No Means NO!
I shouldn’t have to have my guard up when I am being vulnerable: And yet, here we are again. A lot has happened in my personal life over the past month or so, and in order to understand it and process, I write about it. Yet, without fail, when I show the slightest vulnerability, my DM’s get flooded with personal messages from strangers asking if I’m OK. If there is anything they can do, and wishing that they lived closer so they could hug me. Reality check here, that is predatory behaviour. Do not think for one freaking second that I do not know what you wish me crying on your shoulder would lead to. As always, no means no!
I make my only presence clear, that I do not like private messages, especially from strangers. There is no grey area to this. I am perfectly clear, and repeat myself every few months. And yet, here I am, dealing with something intense and finding that I have to have my guard up against douchebags, preying on my vulnerability.(Affiliate Link)
I am so freaking done with that behaviour. So done. Like beyond done. I deserve to show my feelings in a safe space. I demand that. And if you don’t accept that, don’t follow me. But ask yourself first, why you think my feelings and clear demands for consent are not valid to you. Why do you think you get to supersede my clear words? Why is it that you believe you are an exception?
Yeah, you’re not going to like that answer if you actually think about it. Why? Because, you will find that you are the quintessential “all men” that you probably hate hearing about. Sorry, but I am not sorry! This is ridiculous how many times I have to state the same thing. I should not have to constantly demand respect, not should any other woman.
Yes, I post sexy photos. Yes, I write about taboo subjects, and absolutely if you follow me on Twitter you will see that I don’t hold much back. I am real, bold, and proud of who I am! None of these things should make me a target for dick pictures, lewd messages, or thinly veiled openers to “get inside my private space”. I am quite comfortable in the public sphere, and believe me, I can handle the majority of people. What I cannot abide are those individuals who believe rules don’t apply to them. That is a garbage take, and I want you out of my life… right MEOW!
Here is a list, for easy reference of a few other times I have ranted about this, while I sit here baffled that I have to type this out again:
If you have written anything on this subject, I welcome you to add it to the comments section of this post, or on social media. I will be retweeting all of the articles in hopes of getting through to someone out there who needs to hear this. For those rare individuals who want to atone for bad behaviour of the past, please share this post (after reading a few articles and what others have had to say), and then feel free to buy me a beer via my Patreon!