Tag: Sex Positive

A Post of Gratitude…

    K Ghislaine

*** This article has affiliate links, and no, there is no pressure to buy anything, but you definitely could and I would be super grateful or you could just read on and enjoy my work or check out my Patreon***

Every time I do a 30 day sex positive challenge I think to myself, wow, why don’t I do one of these all the time? And then I remember the amount of work that goes into it, and go, oh right, I don’t get paid. Haha. Yes, eating is important. But so is sex, and information to sex health, education, and resources. But enough about things you already know as a frequent reader of my work, let me delve into something new… well new for me.

A few months ago, I received an email from a guy who was developing a Couple’s Sex Quiz and had an affiliate program that he wanted me to be a part of. I receive affiliate opportunities quite often, so I did what I always do, and applied my due diligence to see if this was something I wanted to represent. If you’ve read my 30 day challenge blog post, you’ll know that I indeed said yes, because it was absolutely on brand for me, and I really enjoyed taking the quiz myself. Fine, nothing really new here, but then, I received a follow up e-mail, that hit me right in the feels: They wrote a blog post… about me!

I have been blogging for 15 years, and have written in various publications, and of course there is the book pitching which I have painstakingly worked on for over a year now. In these roles, I am often asked to write bios, or little blurbs on myself, sometimes even writing full pages of credentials and “who am I” prompts. It honestly, is the most difficult part of being a writer. It feels like selling myself, in order to get people interested in the words I write… about myself. Just one full cycle of vulnerability. But then, to read another person’s take on me, a person they have never met? Well, it was a bunch… of feelings.

You’re welcome to read the post yourself, which you can read at the bottom of their site if you go to blogs (mine is right at the top). And while it was lovely, humbling, and so complimentary it was the first time someone has written a blog post about me. Yes, I’ve had a few introductions over the years, mostly prompted from something I had to draft for them, but this was different. It was a complete surprise and it reminded me just how wonderful it feels to be appreciated. Further, it was a beautiful reminder that words matter. Intention is important, and finally, and most importantly how incredible it is to be lifted up by someone else. And that, is what I want to impart on people. Celebration of others is how we are going to combat this doom and gloom that surrounds us on the day to day.

Yes, I celebrate being sex positive and I encourage each of you to embrace something that makes you smile, gives you joy, perhaps even pleasure. But also, share that with someone who has made you smile. Who has brightened your day, or given you reason to hope, if only for a moment. The world needs it right now. We all need it right now. Let’s spread some gratitude, and get that sex positive energy flowing.

30 Day Challenge: The Sex Positive Kind

    K Ghislaine

Well, the world is going crazy with negativity and news of doom and gloom. So to combat it, or at least give a little distraction, I’ve decided it is high time to revive my 30 day sex positive challenge for the month of October. If you have not heard of this before, don’t worry, it turns out I haven’t really done one successfully since 2020! Where in the world does the time go? At any rate, let me set the stage for what you are in for in our #30DaysSexPositive Challenge.

First up, there is zero sign-up necessary and participation is completely voluntary. Let’s be honest, any challenge to do with the word S E X is daunting to many. But rest assured this one is geared to be inclusive, fun, and hopefully at the end of the day having you feel fabulous about yourself. There will be a few days that will push you out of your comfort zone, and that is OK. Choose your own adventure and only join in with what you are comfortable with. For those who are ready and excited to learn a bit about themselves, being sex positive, and maybe even get a little sexy, here’s the drill.

First, you need to be following me on some sort of platform to see the prompts, which I will post daily. Now, using the word sex can get tricky with things like Facebook, so I won’t be posting anything there. I will however be using X/Twitter, Bluesky, Instagram, and my Patreon subscribers will get their usual bonus content, plus some extras. Wherever you follow me, just watch for the flamingo icon starting Oct 1st, read the blurb, and start playing. If you want to like, share, comment, or even subscribe to my Patreon that is completely up to you. The real point is to get us thinking about sex in a more positive light and normalizing pleasure in all its wondrous forms, and that starts with some self love. Oh, and taking a little break from the day to day grind, in a more pleasurable way.

