Category: Women Writers

Week 6: Humility

    K Ghislaine

Last night, I had a dream that I finally was able to do the splits. It’s something that I have wanted to do for a long time, but, have never really put in a solid effort to accomplish. In the dream, the trick was to do front splits, instead of side splits, and presto, I was able to spread out with ease. Dreams are funny that way. They often make connections for me, that my waking brain simply never can. The lesson is that sometimes I have to approach things from an unconventional way in order to achieve what I want to. And this little anecdote brings me to this weeks writing prompt, which is humility.

Agatha Christie writes about trying to emulate your writing hero, only to realize that one must in fact find their own way to go about things. The prompt further challenges the writer to look deep into what our strengths, and weakness really are. By digging deep into where you can grow, and where you excel, you ultimately will find your voice. The thing of this is, as I am sure with almost every creator out there, focusing on the areas that need improvement is easy, whereas, understanding or even acknowledging where you shine? Well my friends that is where the difficulty lies.

Can you actually create if you feel humility? If you are at the top of your game, knowing that no matter what you put onto the page, canvas, or whatever medium you choose, will be amazing, is there value? Or is it better to always be a pained and struggling artist? Is that where the heart and sentiment truly lie? I don’t know the value of ever writing with humility. Perhaps if that victory is ever achieved, it would be time to teach young minds about the craft that I hold so near and dear.

There is a part of me, that struggled with doing this women’s writing challenge because I didn’t want to change who I was, nor how I wrote. In fact, that fear, has probably kept me from doing a lot of things in life. Failure, is difficult for me to accept. Which brings me back to my dream. I know, that changing my point of view is something I am very good at doing. What I am not so great at, is the stick-to-it-ness. When I keep banging my head against the wall with no results, it eats away at my drive to continue. But here I sit, knowing deep deep down, that my writing strength is that I keep writing. And as evidenced by my many years blogging, the writing, it has actually improved a great deal. Perseverance is my writing strength as much as my nemesis.

And, yes, my ability to try new things. There, a tinge of humility has escaped my lips. I am very good, at absorbing new information, listening with all my facets, and changing or amending my opinions. And that my friends is what makes my writing what it is, something many of you enjoy reading. While my fear keeps me from actually giving up, hence not admitting to myself that I may never do the splits and therefor if I stop practising daily then I can’t actually fail. Maybe that’s a stretch in logic (pun very much intended), but hey, my perfect counterbalance to being so flexible (I can’t stop now) is by me not putting wasted effort into things that I might never achieve.

Welcome dear friends to my convoluted brain when I task myself with something bigger than I have the mental capacity to currently handle. A mishmash of thoughts, and ideas flow out of me, and if I let my stream of consciousness do the leading, this, is where we end up, with Intuition and Logic, the post I struggled with last week and said I don’t do. Ha! In actual fact, that last paragraph was my way of knocking myself down a peg after admitting that I was really great at something. Maybe just maybe, I have always written with a humble nature, and that’s what makes me relatable at times. But then again, maybe not.

For those following along on Patreon, yes, there are some behind the scenes pictures on there!!! Enjoy and thanks for the support.

Week 5: Intuition and Logic

    K Ghislaine

When I read the title of this weeks writing prompt, I was nervous. For you see, I am not in the best of places emotionally right now. Hormones are a hell of a thing, and well, I’m feeling the weight them right now, all the while coming to understand that this is just a part of my here and now. Trying to give myself a break from over analyzing is tough work, and not something that I am particularly good at. Anyways, onto a prompt that will help focus my words, with intuition and logic. Wait a tick, did I just stumble upon something important here?

So in this prompt, Celeste Ng, speaks to the idea of writing down things creatively and then going back to them with a more logical lens. This idea of writing from your gut or soul, and then seeing if it makes sense, and the like. And well, I am more than grateful for a writing exercise that is more skill set building vs digging inside of me.

For those who are curious, I tend not to write creatively. Instead, I keep many ideas floating inside my brain, sometimes for hours, even days at a time. I let my mind wander over this thought or the next, often concerning my boyfriend with the pensive or faraway look on my face. I muse, puzzle, think, walk about, or drive. And then, the moment that logic floats in, or something solid actually materializes, I pounce out of my imagination and into the tactile. This sometimes takes the form of bullet point, rapid fire notes, and other times an entire fully formed story or article comes flowing out me. When the latter happens, I have learned that I must write down my title or subtitle of the piece first, so that the words that come pouring out actually remain cohesive. For me, that means a beginning, middle, and conclusion that ties all the ramblings together.

