Blogging… Oh to blog in 2025

    K Ghislaine

When I started the year, I felt I needed inspiration and to take the focus off of everything that I felt was going wrong with my body. So, I embarked on a personal writing challenge, with prompts from I’m Still Writing. It did exactly what I hoped it would. It got me writing again, which I desperately needed after the completion of my first book, and the complete disappointment that I felt with not getting what I wanted. That sentence sounds childish and selfish. I know, but it’s the truth. I put so much effort and mental focus on having a baby, publishing my first book, and well, I’m hard on myself and set lofty goals. And I’m even harder when it comes to things that I can’t control, so thanks for nothing 2025.

The other thing that I grappled with, is that the sex life of a monogamous and happy person, just doesn’t seem interesting to write about. My boyfriend really wants me to strike it rich with the creation of my own harlequin romance novel, with him as the dashing hero. So, obviously I have his loving support to write about our sex lives. But, we were having sex, sometimes on timed days to coincide with the pills I took for a few months to try and encourage pregnancy. Yes, these are stories that have value, but writing about failure, just bummed me out.

I keep writing this sentiment about getting back to basics, and just blogging because I love it. And well, after a year of identity conflicts, I’m still here. My 30 day sex positive challenge turned out to be the real fuel that I needed because a few of you embraced it, and connected. So, I guess with blogs going out of fashion, OK, that’s been happening for years and years, but it’s the connection that I need. Twitter helped me explore so much diversity over the years. I lament the loss of that social media hub. I miss the sex positive community that I was a part of there. And thus, writing over much of the past year has felt, emptier and much more quiet.

I have cried more than a few times on the shoulder of my love, how I just need a win. And I’m coming to terms with it not being a win per se, but more, connection with a community. I don’t know where to find that right now. The non-monogamous sex positive people really came to mean a lot to me. And I simply haven’t found anything even close to that in my transition phase. But, here I am, putting myself out there, doing what I do, which is be vulnerable and honest. I am looking for my community. I am seeking that rush of ideas, and sharing of information. While I’m looking, primarily on Bluesky, I understand deeply that what I had, will probably never happen again. So, with eyes wide open, I’m looking.

Oh, and I should probably let you all know, that I am writing again. Not just blogging, and my articles on Medium. But… a project… book number 2. The likelihood of a memoir styled book being my first to be published I knew was a long shot. This next one, is filled with research and honestly has been really fun to plot and plan (With the subject matter being sex and dating??? Of course I am having fun). So, here we go, writing the next one! Always pushing forward, even after a long 2025, with sadly none of my big dreams coming true. Oh well, all I can do is keep dreaming, writing, and trying!

Want to buy me a coffee or a beer, please check out my Patreon page. Or, just comment wherever you found this post! It really does mean the world to me!

A Post of Gratitude…

    K Ghislaine

*** This article has affiliate links, and no, there is no pressure to buy anything, but you definitely could and I would be super grateful or you could just read on and enjoy my work or check out my Patreon***

Every time I do a 30 day sex positive challenge I think to myself, wow, why don’t I do one of these all the time? And then I remember the amount of work that goes into it, and go, oh right, I don’t get paid. Haha. Yes, eating is important. But so is sex, and information to sex health, education, and resources. But enough about things you already know as a frequent reader of my work, let me delve into something new… well new for me.

A few months ago, I received an email from a guy who was developing a Couple’s Sex Quiz and had an affiliate program that he wanted me to be a part of. I receive affiliate opportunities quite often, so I did what I always do, and applied my due diligence to see if this was something I wanted to represent. If you’ve read my 30 day challenge blog post, you’ll know that I indeed said yes, because it was absolutely on brand for me, and I really enjoyed taking the quiz myself. Fine, nothing really new here, but then, I received a follow up e-mail, that hit me right in the feels: They wrote a blog post… about me!

I have been blogging for 15 years, and have written in various publications, and of course there is the book pitching which I have painstakingly worked on for over a year now. In these roles, I am often asked to write bios, or little blurbs on myself, sometimes even writing full pages of credentials and “who am I” prompts. It honestly, is the most difficult part of being a writer. It feels like selling myself, in order to get people interested in the words I write… about myself. Just one full cycle of vulnerability. But then, to read another person’s take on me, a person they have never met? Well, it was a bunch… of feelings.