So, are you ready? Excited? Nervous? I am too! So let us make this years 30 day challenge the best one yet. And if you want a little bonus activity to help you and your partner open up some great dialogue about sex, might I recommend signing up for the Couples Sex Quiz? Yes, I am sharing this as an affiliate, but, you should know I only recommend things that I love, and find value in. So if you’ve ever found yourself nervous to talk about sex with your partner, this is an incredible tool AKA ice breaker. And if you’re in a new relationship, this could be a fun way to see if you are similar pages. Don’t worry, the challenge won’t be all sales pitchy, but from time to time getting a few bucks definitely feels good so there you go. Now, back to the challenge…

I really hope you love what I have created for you because I am so excited to share it with you all, no matter how you decide to participate. Let’s have fun, be kind, and please no shaming of any kind. If at any point someone shares something that is not to your taste, just move on! Sex is for everyone, and the world could certainly use some more kindness right about now! With all that in mind, get ready, because here we go!!!

#30DaysSexPositive

Gizi: My Newest Toy Review!!!

    K Ghislaine
Freshly washed Gizi (photo by KGB)

Sometimes it takes something really special to take a person out of retirement. Ok, that was dramatic. I was not actually in toy review retirement, but it did feel like I took a huge break from doing any. I had found one that just worked, and basically stopped looking, well, until SVibe reached out. And wowza, did that ever awaken some parts of me that I had pretty much left to my partner’s attention rather than take upon myself.

Let’s get right into this unique shaped toy called Gizi (which does contain affiliate links)! Number one, it’s made of body safe silicon which is must, and the added bonus of being waterproof certainly doesn’t hurt. I always find that make the cleaning a little less risky too. It has a magnetic charger which historically I haven’t loved, but they actually did a really great job with the connectivity, and the added indicator lights are a great touch. And yes, it comes in 3 colours, for those who like coordinating their toys.

Now for the fun part. Oh, wait, there is one thing, I need to mention. This toy is not cheap. And, I have to be honest that I was skeptical about the price point, and the pleasure, I mean value, that would result from it. In fact, I think I actually tried to be harder on this toy than most tests, because I wanted to be sure that this would be worth even reviewing. Well, my dear friends, I was… delighted!

There are two buttons: one for clitoral, and the other for the G-Spot. And once turned on, those additional presses will increase the vibration. You can of course just leave one off, and focus on either external or internal orgasms and sensations, however if you turn them both on, they work in sync! I was really impressed. And that unique shape? Well, you can actually unroll in quite a bit to ensure that it rests on exactly the spot that does your trick!

I had the additional joy of having my partner use it on me for a session, and it was amazing! Looking through their catalogue there are some others that I am looking into so we can explore more. With the shape being so flexible, it was really easy to place it in a comfortable position that excited us both. And yes, solo mode worked really well for that too. For such a powerful toy (5 settings of vibration) it was remarkably quiet. I should mention though, that the intensity is all that increases. For those who enjoy varied pulse mode, this is not going to be the toy for you. It is designed really well, to do exactly what it claims, buzz, and buzz well, so big cheers to it not trying to be the toy for every purpose.

Now, if you have made it this far, I am excited to announce that if you purchase through my handy little affiliate link you will receive a discount if you use BREAKINGAWAYFROMMONO10 at checkout. And yes, that will work on any of the offerings on the SVibe catalogue which is pretty darn cool too. I have been really happy with this one, and I would love to hear what you think about it in the comments 🙂 And of course, there is a bonus picture on my Patreon! Enjoy!!!

Week 16 & 17: Rhythm and Objects

    K Ghislaine

As I aim to get back on track with my self writing challenge, I’ve noticed just how much I have pushed myself this past little while. If you’ve read my blog over the past year, you know I have been trying to get pregnant, and so far, there have been very few signs of success or even in doing anything right. I think that there must be a lesson hidden somewhere, probably plain as day to an outsider, but currently still fuzzy to me. The challenge to use rhythm and the focus of objects to write, becomes an interesting task.

Over the past few months, maybe even a year if I look back into my journal, I have really tried to visualize myself as a mother, and in doing so, I have shifted my belief system into one where this is the most important target. With that comes stress, and a sense of deep failure for being unable to produce. To the point of writing with rhythm and poetry though is that normally when I feel those really big feelings, I switch to writing poetry. That alone, that rhythmic voice seems somehow better equipped to bring out my inner most thoughts, maybe even in a gentler way, which is why it works. Words pour out of me, with an almost melodic flow, that feel trance-like. And the tears are then able to flow even faster.