I live in a world of intuition, and only when the logic strikes do I put things down on paper. And to that end, I think for my next podcast, I will attempt this whole reverse outline that she speaks to, which intrigues me. In her mind, there is value in writing something down, and then pulling the outline afterwards, possibly a double check that there is logic and flow? Like I said, I am curious as to the effect this could have when I edit, or read out loud. Did I actually make my argument like the bullet point said, or did I miss a valuable summary point, that added cohesion and power to the words? My mind races with the impact this could have…

As always, thank you dear readers for following along. I hope perhaps my creative prompt journey inspires you to take your passion project to the next level. Maybe dig deeper yourselves, or hone in a skill. I would love to hear all about it! And yes, there will be bonus content on my Patreon at some point soon, I’m just feeling slightly overwhelmed with life right now.

Week 4: Emotion

    K Ghislaine

I have literally just spend the last hour going through old photos that I took of myself on various writing adventures, in an effort to find myself and my voice. The prompt from Alice Walker, spoke about writing from a place of hate, and how paralyzing it can be. And I felt that paralysis, as I scrolled image after image. The memories of me trying, so hard to reconcile everything that I had been through, while at the same time, sugar coating it all, because I simply wasn’t ready to face the hard reality that I was alone. And more so, that I had been going it alone, for a very, long time.

The writing prompt side of this week, talks about writing from anger, and then revisiting the piece with a more moderate, or middle ground approach. And well, I want to tell you a story, about me doing just that, but over years and years.

As many of you know, I have written a book, a memoir of that open relationship that got me blogging. When I first started the book, I was in love, or what I would later learn was lust. And it was in that state of being I first endeavoured to write a book of fiction. It was a pen and paper novel, that I figured would allow me to better discuss everything that I had questioned but in the “clever” guise of a narrative so I could never be culpable to my relationship. It was… terrible. But an admirable effort on my part.

I did some soul searching and realized that I needed to revise it to a memoir, and keep it in a similar style to my blog so as not to alienate my incredible supportive readers. That book began as a love story, without an ending. It was simply a continuation of the blog with no rising action, no intrigue, just deeper dives into what transpired. My book was doomed, until that fateful day that I realized there was absolutely zero love in my home.

That was the day, that I picked up my book, and started with fresh eyes, and from the beginning. In those few weeks, and then months, I wrote with a fever pitch, and I wrote with anger. Some might even say, hate. But not hate at him. It was hate at myself. I would write words that poured out of me, and I know I cried a lot, but I don’t actually remember when or where. I just wrote, probably 50’000 words of pure rage, and dislike for who I had become as a result of losing myself to him, and his identity. It was awful. And again, so was the book. Because I blamed myself for everything that went wrong, it was horrible introspective that was so one-sided, it added to my depression to even think about. So I didn’t, I just wrote.

This prompt asked about writing with hate, and I think I have learned a lot from writing nearly an entire relationship worth of words, blinded by a rage I couldn’t control. I still don’t quite have the words to describe what a lonely period of time that was. The realization that I was not the person I wanted to be. A lifetime of experiences and adventures, with nothing redeeming to show for it, besides the chapters of a book, filled with self loathing and blame. That was a lesson I learned from. While cathartic, looking back of course, I no longer write when I feel that bubbling rage. I no longer will put words down on a page, when I cannot think straight. I know it those moments, I don’t want to capture that essence. It’s not sincere, it is not honest, and it is not worth capturing.

Writing with emotion is what I do best. Real, raw, and vulnerable. But… with an openness and a realization that there are always more sides to a story than just mine. That is the lesson I took away from writing in a period of hatred. Emotion is good. Extremes are bad! At the end of the day, I want to be remembered for being authentic rather than a drama queen who used her emotion to sensationalize her story. We can save that for the harlequin romance adaptation! Haha.

I hope you are enjoying this writing prompt edition of my blog, and I thank you all for reading!!! This post does not have any behind the scenes photos (no one wants to see me ugly cry!) on Patreon, but there is still some great content, and I am working on switching all my pay-walled medium articles to friends and family ones so there is added incentive to joining. My aim is to have this done for all tier levels, so please be patient with me as I make the changes.

Week 3: Truth

    K Ghislaine

This weeks prompt is from the incomparable Margaret Atwood, and as I should have expected her note was direct and to the point “tell the Truth”. And whether via luck or happenstance this is exactly what I have been struggling with as of late, but not within my writing. No, as I mentioned last week, I really enjoy the process of digging deeper, and as I am discovering with my podcast, fact checking and research are things I really enjoy. There is an uncomplicated, more direction focused nuance to ensuring what I write is accurate. A little mental break if you will, to the emotional ties with which I write words down on a page. And these are all the things that I wanted to brag about really enjoying as I read the task that was presented to me, truth.