You’re welcome to read the post yourself, which you can read at the bottom of their site if you go to blogs (mine is right at the top). And while it was lovely, humbling, and so complimentary it was the first time someone has written a blog post about me. Yes, I’ve had a few introductions over the years, mostly prompted from something I had to draft for them, but this was different. It was a complete surprise and it reminded me just how wonderful it feels to be appreciated. Further, it was a beautiful reminder that words matter. Intention is important, and finally, and most importantly how incredible it is to be lifted up by someone else. And that, is what I want to impart on people. Celebration of others is how we are going to combat this doom and gloom that surrounds us on the day to day.

Yes, I celebrate being sex positive and I encourage each of you to embrace something that makes you smile, gives you joy, perhaps even pleasure. But also, share that with someone who has made you smile. Who has brightened your day, or given you reason to hope, if only for a moment. The world needs it right now. We all need it right now. Let’s spread some gratitude, and get that sex positive energy flowing.

30 Day Challenge: The Sex Positive Kind

    K Ghislaine

Well, the world is going crazy with negativity and news of doom and gloom. So to combat it, or at least give a little distraction, I’ve decided it is high time to revive my 30 day sex positive challenge for the month of October. If you have not heard of this before, don’t worry, it turns out I haven’t really done one successfully since 2020! Where in the world does the time go? At any rate, let me set the stage for what you are in for in our #30DaysSexPositive Challenge.

First up, there is zero sign-up necessary and participation is completely voluntary. Let’s be honest, any challenge to do with the word S E X is daunting to many. But rest assured this one is geared to be inclusive, fun, and hopefully at the end of the day having you feel fabulous about yourself. There will be a few days that will push you out of your comfort zone, and that is OK. Choose your own adventure and only join in with what you are comfortable with. For those who are ready and excited to learn a bit about themselves, being sex positive, and maybe even get a little sexy, here’s the drill.

First, you need to be following me on some sort of platform to see the prompts, which I will post daily. Now, using the word sex can get tricky with things like Facebook, so I won’t be posting anything there. I will however be using X/Twitter, Bluesky, Instagram, and my Patreon subscribers will get their usual bonus content, plus some extras. Wherever you follow me, just watch for the flamingo icon starting Oct 1st, read the blurb, and start playing. If you want to like, share, comment, or even subscribe to my Patreon that is completely up to you. The real point is to get us thinking about sex in a more positive light and normalizing pleasure in all its wondrous forms, and that starts with some self love. Oh, and taking a little break from the day to day grind, in a more pleasurable way.

So, are you ready? Excited? Nervous? I am too! So let us make this years 30 day challenge the best one yet. And if you want a little bonus activity to help you and your partner open up some great dialogue about sex, might I recommend signing up for the Couples Sex Quiz? Yes, I am sharing this as an affiliate, but, you should know I only recommend things that I love, and find value in. So if you’ve ever found yourself nervous to talk about sex with your partner, this is an incredible tool AKA ice breaker. And if you’re in a new relationship, this could be a fun way to see if you are similar pages. Don’t worry, the challenge won’t be all sales pitchy, but from time to time getting a few bucks definitely feels good so there you go. Now, back to the challenge…

I really hope you love what I have created for you because I am so excited to share it with you all, no matter how you decide to participate. Let’s have fun, be kind, and please no shaming of any kind. If at any point someone shares something that is not to your taste, just move on! Sex is for everyone, and the world could certainly use some more kindness right about now! With all that in mind, get ready, because here we go!!!

#30DaysSexPositive

Gizi: My Newest Toy Review!!!

    K Ghislaine
Freshly washed Gizi (photo by KGB)

Sometimes it takes something really special to take a person out of retirement. Ok, that was dramatic. I was not actually in toy review retirement, but it did feel like I took a huge break from doing any. I had found one that just worked, and basically stopped looking, well, until SVibe reached out. And wowza, did that ever awaken some parts of me that I had pretty much left to my partner’s attention rather than take upon myself.

Let’s get right into this unique shaped toy called Gizi (which does contain affiliate links)! Number one, it’s made of body safe silicon which is must, and the added bonus of being waterproof certainly doesn’t hurt. I always find that make the cleaning a little less risky too. It has a magnetic charger which historically I haven’t loved, but they actually did a really great job with the connectivity, and the added indicator lights are a great touch. And yes, it comes in 3 colours, for those who like coordinating their toys.