I was shocked to look back upon my book of poetry and discover that I have yet to write anything poetic about my struggles. And I don’t fully understand why. So then, to dig deeper, and incorporate week 17, there is this idea of writing with an object, or a specific focus, that paints things in such a descriptive way that the reader can almost hold it in their hands. And to that end I recently shared with my grandfather just such a piece of writing. It was a piece I wrote years ago, forged from a childhood memory of his old GMC truck. The power of letting him read this nostalgia was, well, powerful. And I wonder, to myself, if I need to incorporate some sort of object, or give focus to my current barren situation so I am better versed at exploring this point in my life. And suddenly, I am uncomfortable.

Have I been keeping myself so busy in an effort to avoid digging? Or, have I simply exhausted how deep I can go within myself, and finally need to just relax and let my cards play out. Obviously, for me it’s the latter, but I say obvious with a sense of irony. It should have been clear, and yet, I have told myself for so long that digging as deep as I can is what produces the best work. And well, it turns out I need a break from striving to be the best I can. Perhaps, just maybe, I’m Ok as I am. Maybe it’s time to just enjoy where I am at, to take a moment to just sit and read in the sunshine, without purpose or intent. While the tools for writing in these last two challenges are fabulous, I think, I might just crack a beer (see what that looks like on my Patreon), and keep them in mind for a project a little later down the road…

Week 15: Danger

    K Ghislaine
Femme Fatale

Why yes, I am behind in my writing prompts, thank you for noticing. And while my intent this week was to catch up with a few weeks all mashed together, I was instead stopped in my tracks when I read Edwidge Danticat’s thoughts on creating dangerously. At first, in reading those words, I felt indifferent. There simply was no relevance, I mused to myself in my writing and anything even remotely dangerous. And then I thought about it, and realized that our dear neighbours to the south are dealing with the loss of female bodily autonomy. Roe VS Wade was the start of something that we all knew would lead to many more words, changes, and legislature with regards to women’s rights, and sadly, we are in a timeline where our rights are being stripped from us, left, right, and centre.

I use those words with purpose and intent because there is no place on the political spectrum that is void of culpability for where we are at now. Either by being too complacent, pushing with too much fervour, or those who simply are showing their true colours, in that they are sexist, plain and simple. And it is with that in mind, that I can actually see a glimmer of possibility that some of what I have written over the years could be dangerous for others to read. And that puzzles my very essence.

Yes, I write about sex, relationships, and have poured so many hours and feelings into non-monogamous exploration. While taboo for many of my writing years, I rarely felt scared or nervous to put words on a page. But, then again, I never in my wildest dreams thought that we could go backwards in time, preventing access to abortion and contraception in what we clearly have mislabelled the first world. I have written about abortion both in this blog, and on medium, and felt free to do so. There is a real possibility that those freedoms could be restricted for people in the future. That is terrifying.

Words should never feared unless they depict hate, lies, or violence. We should be free to discuss, debate, and share thoughts and feelings on subject matters that affect us all. My eyes are wide open to the fact that people fear what they don’t understand, and that includes discussion about female sexuality and relationships that our outside of mainstream western thinking. I challenge myself to daily to put these things out into the universe because I long for a world with acceptance, love, and kindness. The notion that there could be danger in this to a reader at some point in the future is not a comforting idea. But one, that I think every writer or content creator should spend a little time with. Times are changing faster than we can keep up with. And my only advice for anyone creating ideas right now, it to make sure you take some time for self care. I don’t want to exercise “what if” scenarios at this current moment in time, because this dystopian landscape is far beyond my wildest nightmares.

I will be spending some time exploring danger, and what that means in my writing both past and present. But, as I cannot change things as fast as they change around me, ultimately I can only forge ahead knowing that I have been as authentic as I can be, for both my readers, and my own peace of mind. Thank you all, for sharing this journey, for being curious, and brave! I see you, and appreciate you, especially those on my Patreon (Behind the scenes photos and content)! Stay tuned for the next instalment of my Women’s Writing series on Rhythm and Objects!