Birthday Fantasies Stopped in the Making

With my 30th birthday being an inevitable reality, I have been looking into a little spice shall we say.  Just putting out some sexy feelers and perhaps starting my 30’s with a very fun night or two.  So far it is not going as smoothly as I had hoped, and with that said, I am running into some surprising roadblocks.  As I wrote in my last piece, I am always surprised that people encourage others to sleep with strangers.  I may be a little old fashioned in my thinking, but I prefer to get down and dirty with people I actually know, so there is accountability for safety, and feelings should they arise.  Now I am not saying that I sleep with all or even any of my friends, but a little conversation prior to is a must for me.

NoMoreWetSpot.com

Now here is the situation that had me almost rolling my eyes.  A guy that I have chit chatted with for a couple of months has a fantasy.  A fantasy very similar to the one linked here.  Now this is something that although I find pretty hot under the correct circumstances is not exactly what I had in mind for my 30th.  So I put out the feelers to see if the chick he is seeing would be interested in a foursome.  The reply was that he liked her, and that he would not be willing to share someone he liked, and if I wanted he could try and find someone else.  I have heard similar things said many times on the great big interweb, but never once have I actually encountered this in real life.  I suppose that I convinced myself that there is no sex negativity in the people I choose to associate with.  Or maybe that they would not be silly enough to admit these thoughts to me, knowing full well that I write this stuff down and share it!
The bottom line for me is that people who sleep together are not objects devoid of thoughts and feelings.  To exclude a person because you care about them just fundamentally seems wrong to me.  That is the very person that you should talk to about fantasies, about doing fun things together.  If they are not into it, that is perfectly fine, but they should not be excluded.  Does it not make more sense that your sex life be as exciting as possible with those you love and care about rather than reserved for strangers?  Why should we give up certain fun times just to be in a committed relationship?  I would much rather strive to have all good things, and not compromise, or allow myself to be compromised.
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A New Year

The New Year is almost upon us and as we have culturally been raised the New Year brings with it the opportunity to make resolutions.  So we all take a moment and pick a big or small challenge for the year to come.  For the past few years I have come up with a quick little goal in December.  I start it right away and either accomplish it by the end of January or I forget what it was until the next year.  I get discouraged when I don’t successfully reach my goals and thus I sort of safety net myself by my simple resolutions.  This year however I am going to set a more solid goal and my hope is it will just keep building year after year.  And that is being more open and forthcoming with my ideas and my views, to not be afraid of outside judgement.

 

I know it may come as a surprise especially to those who have got to know me through my blog over the past few months, but I am a very closed and protective person.  Or I was for a very long time and made a big change last year in challenging myself first with my friends and then starting this blog.  I struggle daily with being able to tell an interesting story, but for some reason when I write my mind gets very clear and ideas become cohesive and interesting.  Looking back I had no idea just what an impact this change would have on my life, and my lifestyle.  I have written before that I had a very large stick up my ass for much of my life.  And damn it if I haven’t  realized that life is too short to strive for anything short of happiness.

NoMoreWetSpot.com

 

I was watching episode 18 season 6 of House the other night in which the main premise was open relationships.  To sum up there was a married couple who opened up their relationship and the team of doctors tried every which way to analyze the relationship rather than the patient.  One of the doctors asked the wife about her lifestyle and the wife responded with, “ the hardest thing is that people are more interested in my outside affairs than my 7 year happy marriage”.  This struck a major chord with me.  A few nights ago I met a guy for the first time, who is dating a girl in an open relationship.  It blew my mind that I was actually able to have a rational, non sexual discussion with a person face to face about how my life and his life are working better for us because of this lifestyle.  It was so exciting to then share some books that have helped us both challenge our past ways of thinking.

 

And that is my resolution, to continue my journey of being more forthcoming and honest with myself and to those around me.  I have made some very substantial leaps in both my personal relationships and my sexual ones.  Life is moving forward at an amazing pace and I cannot wait to see the surprises in store for 2012.  I cannot thank each and everyone of you enough for your reading and support throughout this past year and I wish you all luck and happiness in your New Year resolutions.

 

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