However, as I stood in the shower, letting the hot water pour over me, with the almost trance like effect of the rushing water that has elicited so many ideas over the years, I suddenly realized that while my mind and creativity are focused in truth, my body is not. In fact over the past year and a bit, my body has outright lied to me, time and time again. And it is becoming unbearably painful, because on more than one occasion my body has convinced every fibre of my being that we have conceived only to dash my hopes days later.

And well, being a person who adores research and fact checking, I can tell you with the utmost certainty that information available to those struggling to get pregnant absolutely sucks. There is almost no way to tell fact from fiction because everything is subjective. My body lies, my research yields false hope, and an abundance of information that simply states… wait. All you can do is wait! Now here is where it starts to get twisted.

In this new age of internet searching with cookies, and all manor of targeted advertising, something sinister lurks beneath my desperation, the profiteers. Oh yes, the internet knows what you are up to, and let me tell you that there are more than just a handful of so called experts, ready and willing to take your money in exchange for an almost guaranteed plan to help you cleanse your body so you can get pregnant. With a modest monetary exchange, you can reverse the age of your eggs with diet and exercise alone! There is no actual peer reviewed study to back this magic remedy up. Nor any way that you can ensure these things are safe, healthy, effective, or recommended by an actual Dr. But hey, in the wee hours of the night, when you are once again devastated that your body has once again let you down, you might say, “I’ll try anything”. And then dear friends, they’ve got you, and your money.

I wish there was a way to report these charlatans, who give false hope in exchange for your hard earned money, but as of yet, I do not know of a place. It feels criminal that in my hour of vulnerability, and hormonal upheaval, I cannot find a thing that I can try that is endorsed by anyone reasonable or rational. This writing prompt really wanted me to look at a past piece of writing and fact check it, remove bias, and take a long hard look at the accuracy of my words. And well, I want to write something verifiable in regards to increasing my chances of getting pregnant, and quite frankly, as this point in time, I could not ensure universal accuracy. The state of women’s healthcare and research is deplorable. I have hit a wall, and I cannot fact check myself out of it, no matter how hard I have been trying. And well, admitting that I have failed, just… sucks.

Well, until the next writing prompt. Hopefully it will be a tad more uplifting. Thank you as always to the amazing folks who comment, share, and subscribe to my Patreon. I couldn’t do this without your support.

Week 2: Digging Deeper

    K Ghislaine

Fantasy VS Reality

Look at me go… 2 weeks in a row blogging with writing prompts! When does this become a habit that I no longer have to think about? Hmm… that is a question for the ages. If you missed week one, you can click here, and if you want to journal with some writing prompts of your own from some incredible women writers: the book I’m using is the image. Without further ado, let me puzzle out the idea of fantasy vs reality in my own writing.

When I first started reading Ursula K Le Guin speak to imagination and fantasy, I was both captivated by her incredible use of imagery to speak to fiction, and also nervous that in the very second week, I would be unable to complete this task. My written word has primarily existed in the world of non-fiction, memoir, and real life experiences, shared for all, or I suppose overshared is more apt. Fiction is not a medium I work with, and the idea of utilizing disparate concepts is pretty much the complete opposite of where I want to be.

The thing is, when working with a medium that includes other people, the idea of libel is one that often weighs heavily on my mind. As much as I try to relate my experiences and perspectives alone, none of my adventures would exist without others in it. So to create a narrative that is anything less than authentic, colourful or imaginative could open me up to a whole host of things I am not prepared for. So to understand the connection in my own work, is to acknowledge that for the most part, I try to bring as much truth, and sincerity as I can to my words. My playfulness is with puns, little inside jokes that make me smile, and so many euphemisms.

I will say though, when I have played with the idea of merging fantasy and reality, erotica is almost exclusively the result. Am I an amazing writer in that medium? No. Does it take a lot out of me? Yes, yes it does. But, is it fun from time to time? Hells yes. This is the one place where I can take a hot experience, and twist it with a few delightful embellishes or simply play out how I wish an evening could have gone, might have gone, and sometimes just something that I would never want in real life, but my brain says… maybe? If you’re curious here’s a piece I had published many moons ago, that being said, the link was pretty difficult for my computers security to accept as real, so you might not get to read it. But, here goes… A Night for Three.

When my imagination and experiences come together, I never feel like I can publish those words. They aren’t real, and thus, I feel like there is less value in putting them down on paper. I “love” digging deeper in things that are real, and tangible. I have love in quotations because in the past few years it has been a love/hate endeavour, especially in the finishing of my first memoir. In this moment it is love that I feel. And touch of pride that I continuously put myself out there, trying to ensure that I am the best, possible me that I can be. Genuine and real to all those who are in my inner circle. Wow, from a prompt I thought would have no value, I really have gone on an adventure.

Stay tuned for week three! And if you want to see the behind the scenes, or read a few more excerpts from my short lived Breaking Away After Dark series, check out my Patreon.