the one thing I’ve noticed, I cannot relive the same memory with the same intensity.  It has to be new ones, and when I try to replay a memory that I know I got that after effect release from, the feelings it arouses are muted down, and often times, non existant. And I suspect, this is why I have always been so eager to explore new situations when it comes to sex.  That desire to have these aftershocks in my life forever would be my absolute bliss.  But… I have to be very careful that they are my experiences.  They have to be organic.  What I mean by that is, I am susceptible to being an enigma who just follows her partner around.  And I do find that hot as well, just with a different level of intensity. I love pleasing people, and I cannot shut that empathetic part of my being off. So, on the idea of falling into the metamorph role, I can do that, but I think I prefer aftershocks? Maybe? Oh that game of balance and life eh? Clearly I need to do a whole lot more exploration on the subject, right?

So, in closing, who else has experienced aftershocks?  Is this a thing? Do you have metamorph experience? Do you enjoy just being someone’s perfect lover? Let’s talk about it! I might do a little behind the scenes photo shoot for my Patreon subscribers if we get some good dialogue going… Maybe 😉