I am working diligently on getting my life back to a place where I feel more whole. And part of that journey has included a stark realization, that may I never actually get there, and to just put my happiness on hold until that magical moment arrives is foolhardy at best. So, when something joyful happens in my life, I now smile, pause, reflect, enjoy it, basically I have given myself permission to start being the happy, optimistic person that I used to be. Going back to my childhood nickname of “ray of sunshine” is, a dream come true. So, with all of this in hand, I posted a sexy image on Twitter last week whereby I said “somedays you have to wear that bra that makes your boobs look incredible under that most unassuming t-shirt”.
I was celebrating the fact that I was feeling sexy, just for me. I was at a point again, where I was feeling playful, and fun. And within moments I received this message “I’m sorry.. no bra beats the look of a hard nipple under some cloth”. I was shocked. The comment literally had zero purpose. And I realized that some people just need to be heard. They feel it is their duty to comment on everything, to voice their opinions, and to use another person’s celebration as a platform for their own purpose. And for a the next few hours, I got trolled hard. Two male accounts in particular started clamoring for how I posted something public, and therefore any and all opinions and comments should be expected. I was in the wrong for trying to moderate my own content. And their opinions deserved to be heard just as loudly as mine. It was, asinine.
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You can read the whole thing on my Twitter under the same picture on this post if you’re bored, but let me pull out just one more quote from the account in question as he tried to explain why he wrote his comment “all I did was indicate my preference for the braless look. It wasn’t about you”. Obviously there was a clamoring of “then why write that”, which fell on deaf ears. It was now about something vastly different than the original intent of feeling confident enough to share that I was feeling sexy. It was showing a glaring truth about the social media sphere of things. And I almost wanted to say “if you can’t saying anything nice, then don’t say anything at all”. But you see, I don’t actually believe in that. We as a society are too nice. We don’t want to offend anyone so, we keep our opinions to ourselves. What really needs to be said, is something along the lines of relevance. Why do you feel the need to comment. Are you adding to the conversation? Is there relevance? Context is king here.
What did the guy really want out of that comment? Was he looking to see me without a bra, or with hard nipples instead? Yeah, probably, however when I asked him flat out his intent, he didn’t seem to know. He couldn’t articulate the rational for writing that. And that is where my main aggravation comes from. If you want to add to the conversation, debate, have a real conversation I am 100% for that. But, I am not here to just be your soapbox, or have you piggyback off of my content.
Now, you are probably asking why I titled this blog the way I did. Quite simply, because context is everything. Use those reading comprehension skills that you learned in elementary, and apply them. If someone posts an article, picture, video, podcast, really anything, before you comment ask yourself what their intent is, and then ask yourself, why are you really commenting? Are you adding to the conversation? Are you looking for something different? Are you displeased with something? Are you trying to network or promote your own content? The bottom line, is interact with purpose. Know what that is, and be responsible for your own words just as the content creator is. And remember the golden rule of the internet, nothing is every permanently deleted, so… don’t be that troll!
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