Love is Love is Love…

A red decorative heart in a plant pot.

As I get further along in the writing of my second book, a reoccurring theme keeps popping up, that love is love. I know it sounds almost simplistic and you are probably nodding your head going, well of course it is. But it’s more than that, it is something that has to mean something that elicits a reaction, that someday will lead to real and radical change. And I don’t mean in a political sense, because the reality is, I have always felt politicians should stay out of my bedroom, especially seeing at their own track records are usually fairly scandalous. Even more-so in the files that are currently being released, but I don’t have to tell any of you that! In a world of social media hype, fear mongering, and the unfathomable times that people are trying to police other peoples bodies, I say proudly, we need more love and less hate.

Yes, it sounds simplistic, and it’s a message that has been spouted time and time again. Songs, chants, protests, poetry, and every type of medium have pondered this word… love. And yet, here we are, hating each other far more than we are loving those around us. The shift is painful, and I can only say from my perspective, it became overwhelming during Covid when we became separated from one another. And while we should have come back to an open society with arms wide open, hugging our friends and loved ones, that didn’t happen. Instead we tip toed back into the world, still fearful, uncertain, and let’s face it, angry.

The thing is these are things we know, we feel, we experience, in some form or another. We know we are angry, disappointed with the news, our leaders, the economy, and just the state of world in general. What we don’t know, is what to do about it. It feels insurmountable. Too many problems, and very few actionable items that will make a meaningful difference. And I’m right there with you. I have a much shorter fuse these days, getting bogged down with the news, and find myself taking more and more breaks from technology. Not because I want to, but because I feel I have to or I’ll scream! And I have been screaming. Here’s the thing though, time and time again the culprit is choosing hate over love. We are trying to control one another, take each other’s power, or climb some invisible ladder whereby person A is better than person B. And that’s a no from me. In a world with love we don’t have hate and judgement in the forefront of our brains.

Here’s a little recent rant I went on:

“When will the hate and judgement end? As a small child, I had hoped that if mixed babies were the norm one day we would all be purple and live in harmony. As an adult, I now know the error of this thinking, and believe a diversity of skin tones, and culture should be embraced and celebrated, not erased! The same is true for gender and relationship norms. Accepting differences is what makes us compassionate, and complete people. My views have grown, and expanded as I became more educated and met more people, really listening to their viewpoints. I hope this for the world. The hate needs to end. And people who hate, or think people are lesser as a result of their gender, age, or skin colour need to be held accountable. It’s not “love thy neighbor”, as there is little challenge loving someone who looks like you. It needs to be love diversity, differences, and the unique! Challenge your thinking and beliefs, especially when they do harm, or put you above someone else. I long for a world where my heart is filled with love, and not breaking for all the hate and intolerance around me. #loveislove” @k-ghislaine.bsky.social

As I research more and more in depth for my next book, the incredible diversity of relationships and mating habits of the animal kingdom, puts me in a state of awe. Diversity can and does strengthen whole populations, and that is what I am learning after I read about animal after animal. Evolution doesn’t stop because we impart our beliefs or biases on it. Life always finds a way, and I hope in some small way, this post is a reminder that we can choose love over hate. We can choose to support each other. We can stop feeding the fear mongering machine and put our dollars into the arts, gardens/nature, and any place that builds community. Money talks, and if we stop watching every single video telling us about all the bad going on, and start connecting in person, at small businesses, mom and pop venues, even just in nature we will be the start of change that will empower, rather than continue to make the rich and powerful, more rich and powerful.

Love is love is love…

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Hate is Hate is Hate: Get Out of Your Echo Chamber

More Plants, and Less Hate

Well, with another election completed I sit here drained and upset, not with the results, but with the hatred. I firmly believe that love is love.  In fact, I am writing a whole series on Medium about my exploration of love and everything that non-monogamy helped me explore.  You know, the whole, love takes many forms, shapes, and sizes.  It’s a beautiful thing, and if there is anything I would love to be remembered for, it is overcoming many obstacles, and instead of being bitter, or angry, actually showing a side of playful fun, laughter, and love.  Yup.  Pretty simple.  I want to love and be loved, in an aura of happiness and bliss.  Doesn’t that sound lovely?

But, again, here I sit, unfriending people from my real life networking who are spewing hate.  The problem is, they don’t seem to realize they are doing it.  They truly believe that they are on the side of good, and that my friends is the hypocrisy that I simply cannot tolerate.  The world needs people to fight for, and speak up for those who are unable to.  We all deserve love, safety, security, and access to more than basic human rights.  For all these things, we often require advocates with whom can recognize when things are unfair and enact real change for these humans.  This is the compassion and empathy that our world needs more of. 

What we don’t need, is people who go too far in this mission.  The people who become blinded in their own self righteousness brings those further away from the “them”. With the result being… more separation.  We must find a way to start opening the conversations.  We must all, suspend our disbelief for a few moments that we have “enemies” and reflect that perhaps we are all humans and it may be more effective to listen than yell. I know, I know, it sounds crazy.

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I wrote this post mainly, because we just had an election in my province, and that I was unfriending people who were displaying hypocrisy.  I wanted to explore that, acknowledging that yes, I am erring too. The complexity of this issue is that there are people I know I just cannot reach. And there is an element of self care, that comes from putting a little separation between people who are just so far gone, that it is draining to even be in their presence.  While I do wish I could talk to these people, one on one, I simply don’t have the energy for that large of a battle.  Echo chambers are frightening places right now, and waking up all those hornets is going to get me stung. 

This piece is more a start for me.  To ensure I know what my long term goal is.  You know, the ultimate legacy that I want to leave for future generations.  Big words, dreaming big, and envisioning a world with love, empathy, and compassion.  How will we get there?  By listening to people who may not share our views, and trying to find common ground.  But doing so only when we can, and understanding that sometimes it is OK to just close a door for a few moments, and let some of the emotion simmer out. 

As I was reminded a few days ago, after a rant and rave of a horrible customer, perhaps all he needed was a hug and someone to listen to him.  We live in complex times.  And I recognize that there is more to learn by asking questions, rather than having all the answers.  And that is a start to neutralizing hate. Oh and could we please stop telling people who to vote for, and start having arguments and debate again?!? That would be swell…

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