Now for the fun part. Oh, wait, there is one thing, I need to mention. This toy is not cheap. And, I have to be honest that I was skeptical about the price point, and the pleasure, I mean value, that would result from it. In fact, I think I actually tried to be harder on this toy than most tests, because I wanted to be sure that this would be worth even reviewing. Well, my dear friends, I was… delighted!

There are two buttons: one for clitoral, and the other for the G-Spot. And once turned on, those additional presses will increase the vibration. You can of course just leave one off, and focus on either external or internal orgasms and sensations, however if you turn them both on, they work in sync! I was really impressed. And that unique shape? Well, you can actually unroll in quite a bit to ensure that it rests on exactly the spot that does your trick!

I had the additional joy of having my partner use it on me for a session, and it was amazing! Looking through their catalogue there are some others that I am looking into so we can explore more. With the shape being so flexible, it was really easy to place it in a comfortable position that excited us both. And yes, solo mode worked really well for that too. For such a powerful toy (5 settings of vibration) it was remarkably quiet. I should mention though, that the intensity is all that increases. For those who enjoy varied pulse mode, this is not going to be the toy for you. It is designed really well, to do exactly what it claims, buzz, and buzz well, so big cheers to it not trying to be the toy for every purpose.

Now, if you have made it this far, I am excited to announce that if you purchase through my handy little affiliate link you will receive a discount if you use BREAKINGAWAYFROMMONO10 at checkout. And yes, that will work on any of the offerings on the SVibe catalogue which is pretty darn cool too. I have been really happy with this one, and I would love to hear what you think about it in the comments 🙂 And of course, there is a bonus picture on my Patreon! Enjoy!!!

Week 20 & 21: Give and Take, and Freedom

    K Ghislaine

With a little hiatus from writing due to navigating all that life is throwing my way, I resume my writer’s challenge with a “just do it” attitude. Normally, I read the challenges and ponder for a bit. Today, I have read them and what you are reading is my natural flow of consciousness, for better or for worse. Oddly, that is in tune with the second part of the writing prompt called Freedom, brought forward by George Elliot. She writes about changing your form, your voice, and most importantly, letting the words take on “any form”.

While she really is focusing on diversity of voices in a more fictionalized setting, I am utilizing this more free-form style to remind myself that my blog is my own stream of consciousness, and it is only me who forces this mandate of importance. I am the one that sets my guidelines. And well, sometimes it’s better to just simply write, let it all, than to adhere to my arbitrary rules. Enter in Jean Rhys and this idea of “feeding the lake”. An admittedly overwhelming idea, being that her intent is that no matter how great or small your contribution, any and all forms of writing are feeding the lake. And that no matter what, this is what, we as writers should do.

This notion scares me, rather than motivates. But here I am, feeding into this idea, just doing it, although I feel drained and empty. But I recognize that these are things I have done to myself. I have allowed things to creep in, and give me excuses not to just write.

For anyone who has been a long time reader, you’ll notice that I used to write to sort out problems, of the primarily non-monogamous variety. I wrote mini-essays whereby I would have a question and then I would sort it out within a few paragraphs. Sometimes, I would share sexy stories or situations too, as a way of free-form writing or blogging diary type words. Why is this part of my current stream of consciousness that I am including in this? Because, my life is so vastly different from where this blog started. My daily adventures aren’t forced situations that I have to wrack my brain around to forge a path. My problems solving is different now. My writing need, is one of acceptance and healing, rather than an “in the moment” must deal with urgency.

That’s not to say that life has slowed down, but the pressure to make a relationship work no matter what is gone. And in that, the need to write things down as quickly as possible is also gone. That leaves me feeling almost lazy in my creative endeavours. My sense of urgency doesn’t exist in the way it did a decade ago. Huh!?! Now that is a realization I did not see coming.

As I sit here, wondering what I am going to do with that little revelation, I want to express my sincere thank you to anyone who has shared this journey. And for those, missing the old sexy content, well there is always my Patreon. And… I have have just received a new toy in the mail (affiliate link of my new arrival)!!! So, a little something something once I test it all out will be coming soon. No matter how far away I sometimes feel from my past, the universe reminds that I am who I am, and I am grateful that it welcomes me back whenever I lose my way.