As I continue to research, and write about mismatched relationships over on Medium, a thought keeps sneaking in, wouldn’t life be easier if we could just use the force when it comes to relationships? I don’t mean use force, but, what if the energy I put into a person was guaranteed to come back to me in some form or another? What if I could actually control where my energy goes? Obviously, that is just wishful or as I like to say wistful thinking because the force definitely does not work on relationships!
For years I have noticed that I am the friend who is coming up with things to do, inviting people out, or texting people to see how they are. And with dating and relationships I am noticing the same pattern. If I am not the one inviting someone to meet up, grab beers, or just initiating the conversation… ABSOLUTELY NOTHING HAPPENS! I’ve used the excuse for years that it’s because I am non-monogamous and people are either secretly uncomfortable with it, or just afraid of pissing me off and pushing boundaries. But honestly, what is truly wrong with reciprocating a text every so often. Or just inviting me out for a walk with zero expectations? I am not that scary in person!!!One day, one day I will get to go camping with this blanket again and I hope you will get use out of yours too! (affiliate)
Or perhaps I am. I honestly don’t even know anymore. A friend remarked that I should blame it on Covid, others say that the dating world has just changed in general thanks to easy access of people via Tinder/Hookup apps, and of course there is the whole non-monogamous elephant in the room. People don’t seem to believe that I am truthful when I say that I do not have a long list of beaus just waiting for my call. I don’t and if I did, I would be upfront and honest about it. Because yes, I am honest almost to a fault!
As a small child I remember being told that if people don’t like you for who you are, then they are not worth having as friends. And now, more than ever those words haunt me. Because in the adult world, things are not so black and white. Are people intimidated by me? Does that mean they don’t actually like me? And the real question, are people themselves really honest about who they like and who they don’t like? Or are we all just kind of placating the masses or the big group of people, fearful of hurting anyone’s feeling? If any of those questions actually get answered, the pool of which to connect with awesome people changes dramatically.
And we go back to my original thought, what would happen if the energy I put into a person and getting to know them was reciprocated? Or, is this life of non-monogamy filled with compromise, where you take what you can get due to time, family, emotional outputs, and just life in general? To find happiness and joy in the small moments, rather than a complete picture? But here we sit, waiting patiently for a vaccine, and unable to make even the simplest new connections. Well, back to the rabbit hole of researching mismatched relationships!