I will tell you straight up I am writing this post, so I don’t have to type this same message over and over again. And if you feel the same way and are tired of getting inundated with strangers in your private messages, feel free to save the link, and share it with those inbox invaders! Simply, if we have never interacted, I will not respond to your DM (private message, direct message, basically anything in my inbox). If we are friends, please disregard this post.
Why? Initially I took this stance because I was tired of getting Dick Pictures. But it has since evolved into so much more.
Business accounts use auto DM bots to help sell their products. This is impersonal, and whenever I receive these, I unfollow the account immediately. Take the time to personalize a message, after we have interacted. If you have your product clearly on your profile, and I am following you, guess what? I am already interested in what you are selling, so please don’t push that potential sale away, by basically being a used car salesman.
Social Media as a Dating App, bleh! I use social media as a way to learn new things, engage with other’s, and share what I have learned. I use dating apps for dating. For me, these two do not mix. I want my social media engagement to be a safe place, where I can say what I choose, without the risk of constantly being hit on. If I want to flirt with you, guess what? I will tell you! Consent matters. So please don’t send me a DM in hopes of getting to know me. Want to pay me a compliment? Do it publicly or jump onto my Patreon and buy me a beer! Want to say hi? Do it publicly by engaging in my tweets, and all those groovy accounts I follow in the incredible sex positive community.
Simple rule of thumb, if you don’t feel you can say something on my wall, I guarantee I don’t want to read it!
Time Management, is the newest one for me. Quite honestly, I love engaging with people on social media. I enjoy a good conversation, being challenged, and the back and forth fun of questions and answers. Taking the time to like, respond, or send a GIF to each and everyone who takes the time to interact on social media matters to me. Adding responses to every single DM on top of that? No thank you!
The One Exception to my no DM rule is when I ask to DM, or when you publicly ask if we can DM. It’s all about consent, and sometimes I will ask for various things that I know people will be more honest via DM. That being said, in this case, I am asking you to DM, or you are asking me. It’s this whole consent thing, and I don’t feel obligated to send the same cut and paste message of “thanks for the message, but I don’t use DM”.
Do you have a reason you don’t use DM? I would love to hear it, publicly of course on Twitter or Facebook!