Celebrating My 250th Post

This post marks the 250th time that I have pressed publish and shared my thoughts, and opinions about my relationships with all you amazing people.  My first time posting was terrifying, and the second was even worse.  But here I am, still going strong.  I began posting to help me gain insight into my first open relationship.  Writing helped me figure out if this lifestyle was really for me.  If this new relationship norm was something that I could embrace long term, or like so many, test the waters and run away back to comfort of monogamy.  I have shared my embarrassments, my shortcomings and of course a few sexy adventures over these past posts. 
I am still developing  into a person who embodies aspects of this lifestyle, with an ever growing confidence.  And what’s more, the skills gained in this constant meeting of new people and exploration has branched into all aspects of my working and social life.  I feel whole, and sexy, and everything that I really wanted to achieve a few years ago.  This blog has helped me do this. 
Whether you read out of curiosity, open mindedness, or even a simple keeping track of where this long lost friend is at with her life, I thank you.  To date I have over 86’000 page views, and that is something I am incredibly proud of.  In my first week of writing, I was terrified that 10 people would read my first post.  I was so scared of the judgement.  At the same time I was interested in those reading my words, and what they thought, then fearful again that someone I could run into would ask me questions about my personal life.  I was also worried, at the start, that criticisms would cripple my creative writing process. And for the first 2 or 3 years, I wrote with a constant awareness that my family had the ability to read my blog, and then feel pain by my words.  To counteract this fear, I often wrote vague posts that just skimmed the surface of what I was feeling.  But then, I dug deeper.  Those consistent clicks helped me to forge ahead. 
I have written posts so personal, that I cried as I typed.  And the crazy thing?  My readers have stuck around.  You have forgiven me for shocking you, for bearing my soul, and patted me on the back when I made you laugh.  I feel fearless.  I don’t write worried that I may offend someone.  I write for me.  My words, my truth.  When you have found your truth, criticisms just fade away.  I have accomplished something that very few people have done.  I have pressed the button that shared my soul, thoughts and feelings publicly 250 times and just in time for the start of 2017.  I hope each and every one of my readers can find something that they have accomplished, and take a moment to feel the pride that I do.  It is a wonderful high.  Embrace your truth, and live your life for you. Cheers to at least 250 more adventures.

Profile Pictures: Thank You for Those Damn Fish!

Yes, you are correct boys, women love a good dead fish picture.  And what’s more, we are judging you by the size of it.  The bigger the fish, the better.  We don’t just want to know that you can provide a meal for us, caught all by yourself, but we want to know that there will be enough for leftovers!  Oh, you are looking for a woman who cooks and cleans?  Is that directly related to the fish you just caught?  Why sir, you’re in luck.  We will happily gut that fish and throw it in the frying pan with the secret recipe of spices that all us online dating woman share.

I guess fair is fair though.  Because we female species know that when we put quadding or camping in our profiles, your manhood starts getting chubby.  I mean how else do we prove that we are “down to earth“.  Not a girly girl that you have to constantly spoil and pamper, but that rough and tumble chick that you can bring around to your buddies and get the hi fives from.

And for all online dating profiles equally, please stop putting nothing but group photos up.  I do not know what you look like, and I don’t want to try and pick you out of a crowd.  Plus, you are either the hot one in the group showing off, or the ugly one trying to bank on the cheerleader effect.  Oh, but look how much fun we are all having posing for this epic picture?  No, seriously, I do not know which one you are and chances are when I figure it out, I am going to be disappointed!

If you want to know anything about me, I’m an open book.  Please ask me anything, because I don’t want to spend the time writing anything in my profile.  I just hate these online things, and I am looking for the easiest means of meeting the one.  We can always lie about how we met!  Just judge me on the size of my fish, and not on my vocabulary!

Thankful for Friends Who Have Become My Family

The song “When a Man Loves a Woman” is one I am sure most of you out there have heard. There is line that goes, he would “Turn his back on his best friend if he puts her down.”  This line is very powerful in its implications, to love someone so much that you would lose your best friend if they said an unkind word about him/her.  As a child, I wanted to love someone that badly.  I wanted to feel that burning power of love, that passion for one person whom I would give up all my friends for if they were too blind to see the amazing thing we had.  Is this not what love is?  Something you would risk everything for?  Everything except your family that is.
Yes, sadly there is a but in this sentiment.  You can give up friendship for a love, but you are not allowed to give up your family.  Your family can make you choose, say the most unkind things imaginable, rationalized because they know what is best for you.  They love you unconditionally, so you must put up with all their crap and never waiver.  Your love can move any mountain, unless your family does not agree with your choice.  Because we all know love is a choice, and we choose to fall in love with the knight in shining armor, or the sleeping beauty high atop the highest tower. 
I grew up in an environment where your family judging you was acceptable because they loved you.  They wanted you to achieve great and wonderful things in life, love and everything in between.  The stakes are high, and the person that makes you happy is not the same as the person who will be loved by your extended family.  Perhaps every family is like that, where there is constant criticism disguised as “what’s best for you” and “just looking out for your best interests”.  That inability to just be happy for a family member, because that individual is truly happy is something often forgotten in my family.  Following your heart is the most wonderful feeling in the world, unless of course your family disapproves. 
I watch, mystified, and shocked that significant others in my life, and those of my family are told they have to prove themselves to have a seat at the dinner table.  To be welcomed inside the homes of those I grew up with these people that bring joy to our lives are given hurdles that they must jump.  No mistakes are allowed, the courtship must be flawless, date, love, never get angry and then get married.  And of course start popping out babies, for that is the true testament in my clan.  Babies born inside of wedlock can erase every single sin that you have ever committed.  All is forgiven, but not always forgotten.

I write this post because love is not always easy.  I write it because I see pain around me, in the harsh and hypocritical judgements.  Those who should read this and open their eyes never will.  I have made peace with that, and yet I still write it with that infallible hope that I cling to.  Love conquers all, or at least it should.  I lament the pain that I watched this thanksgiving, and I am shocked by the numbness I felt in the continued exclusion I have come to accept.  When love doesn’t conquer the cruel judgemental nature of your own family, I turn to my friends who are more family then I ever could have dreamed, and of course wine.

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Thank You

I would like to write a very heartfelt thank you to all of you out there who stop in from time to time to read my blog.  Oddly writing a thank you blog is harder than my normal writings, as I cannot possibly put into words just how sincerely grateful I am for the amazing support that I have found over this journey.  I am genuinely surprised by how many of my friends and family have come up to me and offered encouragement to continue with my passion.  I guess it’s true that once you find your passion people will support your endeavors. I also wanted to thank the posters who are taking the time to comment at the bottom or to send me e-mails or fb messages to discuss my topics further.  I just cannot express enough how touching this experience has been.  I want to also make a special note to the people who have challenged my opinions.  It shows that some of what I write may ignite others on an emotional level and that is simply amazing to me.

I promise to keep writing, and share my experiences with those who wish to read.  Thanks so much to everyone I know on a personal level, and to those that have become closer to me through this blog.  It astounds me that I have the readership I do.  So in keeping this short and sweet, have the courage to question everything until you find your own happiness as I do